Joyvke Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 So me and my ex were dating for nearly 2 years. In the end of Oktober 2012 we had a big stupid thing going on (which is described in my thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/364665-i-really-dont-know-anymore#post4485718). We broke up, he wrote me a really sweet poem and a few days later he didn't love me anymore. Ofcourse the first thing you think is "he has someone else", but yea he's only sitting at home behind the pc, only goes out on saturday evening (to friends of his parents) to eat takeaway, and during the day he's at work. Pretty much he is always online and talking to me 9 out of 10 times. So if he had someone else, it would have been hard to keep that hidden or whatever. I do want to trust him enough when I asked him if he had someone and he said no, because in a LDR trust is pretty much everything. So we met again in December, said goodbyes. Both of us couldn't stop keeping in touch with one another and we met again in January a few days after my birthday. Had a great weekend, except for the last night which turned pretty sour as he really didn't wanted to give it a try. The next day before he dropped me off at the airport he said we could give it a go, but with no expectations and me not feeling he was using me or whatever. So we did try, I was very happy. We talked every day and send messages on whatsapp and what not. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, we had a great weekend again. Very intimate, romantic dinner for two in the garden house etc. Then on the 30th of March I broke it off, because he feels like he's a different person when he's at home. It's not that I'm demanding an awful lot when it comes to attention, but it would be nice to hear that he loves me. Apparently when he said things to me that weekend it was "because I put him on the spot". So he said there were still no feelings from his end, but when we were cuddling it didn't feel empty like it did with my previous ex. My friends said that they could see he really loved me as well, as well as my family. It's what I thought too, but he claims it wasn't. On the 31st of March I was saying it could be an idea that we wouldn't speak/ see each other for a complete month (usually we'd both break NC after a few days, both him and me). I would also work on myself and he could do some thinking. It would be the weekend of 3rd may when we would meet up again then. I wanted to stop contact on the 1st op April, but he asked if we really couldn't talk for a few more days, because it would be more then a month (which was already kind of like "hmmmm what does it matter"). I said maybe it would be a good idea to just stop now, especially since he was home on that Monday and I'm usually always there when he is. Hoping he's realize how he would miss me. He has been checking his phone a lot the first days of NC (same as I did). I'm surprised I still haven't caved in to send me a text. I have been thinking alot over the past few days. Even though I really miss him and still love him, I think I've actually had enough of this behavior. It's not that I think he's used me, don't get me wrong, but some things he's said. I got the feeling he's idolizing how a relation should be or thinking back on the "honeymoon phase". Thinking about all these things I started wondering, so I'm wanting to give us a chance, but the reasons he has given me over the past few months makes me wonder if I actually want to give it a try anymore. He really isn't the considerate guy I fell in love with, he has changed an awful lot, or maybe I just never realized how much of a selfish person he actually is until recently. He really wants to stay friends, but one of the thing he's said was that half of the things I talk about don't interest him, so why would he want to stay friends with someone that doesn't interest him half of the time as well? A part of me doesn't want to lose him, but another part is thinking, I've had enough.
TaraMaiden Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Listen to the 'another part'. Otherwise you just lather, rinse, repeat......
Author Joyvke Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) Listen to the 'another part'. Otherwise you just lather, rinse, repeat...... I am leaning that way since it has already been a rinse and repeat. He doesn't want to lose me completely since he really wants to stay friends, but for me it's either all or nothing. I don't want to put myself through the same pain as years ago, because I felt guilty for being the only friend who would be leaving and such. In the end they always came back with regrets, because I am an amazing girlfriend and I know damn well that whatever guy would get me could clap in his hands for having me (not in looks perhaps, but personality wise I'm one of the most loyal people out there and not wanting to change someone, always up for something, loving someone with my heart and not demanding or what not.). It's a shame they always realize that when I am gone. Edited April 5, 2013 by Joyvke
TaraMaiden Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Yup, you're right. can't be 'friends'.... Read my No Contact Guide, if you will... it's in my signature. plus a whole follow-on thread full of good advice, too.....
Recommended Posts