Xewkija Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 I hope this is the right place to post because it's kinda of a coping situation. But here's the deal, we are together right now and she told me she wants her independence and to be able to be with me cause she loves me and she loves being with me, when we took a break she told me that she liked having that independence she had without me but she also couldn't stand being without me. So, is it completely possible to have her have independence and me at the same time? She makes it sound complicated I would figure why not just have some "me" time instead of saying it like that. This is just recent that she has been acting this way and wanting her "own" time which she should have and so should I, but the way she makes it out it sounds like she wants to be by her self a lot. She did admit that it's nice to have her own time to play online with her friend that she had a thing for but claims their just friends now. I really don't know what to make of it. It's completely mixed signals when she tells me she wants her independence and then she says it's hard cause I want to be with you all the time. So how do I cope with this? What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 She wants "her time and space"? I've heard that before. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 Do you live together? Do you smother her? Sounds like she wants to shop around for a new bf while having you as a backup. She will never admit to this, so all you can do is back off of her MORE than she wants to back off of you. make her earn her time with you, You should be too busy to hang with her at all. if you want to be her backup, this is the way to do it. It will flip the script because then you will see her on your terms and not hers. You will make her want to see you. But to be honest, it sounds like she is on her way out, so you have to make her miss you. Less talk on the phone, less personal time with you altogether. Make her think that you dont need her. If she really wants out of the relationship, she wont care. if she is iffy about you, this will bring her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xewkija Posted March 8, 2011 Author Share Posted March 8, 2011 We don't live together but we see each other a lot, but the thing is she wanted a break and i gave her the break and with NC and she came back to me. The break was about a month ago she praises how she wants to be with me and love me but she says she wishes I was more open minded Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Your relationship will end very soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xewkija Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 But why is it when I ask her and tell her I'm done with your games I'm not gonna hop on your emotional rollercoaster and I told her this relationship is going to move forward if we don't change and she says she wants to be with me, if she wanted to already she could go out with plenty of guys or cheat on me but I know for a fact she doesn't cheat on me Link to post Share on other sites
screwball Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I agree, she will leave you very soon. Best course of action would be to break up with her now. Rejecting people only makes them want you more. So I say, do a preemptive breakup and the outcome will be one of two things: 1. she begs for you to take her back and now you won't hear her talk of independence. 2. she'll be gone for good (but she would have done that anyway) If you're a Seinfeld fan, there is an episode about this... Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Im telling you, a break is a cowards way of initiating a break up. She is dating another guy right now and wants to keep you as a backup. Its a classic tactic. If it isnt another guy, she just doesnt want to be around you. Beat her to the punch, break up with her now. You might be surprized at how she might want to change. Link to post Share on other sites
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