fabulousgal Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Wow. 2/3 of the way there (I set a goal of 60 days NC just to prove to myself I could). Whilst I very much miss this man, I am proud of myself. I am alive and kicking. What have I done? Pilates and picked back up running. Signed up for my first race in a month! My friends and I were just on a trip that required bikinis and I got a lot of compliments!Saw friends, but guess what, because I didn't "dump" them while I was in a relationship, and continually tried to see them, they were so there for me as much as I needed because I hadn't "resurfaced"Presented my case for partnership at my company and got great reviews!Went on my first business development meeting that I initated for my company, and the potential client really liked us!Took 2 trips to really fun cities, one for work and one with a girlfriend from collegeSpoke at a conferencePicked back up reading business articlesWent out on a few dates and have been talking to a ton of guys onlineWent on a shopping spree with my momHad a spa dayLots of therapy I probably drank too much wine sometimes but, sighNot going to lie, I wish this wasn't the outcome and we were still together. But I am thinking about him less. Still intense feelings, but a whole lot less. I even ignored something pretty serious because I knew for my sanity, I needed more than one intense reach out. So, the moral of the story is feel your pain. But distract yourself. Live your life, pretend each day may be your last. It can be motivating. If you are depressed, see someone, don't be afraid of meds if you need them. Limit your time wallowing on LS. Write on the "notes" application on your phone anytime you feel like texting them. I have a list on mine of texts I wanted to send. Just the action of typing made it theraputic. Delete their number. If you have to type it out, it can prevent you from being silly. Think about the relationship hard. Was it toxic? Did they just up and leave without warning? In either case you should be SCARED AS HELL to reconcile with someone who is so careless, unless they get help. Ok, I am done for now. Let's see if I can make it to 60. I am not doubting it's not hard. It sucks. But live it like it's your life and they or anyone else would be LUCKY to be in it. No one wants a broken wallowy hot mess. Carpe Diem! 5
BLS Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 A very inspirational post, well done. Why contact them at 60 days? make it 100. Then when it's 100 make it 150 and so on and so forth
Waz Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Wow, very nice progress. I'm happy for you All these within 40 days. Keep going, you will succeed, you love your self enough and that's excellent. It's also really good you kept contact with your friends, well done. Focus on your self and your career, so you can be an independent woman who doesn't need anyone for her happiness. Everybody likes that Limit your time wallowing on LS.I noticed that too. Specially if someone broke up recently, browsing LS, is causing you some kind of depression, at least that's what i have experienced on a certain level Plus, it's a waste of time if you do this all the time, while in the same time you spend here, you could achieve so many productive things, like you did. Anyway, keep up the good work
Author fabulousgal Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Focus on your self and your career, so you can be an independent woman who doesn't need anyone for her happiness. Everybody likes that My ex did not!!!!! Sigh. That guy had all the freedom in the world. I never cared ever if he went out with his friends, I'd say bye have fun. But I could never do ENOUGH for him. I show affection through doing little things, and I am all over a guy at home. I am super shy with PDA, and this guy never told me I was pretty, was pissed I didn't initiate hand holding in public. I did little things to start up our sex life (we waited) like buy lingerie I was going to cook for him in, or themed lingerie of his favorite sports team. He NEVER even asked to see it. But yet at the end of our relationship it was my fault for not being affectionate enough and having my own plans and going to the gym that he took issue with. So so toxic but I am sad. I miss him, we spent a lot of time together. Even though I don't think he appreciated me. So NC it is. Not wasting time on someone who doesn't know what they got.
Author fabulousgal Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 So I've stopped counting days of NC! I don't care anymore. I am over it. Not 100% ready to hear he is dating anyone, but I think about him hardly ever and know now I need to move forward and find a better fit. Yay NC. Shout out to all the people on this site that bang the message into our stubborn, foggy heads (like minneloa, taramaiden). I will pay it back to those of you in need! 3
FlockaFlex Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I'm sure once you reach 60 you won't have a desire to contact him again. I'm thinking thats how I'll feel. I just started NC and I don't ever want to contact her again. She doesn't give a **** about me so why should I waste my time on her?
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