9 Months on...

[MTA111]

It would be difficult to explain my situation without writing an essay, so I'll just get to the point.

 

Me and my ex broke up 9 months ago. We were together for 11 months (not a particularly long relationship) however it was very intense from the beginning.

 

She broke up with me after finding emails from other girls and very shortly afterwards left to go to university.

 

We have nearly been broken up for longer than we were together, however I still find myself thinking about her 24/7.

 

We haven't spoken what so ever for almost 6 months and I am 100% certain that I will never hear from her again. I deleted all means of contacting her after we broke up, and deleted her from my facebook, which I am proud to say I've never checked once in the whole time we've been apart.

 

The pain has turned to a dull ache, but it is very tiring, being plagued guilt and regret, especially after such a long period of time.

 

I found out just last week that she has just started seeing someone else, which although initially gave me that sick feeling in my stomach, I pretty much expected it and it didn't make me feel any worse, or make me think about her anymore than I already do.

 

Since we've broken up, I've taken my life back, I go out alot, go to the gym 3-4 times a week and generally speaking have a very quality of life.

 

However nothing I do can fill the void that I've felt since we split.

 

I really don't know what else I can do and unfortunately I don't really have anyone in my life that I can really vent about this sort of thing to.

 

I accept all the mistakes I made in this relationship and clearly am fully aware of the consequences that await, should I be stupid enough to repeat them.

 

However, I do feel at this point that I should have moved on much further than I have. She is obviously 100% over me, hence the new guy, but I still can't even really imagine myself with somebody else.

 

To be honest I'm not really sure what I expect anyone to say, as clearly I'm just venting.....I feel a little bit better having just written this down, as I've probably kept this bottled up for alot longer than I should have.

 

Anyone else in a similar situation? Where do you feel you're at 6 months plus down the line?

[fresh8]

My ex tried to break up with me because of something as trivial as me still being tagged in the same picture as a girl she really hated. And this was like 7-8 months into our relationship. She got jealous but I reasoned with her and pretty much said it was ridiculous she would break up over that. She later laughed at herself. So it leads me to wonder why your ex broke up with you over emails unless you were cheating on her.

 

Well man, I can tell you that after 2-3 months, I often lay wide awake at night wondering if I will ever fill this 'void' in my life (like you have explained). I have everything I dreamed of with my current job that I got with one year left of my degree. I've also made so many new friends and reconnected with lots of old ones. My family is well and healthy - but still, I feel like my life is lacking because I don't have her.

 

It's silly but I wish I was still where I was last year. Degree in limbo, no real job but I still had her. I mean, we were going to grow up together eventually but when we were together - it was awesome. Anywho... I can relate to what you feel and am scared that when I am at your stage: 6 months... I am going to still be feeling this way.

 

Chin up man. Hope you get through this.