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11 days NC.Feels great but, also feels like he doesn't care anymore


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 12th April 2012, 6:57 PM   #1
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Arrow 11 days NC.Feels great but, also feels like he doesn't care anymore

So I have already told you guys this but, the last contact I had with my ex was flipping him the bird, the day after he texted me saying that "I looked beautiful" when he saw me the day before.


I gotta admit-having no contact at all is helping me to get over him.This has been the longest time in 3 years of knowing him that we haven't spoken at all.

Now I am having these thoughts

- Does he think I hate him? (I kind of do)
- Was he just contacting me before to "be my friend" and help me through the breakup?
-Is he glad that we no longer speak?
-Is he dating someone else already?


I have lots of questions but I guess it's for the best.
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Old 12th April 2012, 7:07 PM   #2
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If he cared, he would contact you. He moved on. If he was contacting you to be friends, it was to help HIM get over things and move on, not to help you.
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Old 12th April 2012, 7:10 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by BewitchedandBothered View Post
If he cared, he would contact you. He moved on. If he was contacting you to be friends, it was to help HIM get over things and move on, not to help you.
OUCH!

I kinda think you are right but, I also kinda think he knows I am mad at him so, he is waiting for me to cool down so he can throw breadcrumbs again.Possible??
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Old 12th April 2012, 7:30 PM   #4
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This is going to be hard for you for quite a while.

One of the first things you need to understand is that the answer to every one of your questions is "It doesn't matter."
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Old 12th April 2012, 7:53 PM   #5
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OUCH!

I kinda think you are right but, I also kinda think he knows I am mad at him so, he is waiting for me to cool down so he can throw breadcrumbs again.Possible??
I didn't mean to sting you; I just want for you to see that it truly doesn't matter what the ex thinks; he's out of the picture. Tossing you breadcrumbs by texting you a compliment is rubbing salt in a wound. He just cares about himself. I doubt he's mad at anything at this point. It's best to heal and move on.
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Old 12th April 2012, 8:16 PM   #6
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No harm done B&B! Thanks for your input!
Thanks to you too Nohbody.I need this kind of reassurance.
I get the urge to text him, even just to argue with him but, it fades quicker with each time.
I'm like a crachead looking for my next hit! This is just as bad as a drug addiction
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Old 12th April 2012, 8:25 PM   #7
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No harm done B&B! Thanks for your input!
Thanks to you too Nohbody.I need this kind of reassurance.
I get the urge to text him, even just to argue with him but, it fades quicker with each time.
I'm like a crachead looking for my next hit! This is just as bad as a drug addiction
Yes, it is!! But remember the damage it can do to you. Suppose you call him and he gives you the cold shoulder. Also, simply by calling him, you added to his ego and took away from your own. I am glad the urge is fading. No good can come of you texting/calling. You have to start being good to yourself.
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Old 12th April 2012, 8:32 PM   #8
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Yes, it is!! But remember the damage it can do to you. Suppose you call him and he gives you the cold shoulder. Also, simply by calling him, you added to his ego and took away from your own. I am glad the urge is fading. No good can come of you texting/calling. You have to start being good to yourself.
The hard part of it is, I know he won't give me the cold shoulder.He will probably be very nice.But you are sooo right...it will feed his ego,which is something that I definitely don't want to do.I keep telling myself that I don't want to be like his other 2 ex's.They are still so in love with him years after the breakup.I want him to really miss my friendship.I'm better than that.If I can't get the whole kit & caboodle,I want him to really suffer the loss of me.
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Old 12th April 2012, 8:44 PM   #9
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If I can't get the whole kit & caboodle,I want him to really suffer the loss of me.
That's the spirit.
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Old 12th April 2012, 9:00 PM   #10
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The hard part of it is, I know he won't give me the cold shoulder.He will probably be very nice.But you are sooo right...it will feed his ego,which is something that I definitely don't want to do.I keep telling myself that I don't want to be like his other 2 ex's.They are still so in love with him years after the breakup.I want him to really miss my friendship.I'm better than that.If I can't get the whole kit & caboodle,I want him to really suffer the loss of me.
It wont feed his ego, if he cant keep you hanging around for an occasional shag. He will not miss your friendship, otherwise he wouldnt have broken up with you. He says he was hurting, he said he wanted to be friends, he wasnt hurting, he just knows what to say to keep you hanging on. So since he doesnt want everything of who you are, its not a loss for him.

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Originally Posted by dsw31 View Post
- Does he think I hate him? (I kind of do)
- Was he just contacting me before to "be my friend" and help me through the breakup?
-Is he glad that we no longer speak?
-Is he dating someone else already?

These are all easy questions, since I have been in his shoes before. Its harsh, but it will help you get over him faster.


- Does he think I hate him? He doesnt care if you hate him, when hes not interested in you romantically, he could care less. Men dont care if women hate them. I dont know why women worry about this.

- Was he just contacting me before to "be my friend" and help me through the breakup? Not to help you through the breakup, def not to be your friend, he was just curious if youre ok. But he wouldnt carry on a meaningful conversation because he knows you still want to try.
-Is he glad that we no longer speak? Yes, its easier for him when he can avoid seeing you hurt.

-Is he dating someone else already? If he doesnt have his eye on someone, then he is dating someone. On a rare occasion, he breaks it off because you drove him away.
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Old 12th April 2012, 9:18 PM   #11
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It wont feed his ego, if he cant keep you hanging around for an occasional shag. He will not miss your friendship, otherwise he wouldnt have broken up with you. He says he was hurting, he said he wanted to be friends, he wasnt hurting, he just knows what to say to keep you hanging on. So since he doesnt want everything of who you are, its not a loss for him.




These are all easy questions, since I have been in his shoes before. Its harsh, but it will help you get over him faster.


- Does he think I hate him? He doesnt care if you hate him, when hes not interested in you romantically, he could care less. Men dont care if women hate them. I dont know why women worry about this.
.
- Was he just contacting me before to "be my friend" and help me through the breakup? Not to help you through the breakup, def not to be your friend, he was just curious if youre ok. But he wouldnt carry on a meaningful conversation because he knows you still want to try.
-Is he glad that we no longer speak? Yes, its easier for him when he can avoid seeing you hurt.

-Is he dating someone else already? If he doesnt have his eye on someone, then he is dating someone. On a rare occasion, he breaks it off because you drove him away.
Hey Eddie,
I do appreciate your response but no every situation is the same.

First of all- I do not care if he thinks I hate him.I was just wondering if that's why he cooled off the calling/texting for now.

2nd-We were actually friends.He has told me a million times that he has no friends that he can tell things to except for me.

3rd-You are probably right that he is glad he doesn't have to see me hurting

4th-You are probably right that he is either eyeing someone or already dating.

You're probably not familiar with my story but here's a quick rundown...

I cheated on him in the very beginning our our relationship with a guy who was my best friend.He was always suspicious of the guy anyway & then he pretty much caught me when I did it.I denied it for about a year.He gradually distanced himself from me & started his own cheating spree.We broke up for 4 months-he called,texted,emailed constantly & we eventually started hanging out again every single day.I finally admitted that I cheated & he said he could never feel the same way about me & that all he wants to do is have sex with a ny woman he can.He told me that our relationship was broken & he said that we should try to let it grow back to be committed naturally.He felt like I was forcing him to commit & I just couldn't take it anymore because I always felt like he would cheat so I became insecure & we just could not get our **** together.We finally broke up for good but the ONE thing that I am sure of is,he will miss my friendship.


Thanks again for your insight
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Old 12th April 2012, 9:21 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Eddie Edirol View Post
It wont feed his ego, if he cant keep you hanging around for an occasional shag. He will not miss your friendship, otherwise he wouldnt have broken up with you. He says he was hurting, he said he wanted to be friends, he wasnt hurting, he just knows what to say to keep you hanging on. So since he doesnt want everything of who you are, its not a loss for him.




These are all easy questions, since I have been in his shoes before. Its harsh, but it will help you get over him faster.


- Does he think I hate him? He doesnt care if you hate him, when hes not interested in you romantically, he could care less. Men dont care if women hate them. I dont know why women worry about this.
.
- Was he just contacting me before to "be my friend" and help me through the breakup? Not to help you through the breakup, def not to be your friend, he was just curious if youre ok. But he wouldnt carry on a meaningful conversation because he knows you still want to try.
-Is he glad that we no longer speak? Yes, its easier for him when he can avoid seeing you hurt.

-Is he dating someone else already? If he doesnt have his eye on someone, then he is dating someone. On a rare occasion, he breaks it off because you drove him away.
Hey Eddie,
I do appreciate your response but not every situation is the same.

First of all- I do not care if he thinks I hate him.I was just wondering if that's why he cooled off the calling/texting for now.

2nd-We were actually friends.He has told me a million times that he has no friends that he can tell things to except for me.This is genuine

3rd-You are probably right that he is glad he doesn't have to see me hurting

4th-You are probably right that he is either eyeing someone or already dating.

You're probably not familiar with my story but here's a quick rundown...

I cheated on him in the very beginning our our relationship with a guy who was my best friend.He was always suspicious of the guy anyway & then he pretty much caught me when I did it.I denied it for about a year.He gradually distanced himself from me & started his own cheating spree.We broke up for 4 months-he called,texted,emailed constantly & we eventually started hanging out again every single day.I finally admitted that I cheated & he said he could never feel the same way about me & that all he wants to do is have sex with as many woman he can.He told me that our relationship was broken & he said that we should try to let it grow back to be committed naturally.He felt like I was forcing him to commit & I just couldn't take it anymore because I always felt like he would cheat so I became insecure & we just could not get our sh*t together.We finally broke up for good but the ONE thing that I am sure of is,he will miss my friendship.


Thanks again for your insight
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Old 12th April 2012, 9:23 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Eddie Edirol View Post


. Men dont care if women hate them. I dont know why women worry about this.

Speaking as a man, I disagree. In a big way. I know she is saying not nice things about me and is claiming she hates me, and it hurts. A lot. I care. I know I shouldn't, but I do.
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Old 13th April 2012, 12:51 AM   #14
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2nd-We were actually friends.He has told me a million times that he has no friends that he can tell things to except for me.
Is he telling you things he doesnt tell anyone else now that you two arent really talking, and he's holding your cheating over your head?
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Old 13th April 2012, 5:33 AM   #15
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Is he telling you things he doesnt tell anyone else now that you two arent really talking, and he's holding your cheating over your head?
He would be but, I cut off contact last week because it hurts me to be his friend
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