Rosa Tamora Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Contacting your ex is kinda like a bad greasy cheeseburger: sounds like a good idea at first, but then after the deed is done you regret it! ok, background story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t275099/ We still have to keep in contact because I live in his condo still, he has moved out and everytime I leave for the night I let him know he can come home and feed the cats etc. I keep my emails solely on condo stuff. And then he emails me and asks how I'm doing? And that he still cares about me and just wants to know I'm ok. Omg. Can I just say, it makes it harder for me to move on when he says that. First it's apathy towards the relationship, then he still cares about me. I kept a stiff upper lip at first but then caved today when I woke up Sunday morning, all alone, and missed him and....texted him. I told him that I still cared about him, but I'm just doing what I feel is right, right now. Argh! Shortly after I hit "send" i regretted it. I didn't beg or plead for him to get back but I still feel lousy for responding to him. I can't wait to stop feeling awful about this!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosa Tamora Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 Well, actually weekends are the worst. I wake up and eat breakfast alone. I feel so damn isolated. ew to this city and know a few people, but not that many. So I feel like I'msorta on self support. I'm sure in a few month I will feel better about this, but right now time is just CRAWLING. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 It may be a good idea to plan ahead for the weekends so you're sure to be busy. Busy=less time to ruminate. Early this week, start thinking about what you can do this coming Saturday and Sunday that will take you out of the house. Art festival? MeetUp? A music class perhaps? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosa Tamora Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 I know, you're right. I think I should start those yoga classes I've been eyeing. Whenever Friday rolls around I think "oh no. what do I do this weekend?" But yeah, I'll start lining up activities to do for this coming Saturday and Sunday. I want to be so busy I can't have time to think! *deep breath Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Don't be too hard on yourself : ) I broke NC like 3 times before I really really stick on to FULL NC for real. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Don't be too hard on yourself : ) I broke NC like 3 times before I really really stick on to FULL NC for real. Me too Fufu. I broke it for 2 months! *smh* Yoga sounds like a great idea Rosa! You get the mind AND body benefit! Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I haven't broken NC yet, but I think if I saw her now I would freeze. I wouldn't even know what to do or say. I am going somewhere in a month where I know she will be, there are going to be a few thousand people there so I really hope that I don't run into her. I think I would totally lose it. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Me too Fufu. I broke it for 2 months! *smh* Good thing is we are in NC now. That's all it matters Link to post Share on other sites
Moutonrose Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 my 7 year relantionship ended 2 months ago...he decided to end it after he decided it was too hard to deal with me and my illness...anyways...last week he just sent me one email about ending our joint account and at the end he asked just this''are you doing okay? I am worried about you'' this was enough to set me off and spiral me down into a depressive state....its normal for you to feel bad cause all of sudden HE cares....in a way you dont want them to care and let you live your life. if it can help you out. let him know after your personal stuff is cleared to stop emailing you for info. Link to post Share on other sites
welikeincrowds Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 As far as "losing dignity" goes, I'd say that's a pretty mature and dignified text. You have a goal not to contact him, so to you it feels like a moment of weakness, but you should know that the actual content of the text, to me, shows resolve and strength of character. Not that there's any good in analyzing texts. We've all broken NC before, because we've had to or otherwise! It's okay, because you're going to get right back on that horse! Link to post Share on other sites
dressing up Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Rosa Tamora, I hope you feel better already. I haven't broken NC nor decided what to do but applaud you for letting it out. You're being true to yourself. Now think of that weekend plan. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosa Tamora Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 figured if I want to vent i can do that by hurling balls at people! Or have balls flying at my face! Say hello to my new social life..Hahaha THANKS everyone for the support! I still miss him but am resolved to stick to this. Last week he wrote and said that it was hard to see me and: "i'm sorry i've hurt you. i still care about you and think you're a wonderful person and i want you to be happy so maybe down the road we can talk again" Talk about WHAT?? Sheesh! I know he was conflicted about his decision at first but all the things he said pushed me away: "I don't know if I can make you happy" "We still argue and even though things have gotten better and easier to resolve, I can't feel like I want to try anymore" "It would be easy to fall back into the relationship with you again and there are times we get on just great, but when we argue it's too much work" "I'm sure there is someone better out there for you and I" He also has the G.I.G.S. i guess. It's like he forgot how special everything was when we were together. Sure there is always someone better out there, but that's not the point of commitment is it? And, if things have improved and it's so easy to have fun with me again, why did he let go? Does he sound a little confused? When he broke up with me he brought up all the silly little things we argued about, which I thought was already resolved a long time ago. He picked at the semantics of those arguments. I'm confused because I thought it was resolved. Perhaps in his head he was still upset about it. He never told me though. I secretly hope he might find that the grass isn't that green out there. But, whatever. JON: Agree. I think if I saw him now I would freeze and probably unleash a flood of tears. That is why he had to move out and I'm avoiding physical contact like the plague! DRESSING UP: Thanks, I do feel abit better today. I have gone 2 days now NC, will keep trucking along. I've deleted him off Facebook, moved all his emails into a folder where I won't see it, and will be booking a trip to the NJ/ NY to visit my aunt there. It is true, NC helps heal. I know there will be days I wake up and cry into my cereal (pathetic i know!) but I will stick to my resolve. Link to post Share on other sites
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