Felixtheecat Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 After being broken up for about 2 1/2 weeks we've decided to do NC for about a month at least. As I was driving home tonight I started envisioning her on a date with another guy and them making out on the what used to be our couch in what used to be our apartment since she kept the apartment and I moved out. Keep in mind all of this is in my imagination. Before you knew it though I was super hurt and angry. It took me a while to calm down. I spoke to my ex's brother a week ago and he told me that all she had been doing was sleeping and crying in her bedroom while she was staying with her parents, so I know she is taking things hard and is probably not even thinking about other men. To make matters worse i'm the best man in a wedding tomorrow and I am just not feeling great about having to celebrate love in the midst of all my heart ache. I had been handling the NC for the last week well until tonight when my imagination went wild and all of a sudden i'm pissed off. Any suggestions on how to handle my imagination, or this type of scenario as a whole? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Well, you seem to have figured out that thinking like that is not good for you. Now what you have to do is make sure you start catching yourself when you start slipping into that kind of thing and put something else in your mind to lead you away. Sometimes people come to Love Shack in crisis saying that they "can't" stop repeating thought patterns like that. My advice usually is to try to understand that our minds and our feelings are matters of chemical processes and it is possible that something is less than perfect in the "tuning" of one's emotional engine. Medication now exists that helps people re-tune their chemistry so that they can exercise some ability to decide what and how they feel and not just feel it and then be mad that they "have to" feel it. SSRI medications like Prozac can help a person with compulsive pattern thinking gain just enough of a handle to be able to choose the proportions of feelings and direct their thoughts more appropriately. I have had a lot of personal success in this myself and no one taught me what the experience would be. I've just come away from the experience with the understanding I've tried to relate. Whatever you choose, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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