bestrong Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 HELLO World!!! This is my first post and I hope it won't be too long to read. I need advice and support.. I met my ex when I was studying abroad. It was a love at first sight (well.. it's one way only) and it took me half a year to finally had the courage to facebook her and try to be friends. It was tough to build a friendship that way but things went well and we became good friends. She was in a relationship at that time so I was planning to hide my feelings and since I had to go back to my home country, it's just better to remain friends. She broke up with her ex and somehoe we got together after her roomates pointed out the chemistry between us ( I tried to deny but she kept asking me and sometimes shw would text me " so how much do you love me" ) It was great to be with her and we were talking about our future and I was planning to go back for her in a few years. Sadly, I had to go back to my home country for family resposibilities and when I was back home, my soul was still in US. She broke up with me 2 weeks afterwards saying the feeling couldnt' go further and that she liked me, but she couldn't love me. At first she would tell me she missed me and stuff, but all of a sudden she wanted me to move on and stop liking her. Then of cause she suggested NC and stuff. I finally decided to go NC after talking to her on my birthday. She asked me a buch of what ifs. Like "what if I like you, what would you do?", " what if I just like you a little and what if there is someone i love?" "will you let me go if i love that person" I thought I was ok until I answered the questions. It hurt like a b! She told me she is in love with someone and I told her as long as she is happy, I will be happy for her but I asked her not to ask those questions next time if she was meant to make me move on. Then she said "this is what I hate about you and you relationship. You let people you love walk over you! With me, you are just going to get hurt thday in US time. Second, why asked me all those questions when she knew it's just going to hurt me? I uninstalled aim after telling her not to take me for granted and "i gave you the power to hurt me, trusting that you are not going to do it". It has been a month of NC and 10 months since we broke up, my heart is still aching and I still love her. what should I do? P.S. I am not mad at her, I just don't understand why she did that... sigh Link to post Share on other sites
edgeofdarkness Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 becos she could. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestrong Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 Why would she even want to hurt me when she is seeing someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
BiAxident Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 There are many possibilities. Perhaps, she did not want to hurt you? Maybe she didn't care if she hurted you, she just felt like getting the ego boost that came from toying with your emotions? Possibly, she did want to hurt you, and she's simply evil? What you should do is forget about her. Seriously, it would be one thing to stick your neck out and take a chance if she were leading you on, but it doesnt sound like she is. I wouldn't even consider moving to another country to persue someone you can't trust! Link to post Share on other sites
HopeLove Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 She probably wanted to feel loved. That doesn't mean she loves you. Try hard to move on. Be strong! Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Bestrong, this woman is dangerous. She cares more about her ego than your feelings. That's not love and if she ever did love you she would NEVER say to you that she was in love with someone else. I know this situation all too well. TWO WEEKS after my ex fiance and I broke up she turned around and told me that she was engaged again. Of course it was false, but man did it just burn me to the core. She told you that you let people walk all over you and there may be some partial truth to that. But SHE is going to be the one who makes you change your course, who makes you better yourself. Because your life is BETTER OFF without her in it. That emptiness you feel from the breakup can only be filled by you through understanding what happened and realizing that no one should EVER be able to treat you the way she did. You know that. So the question is, what are you going to do to get past this and become happy on your own? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestrong Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 Bestrong, this woman is dangerous. She cares more about her ego than your feelings. That's not love and if she ever did love you she would NEVER say to you that she was in love with someone else. I know this situation all too well. TWO WEEKS after my ex fiance and I broke up she turned around and told me that she was engaged again. Of course it was false, but man did it just burn me to the core. She told you that you let people walk all over you and there may be some partial truth to that. But SHE is going to be the one who makes you change your course, who makes you better yourself. Because your life is BETTER OFF without her in it. That emptiness you feel from the breakup can only be filled by you through understanding what happened and realizing that no one should EVER be able to treat you the way she did. You know that. So the question is, what are you going to do to get past this and become happy on your own? She was partially right, I let her did whatever she wanted to simply because I love her. I know my life would b better off without her, but I have always been thinking about going to visiting her a few years later when I am no longer a push over in her heart and see if the feeling will still be there. When we first got together, she already said she didn't love me, but maybe she could learn to love me. Link to post Share on other sites
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