Complicated situation, don't understand it :(

[Ro91]

I was with my bf for just over 3 years, but over the last year of our relationship we lost the 'spark', and my sex drive disappeared for no apparent reason (which he couldn't cope with). We were both upset, but ended our relationship 2 months ago, and agreed to remain friends as we broke up because we were more like friends than partners, so it made sense.

 

He has always been the one who pursues me, and he continued to do this after we split. Whenever we met up he would kiss me/hug me/tell me how much he still liked me etc, and then 2 weeks ago we slept together. He then asked if we were definitely over, and i said that i thought it would be best if we didn't get back together, even though i would love to. I let him do this even though i knew it wasnt helping me, because i thought it would help him if he could gradually get over it rather having an instant cut off from me physically.

 

After we slept together, he avoided me for 2 weeks (not seeming bothered about seeing me and not texting me back etc.). I got annoyed and frustrated and called him, and he said we needed to talk. He told me that he has been seeing someone for the last week or so (which means this started just after we slept together), and that he didn't think i would be bothered as we split 2 months ago. He said that he thought we were just 2 single people having fun since then.

 

I feel devastated and shocked, as it came without any warning, and i don't understand how he so quickly went from being all over me, and being upset about the split, to seeing someone else?! It feels like there was no gap between me and her, even though it has been 2 months since we officially split. It seems like a rebound to me (like he's trying to prove something), but I can't understand why he would do it He obviously isn't over me as he said he still he thinks about me and would be upset if i started seeing someone else. I also don't get how he can claim we were 'just two singles having fun' when we were acting couply still and actually only slept together once after the split?

 

What should i do? Carry on trying to establish a friendship (we have both said we would like to still be friends), which has been made 10 times more complicated by adding this other person into the mix? Or do i ignore him? If he hadn't started seeing this other person, it would be so much easier. We didn't really have time to sort out how to be friends properly, and now it's so much harder because of this. I'm so confused and hurt, especially as i know that he's not over me but has still gone and done this, which he knows has hurt me deeply ...

 

 

Sorry for the essay. It's just so confusing and complicated.