bslchump Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I have NO IDEA why I just looked at both of their facebooks. I feel awful. Just absolutely spot-on horrible. I just want to curl up and die now. Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 There should be a law banning dumpers/dumpee's from using their Facebook accounts for a minimum 5 years... In fact, there should be a law against Facebook full stop. ****ing web site. Link to post Share on other sites
TryTryAgain Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Facebook and I don't get along too well. I made my first contact with my ex via Facebook before she even knew who I was. It was actually really great at the time that we ended up falling in love, and it technically started on Facebook. Fast-forward to my breakup...Facebook became evil. I initially hid her from my news feed only to fully delete her later (she may have deleted me, I don't remember). Anyhow, I pretty much refuse to use facebook anymore. It has caused me so much pain. Oh, and I stopped using MySpace about 4 years ago because of a girl too. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I logged onto facebook this morning and was immediately given two vivid reminders of why I will NEVER look at my exes' page: - In my newsfeed was the item: L_______ is now engaged to C________. A platonic friend I have no feelings for, but I can imagine just how crushed I would be to see that about my ex. - Some girl from my past showed up in my People You May Know feature. A lot of her profile was private, but I was able to discern she's married with a kid now. We fooled around a few years ago, I have no feelings for her either, but I would not dare want to log onto my exes' page in a couple of years and see the exact same wedding photos and family pictures with a husband and infant child. I figure it will take 3-4 years for all emotions for my ex to subside. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bslchump Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 I just feel like I'm back to square 1. I now want to call her and talk to her and ask WHY and all that other crap. Seeing lovey-dovey messages between her and someone else when I'm still pretty in love with her makes me feel horrid. This is destroying my entire day. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I just feel like I'm back to square 1. I now want to call her and talk to her and ask WHY and all that other crap. Seeing lovey-dovey messages between her and someone else when I'm still pretty in love with her makes me feel horrid. This is destroying my entire day. NC - that means you don't contact her, you don't go to places where you think you stand a good chance of running into her, and you don't seek out information online or through others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bslchump Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 NC - that means you don't contact her, you don't go to places where you think you stand a good chance of running into her, and you don't seek out information online or through others. Yeah I know. I've only been able to be LC lately, but she came over today and before I knew it, I was looking at her facebook. Apparently I'm the sort of guy that needs to be shocked 50 times before I learn not to jam a screwdriver into an electrical socket. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bslchump Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Not only that, but I almost just did it again! I went to facebook and felt the urge to search for her again. I came here instead, thinking reading my post would make me think twice. It did. Thank god. Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 You, my friend need to deactivate your facebook completely. I was like you a month ago, then I deactivated my fb and have felt much better since. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Only just deleted my ex on Monday and haven't been tempted to look yet, but I know that temptation will come. Hopefully I'll not do it as I know it will only lead to more hurt. Before FB when a relationship ended, that was it. Going nc was easier because you had no contact with them. Now it's laid out all over the internet and so easy to see. I too think FB should have an option for people coming out of relationships, where you can select who you've split up with - then it just stops that person from ever popping up. Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Only just deleted my ex on Monday and haven't been tempted to look yet, but I know that temptation will come. Hopefully I'll not do it as I know it will only lead to more hurt. Before FB when a relationship ended, that was it. Going nc was easier because you had no contact with them. Now it's laid out all over the internet and so easy to see. I too think FB should have an option for people coming out of relationships, where you can select who you've split up with - then it just stops that person from ever popping up. There is an option. If youve already defriended them, just block them as well amd any posts, comments on other people profiles by them wont be visible to you. You cant search for them either I believe. Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 My question is why the hell even have a facebook? If someone is that important that you need to keep in constant contact get their number. Facebook is just a door into finding "friends" which ultimately ends up with everyone cheating on everyone. Thanks but I'll pass. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I setup FB just for business reasons - was great for that, but I'm not one for all this 'today I went shopping' or 'I'm having eggs for tea' rubbish that people post. If I've already deleted her, how do I block her? I'm guessing I'd have to find her first... which may lead to at least one pic coming up and the temptation to look at more! Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Account > Privacy Settings > Block List Search by name or email address, select, block. End of. Facebook, as a tool to connect with people who make you happy, is great. If connecting with someone makes you unhappy, stop connecting with them. Or just make yourself unhappy by connecting with them. It is really your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Thanks, will give that a go. Deleted her on Monday and have felt okay about it all. I guess FB was the final piece of contact between us. She can still contact me via phone, but I can ignore that (easier when it's not visual). Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I have the same type of problem. I can't stop myself from typing in her twitter account when I'm bored at work. It's all jokes or complaining so it's not like I'm seeing her with another guy, but it sucks because it reminds me how great of a connection I had with her and how it's gone to nothing now. I made her block me on facebook and deleted her few friends I had on my list so at least that's not a problem anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Nebula Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I've had that problem. First I deleted both the guy and the new girlfriend, then I blocked them. I started feeling better and unblocked them... still ok, but I kept snooping. Some things bugged me, not too much but just the fact that I was still paying attention was no good. He kept trying to talk to me for really stupid things L_L or asking how I was. I replied short and to the point, but eventually since he kept popping up I told him to stop in a friendly way (again), because I was feeling ok, but still knew I was vulnerable. We ended up fighting :S (it was stupid I know, I should have just ignored him), and that REALLY set me back. He told me things I didn't want to hear. I had him blocked off all the chat services I use except this work application that doesn't have the option. That's where he kept popping up. (Luckily we work from home most of the time so I barely have to see him). The privacy level of the girl was low, so I could see her wall and pics, not his though. But it was worst seeing what he had to say. Good thing is he's always been very private, and even though apparently he's in love with her (he was never really in love with me L_L) they've kept a low profile. There's still videos and even inside jokes and songs that WE HAD TOGETHER that he's now making them theirs! And it's inevitable that at some point there WILL be pictures or corny messages that I just can't deal with. So I've blocked them again and I'm sticking to it. I don't think he'll talk to me again after the last time but if for some reason he does I'll just ignore him. It's rather silly, it makes a HUGE difference to just not know anything. Ignorance is bliss. I'm actually very disappointed at myself that although I was getting better I got overconfident and got dragged down and have to start over again, sometimes I even feel worse than before! So just to echo everyone's advice, go NC and avoid FB! Link to post Share on other sites
Denillad Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I too did the Facebook no-no. My ex isn't on face book but his girlfriend is. When we last spoke I told him I saw her on Facebook. He laughed n denied she was on Facebook. My only consolation is she has nothing on me but it really hurt to see them in intimate pictures together. Now they are imprint in my head. I saw her on his brothers friends list and she blocked not long after. He n I used to correspond on other online sites but she hacked his accounts n blocked me. I'm in nc now and I just blocked his family feeds so I don't see anything and I am stayin nc on all levels. I know it hurts so make them out of site n mind as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bslchump Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 It really hurts thinking i'll never talk to her again. I spent so much of my life with her that now I have to just act like it never happened? I mean, dont get me wrong, I feel like the stuff she did and is doing makes her not entitled to be my friend. She doesn't deserve it. But it still hurts sometimes having to delete her from my life. I keep having moments where I go "oh, X would really like that" and i have to stop myself from texting her. Here's hoping it gets easier. Link to post Share on other sites
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