Lots of small things, anything or nothing?

[turn_the_page]

Firstly I dont need people to tell me that NC is the route etc etc, I'm dealing with things in my own way.

 

Lots of things are causing me to want to ask questions to my ex... they are as follows...

 

- She still wants to hang out when I play it cool and dont constantly ask her... going out and doing fun things, but also afterwards coming over to mine to watch a movie just the two of us.

 

- Talks about another friend of ours who broke up recently and stated that they lost all chance of getting back together when they kissed other people and told each other. Is there any need to tell me that? Surely thats her opinion and not actually the case between the two people?!

 

- When we do hang out she is normal, have loads of fun, then when she comes to leave she always asks to be hugged, then doesnt let go for a while....

 

- I stupidly asked her for NSA sex to which she refused saying she was offended that I thought she would do that, but then shortly after started laughing about the situation and was totally fine, then met me the next day!

 

- Talking about another friend who broke up saying that she is stupid for wanting him back after he broke up with her twice for the same reason... I said that I understand where she is coming from, then my ex stated that they broke up twice so it cant work again?! Implying that breaking up once could work?!

 

Is there anything in all of this? I just keep thinking that surely if she wanted to be without me like she said when breaking up, why be so ok with the whole situation of hanging out?

[turn_the_page]

anybody?....

[brokendreamz]

Sounds like she's messed up. I'd ask her outright, **** the rules - ask her what's going on and then make a decision on what you're going to do about it after.

 

Defo stop second guessing and if she gives you some lame ass answer cut her off!

 

Good luck - come back and let us know what gives?

[Beeotch]

Well being a veteran of a relationship that ended 2 years ago where the ex and I still met up and where we wouldn't speak for months and he'd get new gfs and then break up with them and still come back....I do have some experience to share:

 

I am completely over him 1. and I actually came back on here to read my old posts and see how far I've come and just how time sure does change your perspective and heals.

 

 

When you break up, you usually do not hate the person and there is still attachment which leads to people still having sex, still hanging out, still acting like a couple and all this gray area that usually leads to hurt. Been through it all. The truth is, someone rejecting a relationship doesn't mean they're rejecting you. That means: no matter how much you like/love someone, sometimes the relationship is just not going to work out or is not meant to be....but that doesn't take away from attraction or caring and so this is why exes often stick around (chemistry is a big thing, which is also why people even get in some relationships doomed from the start because of chemistry)....it sadly doesn't mean that things will work out in the end. It is completely normal though and usually happens...and happened to me as well, and 2 years later I can see it for what it was; a normal process where you don't want to let go although you need to so you still kind of hang out or you miss the person and get together and esp if you don't hate them you want to be around them and "be friends"...but really, it is usually impossible to do that without some time apart so it usually leads to confusion and hurt.

 

Not telling you to do NC....as everyone goes through their own journey and either choose it for themselves or situations force it. But that is why it is advocated, to kind of cut out some of that hanging out and stuff that usually leads nowhere except building up your hopes for something that doesn't usually work out in the end.

Edited March 7, 2011 by Beeotch