Reddice Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 After 3 months of NC, I finally got my share of breadcrumbs by email... To be honest, I had gotten to a point where I was sure I was never going to hear from my ex ever again. I'm a bit in shock and would like some input from some of you guys. I have translated the text, as the original is not in English: Hi Reddice, How are you doing? I hope you're doing well. I wanted to ask when you had time for me to come by and pick up my kitchen appliances, backup my the holiday pictures and pickup some boxes if you haven't thrown them away in the meanwhile. I would like to see you again before I leave on holiday. Let me know ;-) Regards, Name P.S. I just want you to know that I still miss you a lot :-( Some of you know my background story, but I'll tell you briefly just in case: She left me for someone else in January. Seeing as the first month after the break I was still a bit stalkerish, I know that last weekend she went to Paris with her new love (yeah, the planned it within a month). I also posted a thread here on LS a couple of weeks ago, explaining that I saw her walking with her new BF and how much it sucked to see them. Now, there are several things I can do. I just don't know what is the best/right thing to do. I can: 1. Delete her email and ignore. 2. Being nice by replying and telling her I erased all her pictures (which I actually have done) and that I threw away all the kitchen appliances (which would be a lie) and that there is thus no need to meet up. End by wishing her a nice holiday. 3. Being short and to the point. Telling her I erased all her pictures, saying that she should have come sooner. And saying that I threw away all the kitchen appliances and that there is thus no need to meet up. Period! 4. Something else? I know there's no right or wrong, but what would you do? Or what would you advice me to do? I would appreciate some feedback. Thnx in advance!
Frank13 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Just the fact that she is still with the guy and went to Paris last weekend, I would delete the email and ignore. A lot of times breadcrumbs are when the person they left you for doesn't work out or they get dumped. The fact she is still with him and telling you she misses you a lot is her having her cake and eating it too. Your silence will speak volumes. I can see you wanting to tell her things and act like it no longer bothers you, but that will still give her an ego stroke because she knows you were at least thinking of her when you replied. The "have a nice holiday" will sound friendly and she will be happy that maybe you can be friends with her. The other reply looks like maybe you are mad, which again will feed her ego. Deleting the email and ignoring her will give her the idea that you never read it or did read it and then deleted it in a couple seconds and went on with your life. It will tell her that she is not worth a second of your time, that she is forgotten, and is dead to you. She isn't interested in reconciliation. These are bread crumbs. Your best revenge is no contact. I had an ex once who told me she wanted to email me but wouldn't because it hurt too much when I didn't reply.
Sugarkane Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Personally I have found no good comes from breadcrumbs they feed us. She got what she wanted a new SO. She may want her cake and eat it too. Some people get off on stringing the ex along, I know it's happened to me. What will you talk about? How great your replacement is? I think you should delete it.
Starman8 Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 I always find that it’s best to be the bigger person and act in a classy manner. So I would let her know you deleted the pictures and let her have the appliances back. However you don’t have to see her if you don’t want to or if you feel it would set you back emotionally. You can make arrangements for her to pick them up without you there.
Sugarkane Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Personally I have found no good comes from breadcrumbs they feed us. She got what she wanted a new SO. She may want her cake and eat it too. Some people get off on stringing the ex along, I know it's happened to me. What will you talk about? How great your replacement is? I think you should delete it. If you do answer be prepared that it may set you back etc. 1
Philosoraptor Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 It depends on how you feel right now. I'd be honest and say you'll leave the things out for her at xyz time and the pictures were deleted awhile back.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 No need to be classy, because if you meet up with her it will set you back emotionally. You need to do whats good for you, which is to ignore her and delete the email. DO NOT let her have her cake and eat it too, she said she missed you to draw you in, possibly to boost her ego. Dont do it. If she wants her stuff back that bad, let her get desperate, let her send a few emails that go ignored first. Make her work for your contact. And when you finally respond, THEN you tell her you deleted and threw away everything, and "good luck". No feeling in the email, no have a nice summer, "good luck" keeps it cold and distant and final. It also tells her that you dont want to hear from her again. Telling her you tossed everything also tells her that you werent thinking of her all this time. You want her to think you forgot she existed. By then if she contacts you that much, you will feel a great amount of confidence being able to resist her.
Author Reddice Posted May 31, 2012 Author Posted May 31, 2012 Thanks a lot for replying guys! It's always better to have people look at a situation objectively from a distance. I can advice other people without too much trouble, but when it comes to myself, it gets a lot harder. Anyway, I have chosen to ignore and delete her email. The more I think about it, the more certain I am of this. In the first place, because she still owes me money... I almost forgot about it. And I'm not talking about small change either, but over 400 shiny euros. When she left, she had promised me that I would get it. Four months later, I still haven't seen a cent. Never asked for it either, as I can miss it and are not interested in any more drama. The kitchen appliances are not even a fraction of that amount, so she can take what she saved up and buy herself some new crap. Either that or her new BF can buy it for her, I don't care. In the second place: She misses me? Really? In what way does she miss me? She doesn't clearly state this. I miss my dog, who died when I was 4 years old. Does she miss me in the same way? Well apparently, because it doesn't seem she missed me too much when she went to Paris with her new guy. I guess it's hard to miss someone when you got another guy's dick stuck in your mouth. I mean... I fought for this girl, I really did. I might have continued to do so if she hadn't left me for someone else. But she dropped me like a ton of bricks. As if I meant nothing to her. As if I was not worth fighting for. She sacrificed me for some random dude. And now I get all this stupid bull****? Not even apologies after putting me through hell? As far as I'm concerned, I owe her nothing. No reply, no kitchen appliances, nothing at all! We'll see how much she really misses me though. She's leaving for a 4 week holiday in 2 or 3 weeks from now. I guess it will be her ultimate test. Either she misses the new guy, or she doesn't. Either she misses me, or she doesn't. By then it won't really matter though. I will be leaving for a 3 week holiday myself in August and will be partying hard in both Panama City and Cancun. So worst case scenario, I will hear from her again in these coming 2 or 3 weeks. Best case scenario, I won't hear from hear until September almost (or perhaps never again). By then I expect to be in a completely different mindset though. I will keep you guys informed if anything new comes up. Thanks again for taking your time! I really appreciate it. 3
BDranger Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Hi Reddice, How are you doing? I hope you're doing well. I wanted to ask when you had time for me to come by and pick up my kitchen appliances, backup my the holiday pictures and pickup some boxes if you haven't thrown them away in the meanwhile. I would like to see you again before I leave on holiday. Let me know ;-) Regards, Name P.S. I just want you to know that I still miss you a lot :-( Any c*** that would leave me and ask for her s*** back shouldn't message me. I'd probably take a shotgun to her appliances. Oh and leaving me a wink message, nope, deleted!
ToyWithMe812 Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 "Sorry, pictures are gone, but I can leave your kitchen appliances outside the pad if you want, but it will have to be soon as I will have a new roommate/i don't have room for some other reason." (you can always piss in her blender, toaster, etc., just saying)
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