Ninja Extrordinaire Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 Hi All, I need some opinons on what to do... I wrote for advice a couple of months ago in this fourm "Goin Crazy". This does include the same ex-gf I spoke of in that thread. Here's what's going on. I broke up with my ex a few months ago. For awhile after that it was pretty hard for me to concentrate on anything, she was the only thing I thought about for about a month after the break up. Things now are bearable though, I don't think of her as much as I did, and im just trying to do my own thing. We still talk, but not that much (once or twice a week) and as of right now I haven't seen her in close to a month. The thing is when we DO hang out, she is always making advances at me (which I deny) but I know that IF I was to reciprocate, she wouldn't want to do anything. So that right there makes it hard to hang out with her. Another thing is that she said to me that she wants me to be a part of her life, since I was a big part of it for 2 years. What baffles me though is if she thinks so highly of me, Then why is it when she wants to make plans with me and tell me to call her, and when I do, she doesn't pick up or she calls back late enough that there is no point in doing anything. Or she constantly picks up and says can I call you back, and then never does. The more this happens the more I am starting to......dislike her. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm playing into her game, Im not calling her back 23425 times just to talk to her, if she doesn't call me back...I just don't call. Then I get a phone call 4 days later asking if Im mad. I don't know what she is trying to accomplish, if anything, but all I know is that It's just pissing me off. A part of me just wants to tell her I don't want to have anything to do with her for now and maybe sometime in the future we could be friends....but at the same time..this girl still has most of my heart with her. So when she does things like this it just makes me feel more insignificant. I feel fine when we don't talk or see eachother though. Some opinons would help as to what she is trying to do? Thanks for your time Ninja Link to post Share on other sites
mattdad Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 Be careful, man. This woman sounds like a complete control freak, and totally manipulative. A question - why are you still seeing her? Are there children involved? If not, why haven't made a complete break and gotten on with your life? Or, as Dr. Phil would ask, what's in it for you? My last relationship died a slow death over the last five or six months, and I was fool enough to hang around for whatever table scraps of affection she was willing to give me. I compromised my integrity and self-respect for something not worth the pain - don't make the same mistake... Cut loose and get on with your life!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 Hi ninja why havent you asked her what shes doing? are you actually starting to dislike her or do you wish you were? shes not behaving consistently, she says she'll call back & doesnt, she doesnt seem like she is treating you with a great deal of thought so i would be tempted to say she is using you to get over her own feelings, which mean as she is obviously confused, her actions are confusing to you. if you were over her, it wouldnt matter what response you get if you asked her why she is doing this, but as you arent, you have to think of yourself here, and thinking of yourself may mean doing nothing until you know what you do want to do. the best thing for you would probably be to ask her not to call anymore. if she was treating you as a respectful friend, then i would say develop your friendship, but shes not, so its not a friendship, its prolonging your feelings for her until she doesnt have a use for you in her life anymore, or until you dont for her. and thats no good for you is it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ninja Extrordinaire Posted October 25, 2003 Author Share Posted October 25, 2003 Thanks for the opinons guys. I know I have to cut off all ties to her. I knew that already even when I wrote this thread. I know we're not going to get back together, and it would be pointless anyways because I'll be moving to another Province next summer. Actually the more she does these futile "things", I do start to feel a dislike for her. So, I was begining to drift away (not call her, not see her). I guess I'll try to talk to her, and tell her if she Does want a relationship as friends that she either starts treating me with same respect as her other friends, or not to bother me anymore until she can. Don't get me wrong, I am moving on. Im starting to date around and see other people, so I am leaving my options open. Thx again guys Peace Link to post Share on other sites
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