TheUnthoughtKnown Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I'm now 1 year and 4 months separated from my ex. I've been seeing someone else for a few months now and I'm quite moved on from my ex but I still think about her quite a lot. Anyways I was wondering if anyone has had a separation from their ex, had a year or so NC, and then somehow gotten back in touch, and if it turned out for the best. I often fantasize about what it'd be like if I ran into my ex again, now that I'm not really chained by those emotions that would have made any interaction with her nonconstructive and probably even worsen things. There's quite a lot I'd like to say. Since she was the one who dumped me, and I ended up losing a lot of my pride and dignity begging her to reconsider, and then the several months of depression and near alcoholism that followed, I'd like to regain some pride and dignity by showing her that my life has moved on. Is that a bad thing? A normal thing? I don't know. I don't want her back, I know that much. But I'd like for her to see that I'm not like how I was when she broke up with me. It's just a fantasy, but sometimes I really think we'll end up back in touch one day. It's quite a strange prospect to think of it, she and I talking again, and I have a feeling it wouldn't really work out after going a full year NC, especially since we left it on really bad terms. But still....I'd love to her from her again. Hell, maybe we might even end up friends. That'd be pretty nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I'm nowhere near where you are, but I'm sure everything you are thinking is normal. You shared so much, of course you'd like to share how you've developed as a person... wish you the best. thanks for sharing! Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 If you're still harboring thoughts like that for an ex, being "friends" would at best be a pissing contest. Basically a who is doing better than the other sort of thing. At worse it would cause you to have feelings for her again and ruin what you got going on with the new chick. By the time you are safe to contact them, you don't want to say anything to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 If you're still harboring thoughts like that for an ex, being "friends" would at best be a pissing contest. Basically a who is doing better than the other sort of thing. At worse it would cause you to have feelings for her again and ruin what you got going on with the new chick. By the time you are safe to contact them, you don't want to say anything to them. I'd feared it would be a pissing contest. I've seen that happen before with people. And a girl I used to date when I was really young, and whom I dumped, got in touch a few years ago and she pretty much bombarded me with stories about how fantastic her life was. I'm not sure if I'd end up being like that or not. I suppose it's very possible. As to the other thing; I don't really agree. I think the only "safe" time to contact them is when you have all these things off your chest, and that can't happen unless you talk to the person. I've chatted with friends and family about it all, but it doesn't matter; it would need to be her if I was to finally put it 100% to bed. To agree that we both made mistakes, and to hear her say she was sorry for what she put me through, and to assure me that wasn't her intention. If that was to happen, then yeah. I think we could maybe move past it. Obviously we'll never be as close as we were. That's nigh on impossible. But the reality is, if she and I was stuck in a room together, hypothetically speaking, it'd be extremely awkward. And I don't want to think I could run into someone and have it be that awkward. Especially not her, since nothing could possibly have been awkward before we broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
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