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Tired of running into her. Tired of her messages.


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

 
 
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Old 16th September 2010, 4:16 PM   #1
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Tired of running into her. Tired of her messages.

Hey all, I have a problem with running into my ex. And her messaging me every so often so far.

My background story is in the breakup section, but anyways last sunday I dropped off the last of her stuff, I felt I needed to say what I had to say because of the questions i had. I knew going in that I wasn't going to hear what I wanted. What I did hear was the rude, bitchy, horrible attitude that I don't deserve, and her using this as a defense mechanism against my questions that made her "reasons" contradict each other. She got mad, said Im going in, and I left. What it DID do, was slap me in the face and wake me up a little. I was reminded of these bad qualities which I had seen before, and realized she DOES need to work on herself before she needs to be in a relationship. She needs ALOT of work... and I can't sacrifice myself anymore.

That night she text me saying "Im sorry for getting a temper. But maybe coming wasn't a good idea... I feel like getting angry is the only way it will get through to you. I'm sorry for getting mad. I'm sorry for hurting you... Blah Blah. You just need time."

Whatever. Nonsense is Nonsense. Whether it comes out nice or angry.
I ignore it.

3 days later I get a 4 page text from her that started "I know you don't care but..." And she goes on the explain how she went to worship service at our school and explained what they were talking about, and what she realized her idol was, and that she needs to replace it with a relationship with God, and that she had turned away from temptation that very morning... And how she was proud. It ended with "Like I said, not that you care... Just thought I might share."

Pisses me off. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about her claims of accomplishment. There's no reason to tell me that except to brag, and if that's the case... you're not doing it for the right reasons anyway.
I ignore it.

Today, I leave class and see her about 30 yards away, as I look over my shoulder. I was jogging to the garage, never made eye contact and never said anything. Later, after my second class I leave and she had seen me AGAIN...and a few moments later she texts me...

"Is it bad that whenever I see you on campus, I think "oh he's cute" then I realize it's you. Lol. I can't stop laughing. Nice Shades BTW."

Damnit! WHY?!
I ignore it.

But I don't know if I can take this for very long. I run into her everywhere... and If she keeps texting me these trivial things I don't know what to do.

I really don't feel TOO bad right now. Although I go through every emotion possible within a day... Sad, missing her, upset, then pissed off, then feeling OK, then feeling like this isn't a bad thing (very briefly), then feeling not much of anything, then repeat. Right now... I feel like I'm kind of in LIMBO. Like it hasn't COMPLETELY hit me yet. And I don't know how much longer I will stay like this if I keep running into her... and she contacts me...

Last edited by bighearted; 16th September 2010 at 4:21 PM..
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Old 16th September 2010, 4:44 PM   #2
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This is when you need a really good friend to corner her, tell her to leave you the phekk alone, stop contacting you and get out of your life.

"You ended this, you wanted to finish it, and you slam-dunked him when he brought your stuff round.
What the hell is your game? He wants you to leave him alone, and disappear out of his life. That would be the best thing you could do for him.

Got that??"
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Old 16th September 2010, 4:50 PM   #3
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I feel for you...the thought of having to see my awful ex around campus in a couple weeks after 4 months of NC and a new g/f on his part, literally keeps me awake at night. Cut her off, seriously. She seems to get a kick out of contacting you and saying trivial, random bull**** that is clearly irrelevant to you. The fact that she feels the need to do it should be enough reason for you to wanna cut her off, take away her supply of you so you yourself can start moving on.
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Old 17th September 2010, 4:29 PM   #4
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Cut her off how?

I run into her, and every so often she texts me these things. I don't text her, but these messages mess with me. Should I just continue to ignore everything she says? And hopefully she stops? Seeing her around is what really gets to me...

And if I run into her every so often and we share some words I feel like I can't do anything to take away her "supply of me."
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Old 17th September 2010, 4:33 PM   #5
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Try this text..."You are dead to me...and unlike in the movie, I don't see, or talk to dead people.." That should get her to go away. Then stick to it. Don't text back, pretend she is invisible when you see her.
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Old 17th September 2010, 6:01 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bighearted View Post
Hey all, I have a problem with running into my ex. And her messaging me every so often so far.

My background story is in the breakup section, but anyways last sunday I dropped off the last of her stuff, I felt I needed to say what I had to say because of the questions i had. I knew going in that I wasn't going to hear what I wanted. What I did hear was the rude, bitchy, horrible attitude that I don't deserve, and her using this as a defense mechanism against my questions that made her "reasons" contradict each other. She got mad, said Im going in, and I left. What it DID do, was slap me in the face and wake me up a little. I was reminded of these bad qualities which I had seen before, and realized she DOES need to work on herself before she needs to be in a relationship. She needs ALOT of work... and I can't sacrifice myself anymore.

That night she text me saying "Im sorry for getting a temper. But maybe coming wasn't a good idea... I feel like getting angry is the only way it will get through to you. I'm sorry for getting mad. I'm sorry for hurting you... Blah Blah. You just need time."

Whatever. Nonsense is Nonsense. Whether it comes out nice or angry.
I ignore it.

3 days later I get a 4 page text from her that started "I know you don't care but..." And she goes on the explain how she went to worship service at our school and explained what they were talking about, and what she realized her idol was, and that she needs to replace it with a relationship with God, and that she had turned away from temptation that very morning... And how she was proud. It ended with "Like I said, not that you care... Just thought I might share."

Pisses me off. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about her claims of accomplishment. There's no reason to tell me that except to brag, and if that's the case... you're not doing it for the right reasons anyway.
I ignore it.

Today, I leave class and see her about 30 yards away, as I look over my shoulder. I was jogging to the garage, never made eye contact and never said anything. Later, after my second class I leave and she had seen me AGAIN...and a few moments later she texts me...

"Is it bad that whenever I see you on campus, I think "oh he's cute" then I realize it's you. Lol. I can't stop laughing. Nice Shades BTW."

Damnit! WHY?!
I ignore it.

But I don't know if I can take this for very long. I run into her everywhere... and If she keeps texting me these trivial things I don't know what to do.

I really don't feel TOO bad right now. Although I go through every emotion possible within a day... Sad, missing her, upset, then pissed off, then feeling OK, then feeling like this isn't a bad thing (very briefly), then feeling not much of anything, then repeat. Right now... I feel like I'm kind of in LIMBO. Like it hasn't COMPLETELY hit me yet. And I don't know how much longer I will stay like this if I keep running into her... and she contacts me...


I have the exact same issue man. It drives me crazy, we have classes in the same building at the same time so I have to see her going in and coming out 3 days out of the week. She used try to make small talk but this week I flat out ignored her when she tried to approach me and I haven't talked to her since then. She texts me every time she sees me about trivial bs acting like she didn't break my heart and like she isn't involved with another guy.
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Old 17th September 2010, 7:53 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bighearted View Post
Cut her off how?

I run into her, and every so often she texts me these things. I don't text her, but these messages mess with me. Should I just continue to ignore everything she says? And hopefully she stops? Seeing her around is what really gets to me...

And if I run into her every so often and we share some words I feel like I can't do anything to take away her "supply of me."
Change your number. Okay, a little drastic and an unconvenience to you...at best, at least block her number. I don't think ignoring her is doing much atm; well done for not texting back but i know it must still hurt even hearing from her. I can imagine it must get to you and you might read into a simple text or think about it longer than needed while she could be on the other end thinking "hmmm...i'm bored, let me just text my ex and see what he's doing.." sorry if that's harsh but maybe thinking the worst of your ex might help.

And if you see her - seeing as I guess you're already on talking terms and ignoring her now might seem a little petty, but literally just wave, say hi if you need to and just carry on walking.....keep that supply as minimal as you can, you need to look out for yourself here.
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Old 17th September 2010, 7:55 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by benB View Post
I have the exact same issue man. It drives me crazy, we have classes in the same building at the same time so I have to see her going in and coming out 3 days out of the week. She used try to make small talk but this week I flat out ignored her when she tried to approach me and I haven't talked to her since then. She texts me every time she sees me about trivial bs acting like she didn't break my heart and like she isn't involved with another guy.
PS. I frickin' HATE the 'OW/M!'
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Old 18th September 2010, 12:46 AM   #9
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Tell her it's over and for her not to get ANY hopes up that you two are going to get back together.

Make sure she understands from now on, you won't be reading any emails or texts/messages etc, from her because you need to be in no contact mode with her. Suggest that she talk to a friend to help her through it and to stop contacting you. You be the bigger person here since she can't. Tell her you're sorry, that you don't want to hurt her or make it worse, but to please respect your decision to leave you alone.

Women like closure, I'm sure you know this already.
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Old 18th September 2010, 1:18 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
Tell her it's over and for her not to get ANY hopes up that you two are going to get back together.

Make sure she understands from now on, you won't be reading any emails or texts/messages etc, from her because you need to be in no contact mode with her. Suggest that she talk to a friend to help her through it and to stop contacting you. You be the bigger person here since she can't. Tell her you're sorry, that you don't want to hurt her or make it worse, but to please respect your decision to leave you alone.

Women like closure, I'm sure you know this already.
Just to make it clear... I'm the dumpee not the dumper. I'm the one that wanted to be together, that misses her, that thinks about her all day everyday, and im in alot of pain. I just think that her doing this and me having to see her often is going to prolong it... and I don't want that to be the case.
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Old 19th September 2010, 4:15 AM   #11
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Tonight she text me "******(my name), do you hate me?".
I ignored it.

2 hours later she said "I guess that is a yes then."
I ignored it.

... What is going through this girls mind?!

No, I don't hate her. I love her. I'm the one that wishes I was with her. Misses her. Yes, I am upset she left me. I don't understand why she left me. I am upset at how she has acted at certain times. But no... I don't hate her. I loved her. And I still do.

I don't know what to do...
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Old 19th September 2010, 4:40 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bighearted View Post
Tonight she text me "******(my name), do you hate me?".
I ignored it.

2 hours later she said "I guess that is a yes then."
I ignored it.

... What is going through this girls mind?!
She wants approval for her actions. She doesn't want to be the "bad girl" who hurt you so much. She wants you not to hate her because if you do, then it would be all her fault and she would feel bad.
She wants to keep you hanging on the line as a friend. She wants to know that she can still depend on you emotionally when she needs something, then discard you like a used teabag when she is done.
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Old 19th September 2010, 2:35 PM   #13
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****ing girls...
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Old 19th September 2010, 2:44 PM   #14
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So, just let her keep on believing whatever she wants? Let her believe that I do hate her, and let her live with her guilt? (This girl doesn't feel much remorse at all.)
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Old 19th September 2010, 5:06 PM   #15
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You don't like what I suggested? I told a guy who dumped me (yrs ago), when he kept trying to pop back in with crumbs that he was dead to me, and totally ignored him like I was looking right through him, and it drove him to the brink trying to get my attention back.
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