People are making trouble and not sure if I should tell my ex

[ladeedee]

My ex is a member of a fraternity and there a few guys that he doesn't get along with. I didn't like them either when I met them and disliked them more when I heard what my ex told me about them.

 

So I went out Friday to happy hour at the bar with my friend. I saw that bunch that my ex and I don't like. I couldn't help but keep looking over at them and they kept looking at me too. Two of them are HUGE jerks. I honestly wasn't sure if they remembered me and I was also keeping an eye out for my ex. So after a while, some guy comes up and talks to me. He says, "Hi I'm xxxx, I'm pledging for [the frat]" I talked to him as normal, as if my ex wasn't a member of the frat. Then he said the guys he was with asked him to come talk to me and he didn't know why. I told him I knew those guys sent him the moment he said he was pledging for the frat.

 

I continued talking to him anyway for about 20 minutes just to prove a point to those *********s who are trying to make trouble. The kid was actually really nice and he was embarrassed once he knew what those guys had set him up to do. I told him it was okay and it's not his fault. He told me I was really cool and had pleasant conversation. I got his phone number and a drink too! lol.

 

It really pisses me off that these jerk-offs expected some sort of reaction from me. I just acted happy and normal. Did they expect me to start bawling?

 

I wondered whether I should contact my ex and tell him what these guys were trying to do. I still kind of wonder. My ex would be very unhappy if he knew that those guys were trying to start **** for me. My ex and I have been respectful of each others space and we have maintained NC for almost 40 days. All his friends are nice to me as I am to them. Just those few guys really are trouble making.

 

Should I just leave it? Should I tell him? Or should I even wait to tell him when I see him down the line? It's inevitable anyway.

[ladeedee]

Yeah a few hours later not telling him would probably be best. It would only open up another door.

 

It still sucks that those guys did that though. Who knew people could be so immature.

[ladeedee]

Also his greek son has been contacting me more since we broke up... I got back on facebook and he sent me a message asking me what I was doing this weekend? These two are close...

 

I saw a thumbnail of his fb profile through a mutual friend and he's wearing a jacket I got him??

 

Is it just coincidence? what is going on! I'm almost done with school then I can leave for the summer! ahh

[ladeedee]

I posted almost 2 days ago and I never get any help?

[Fufu]

Just maintain your NC. I don't see why you must break NC to contact him.

 

And also, exes using the gifts we gave them doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean they use the stuffs we give them mean they want to be with us again. This is separate entity.

[ladeedee]

Go figure. I saw him today. We talked for almost 10 minutes. He was flirting with me and acted like we never dated before... as if we were doing a fresh start thing.

 

I wasn't having it. I remembered everything and I had a couple of insults that came his way. I couldn't really help it... it just kind of came out. He seemed a little taken aback that I wasn't falling for his BS. He was trying to tell me the sort of things he was up to.. all the good things he's doing and accomplishments. I was like.. "Cool!" I didn't really care. I haven't cared about what he's doing for such a long time. The info he was giving me was just... unimportant.

 

I was there to carry equipment and one of my guy friends showed up finally who was going to help. He said "You could've asked me to help you," and also that if I ever need anything that I should just let him know. I just said, "Ok," with an okay hand symbol and rolled my eyes a little bit... I didn't mean to roll my eyes, it just happened. I just kept thinking, "I don't need you to do anything for me anymore." It must've come across. I wiped a smile off his face a couple times during our convo.

 

He even brought up a time where I was "mad at him." He was doing work for someone and wasn't getting paid, so at the time I pointed out that maybe he should get paid. He said he IS getting paid now so "nahhh" and made a face to tease me? I was like... dude please stop flirting with me.

 

So after some time, I got up and left when my friend came by to help. I just said "Later!" He watched me walk away from him and I felt like he wanted to talk more. Too bad.

 

It was a good experience. It wasn't that bad. I was pretty much fired up when I talked to him. Phew! I'm proud of myself though.

Edited May 4, 2011 by ladeedee
extra info

[ladeedee]

After all this.. I don't know how I stayed with him so long. After today, my patience wore thin with him within a few minutes. I don't know how managed to be so patient with him. I'm so glad it's over....

[Fufu]

Sometimes we will come to the stage, "I don't even know why I was with this person."

 

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better. Look forward and move on with your life

 

I too hope this is the last time you talk to him, when you are emotionally ready and get over this relationship, whether to talk to him or not, it's up to you. But definitely not now right now.

[ladeedee]

When I talked to him, he was acting so immaturely. I felt offended when he brought up a time when I got mad at him. I was offended when he didn't remember what I wanted to do after college. "You wanna write don't you?" I was offended that he had to tell me things about himself that I of course knew about him. It annoyed me. We dated for such a long time and we've only been broken up 2 months.

 

What's up with this clean-slate sh*t he's was attempting to do with me?

 

I sure am tired though. Mostly why I'm in a grumpy mood right now. I don't plan on talking to him again until I come back to school. It's what I want.

 

God....