Laid off -- did it cause your breakup?

[Chitowngirl]

So things started getting ugly between me and my ex when I got laid off. I eventually became depressed, hopeless, resentful and confused about my future. I needed a lot of help to fix myself, so when we started fighting I was too drained to care. I wanted out because I couldn't even handle myself. I just couldn't deal with it all. I felt INSANE.

I look back and wish I had a better career. I wish I made $45-55k like all my friends in their late 20s do. I have a bachelors and was making $38k when I got laid off. I felt like a loser in life. Now,I've discovered my passion and am going back to school for my masters. Unfortunately it will take me almost 4 yrs to complete this. So I won't be set in a new career until I'm early 30s. I am incredibly happy I am excited about my future, but think, "what if I had had this career while dating him..would things have been different?" Anyone else think that?

Has anyone ever felt if they had a better job, that they'd have easier, less stressful relationships?

[USMCHokie]

I would like to think it was one of the primary contributing factors to my last breakup...and not me...

 

My ex had already been out of work for a few months when we started dating...and during the time we dated, she didn't have much luck finding a job...she claims that it really stressed her out and put her in a position where she wasn't ready for a serious relationship (even though we were planning to get married...) where she didn't even know where she was headed in life...

 

In hindsight, I agree with her...it wasn't the right time...she wasn't where she wanted to be in her career and in her life, so I guess it just wasn't the right time to add someone else to that life...and I respect her for that, I guess...

 

But I do still miss her a hell of a lot...and yes, I still think about it...whether we'd still be together if she had her career and life where she wanted it...

[Chitowngirl]

Ah...yes I can totally relate to your ex and I do believe her. I was engaged for 3 months and then got laid off. After that my desire to get married went to "No way, I'm miserable with myself and life, and the last thing I want to do right now is plan a wedding when I have no money or direction in my life" Granted my ex had a great job he loved and didn't understand where I was coming from since he was paying for everything and just wanted me to plan it and show up. But it was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to be happy with myself first.

This is a reason I don't have a desire to date as I don't want my lack of career or money to be a factor in another relationship.

Is your ex just waiting for another job or is she going back to school or what?

 

 

 

I would like to think it was one of the primary contributing factors to my last breakup...and not me...

 

My ex had already been out of work for a few months when we started dating...and during the time we dated, she didn't have much luck finding a job...she claims that it really stressed her out and put her in a position where she wasn't ready for a serious relationship (even though we were planning to get married...) where she didn't even know where she was headed in life...

 

In hindsight, I agree with her...it wasn't the right time...she wasn't where she wanted to be in her career and in her life, so I guess it just wasn't the right time to add someone else to that life...and I respect her for that, I guess...

 

But I do still miss her a hell of a lot...and yes, I still think about it...whether we'd still be together if she had her career and life where she wanted it...

[GrayClouds]

So I won't be set in a new career until I'm early 30s. I am incredibly happy I am excited about my future, but think, "what if I had had this career while dating him..would things have been different?" Anyone else think that?

Has anyone ever felt if they had a better job, that they'd have easier, less stressful relationships?

 

What if the Saints wins the superbowl today? What if it is windy i Chicago today? What if your EX gets a pimple on his butt? Will any these things effect your future? No, so your really not focusing on them just as you should not be focusing on your ex now either. It does not matter.

 

Any thought process your having about the past should be:

 

"Thank god I got lead off otherwise I still be working a job that I really do not care for with no real direction for my life while being in a realtionship with someone who runs when things gets tuff. Being lead off sucks but considering how hard life can get, it is good to know I will not be counting on this looser say if I get really ill... or worst. Who would guess how lucky I am."

 

 

 

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[USMCHokie]

Ah...yes I can totally relate to your ex and I do believe her. I was engaged for 3 months and then got laid off. After that my desire to get married went to "No way, I'm miserable with myself and life, and the last thing I want to do right now is plan a wedding when I have no money or direction in my life" Granted my ex had a great job he loved and didn't understand where I was coming from since he was paying for everything and just wanted me to plan it and show up. But it was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to be happy with myself first.

This is a reason I don't have a desire to date as I don't want my lack of career or money to be a factor in another relationship.

Is your ex just waiting for another job or is she going back to school or what?

 

 

For a while after the breakup, I truly believed that she was sincere in what she said and still did love me and want to be with me...but as time went on and after my time in LS, I gradually realized that she was just like every other girl and used that as an excuse to leave...that she wanted better...but I don't know...

 

She was planning on going back for her masters, but she didn't want to take on the added debt...so she decided not to go...she's been applying for jobs for the last year and a half after she was laid off...I don't know what she's doing now...probably still living at home and without work...but it's been a bit over 4 months since I've had any contact with her...I really do hope that she's found something...