im losin patience

[glynevansv1]

hiya everbody.......

 

i have just got dumped by my fiancee bout 2 months ago i thought we were really good but she didnt love me anymore,

 

 

its been 2 months of hell cause of the broken heart and having 2 move back in wit my parents telling me stuff that i didnt want 2 know like we told u so.

 

had everyone laughing at me cause i was really happy showing off the ring then this happend i have tryed 2 do myself in twice since one really serious.

 

its my birthday on the 18th of june of time of writing this 3 days away i really thought i would have someone on my birthday 4 the first time ever but no.

 

i have been really trying 2 find someone elce since 2 stop myself getting lonely and even more deppresed and have found a couple of people since really nice people but they have politelly told me 2 f*** off.

 

any ideas what i can do 2 help im losin patience thanx

[Jamie31]

You can't rush love. I didn't quite understand, but I thought you said you have been engaged twice? That's one time too many. It sounds to me like you are trying to hard to find someone and to find love. You can't rush something like that. It happens when it happens. And usually it happens when you aren't looking for it. When you least expect it. If you try to rush it you will end up settling for less than what you want and you will be unhappy. Try to focus on other things - hobbies, interests, friends. And forget about looking so hard for love. It will come when the time is right. Just be patient. The best things are worth waiting for.

 

Hope I have helped.

[midori]

Originally posted by Nurse_Jamie

You can't rush love. I didn't quite understand, but I thought you said you have been engaged twice?

 

I think he said he has tried to harm himself or commit suicide twice.

 

And if so that's a serious problem and you most certainly need to seek professional counseling. Far more is needed than what anyone on this message board can provide. You may be suffering from depression.

 

I agree that love can't be rushed. From what I read, it sounds like you were with your ex for less than a year (since you were looking forward to having someone to spend your birthday with, for the first time ever). If so, getting engaged was perhaps a bit hasty.

 

It does sound like you ought to see a counselor or a therapist. You're either surrounded by some very cruel people (friends and family laughing at you because you were excited to be engaged but then got dumped?), or you are quite unrealistic about your expectations for love and relationships, to the point where others can't help but find you ludicrous. Even if it's the latter I would think that your friends & family could have a bit of compassion for your pain. Sheesh. Still, there seems to be a disconnect between your mindset and how other people (including your ex) see things. You might want to explore that a bit.

 

You can get through this. It'll just take time, and you probably need some help. Especially if you have attempted to hurt yourself.

[glynevansv1]

thanx everybody im feeling a little better just the big question do i want another relationship after the hell im going through.

 

 

the only things that is keeping me in this world is 3 things my 2 really good mates, my music (im a dj),and my cat (dont laugh).

 

what makes this all worse when she started going out with me i was 26 stone and in the year i was with her i got down to 13 stone 3 pounds and looking much better for my self and then get my heart stamped and smashed then put back in my body and the rebuilding of it is like lego piece by piece.

 

And she keeps contacting me hurting me more.

 

And i found out that she is engaged to someone else, was it wrong for me to go out with her and am i stupid of what im doing e.g crying and just walking round like a zombie. thanx everybody please reply.

[PurpleAngel]

You need to work through the pain and heal BUT “walking round like a zombie” like you say is not going to help you heal. I know its hard, TRUST me I know. BUT you must take control of your life and live for YOU! The most important thing in your life at the moment is healing. Don’t deviate from that.

 

I think wait a little while before you get into another relationship, take a breather to asses the situation, and understand what you learnt form that experience, heal and then MOVE ON. My suggestion is to get some friends that are girls around…. But the word there is FRIENDS!, This will allow you to exchange that female energy and go on some ‘un’dates! They’re much less stressful than real dates and you have heaps of fun!

 

If you allow her to keep contacting you while you are still feeling like this you are not going to get over this. You must ask her for some space. Trust me it will help the healing process accelerate. Every time you heal one part of your heart it breaks again as soon as you hear her voice right? Yes well you cannot do this to yourself any longer. Don’t be a glutton for punishment. I know its hard to ask her not to contact you, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Does this make sense?

 

Don’t let yourself go, keep looking after yourself and looking good. What an achievement to lose all that weight. I always say ‘Live to be an asset, not a liability’

 

Concentrate your energies on you at the moment.. don’t think about being lonely, read some books, go to the movies, run, laugh, go out with friends, try to see that life is beautiful and believe that YOU will find love again!

 

I don’t know if any of this has helped, cos I know how hard breakups are BUT please keep positive, and remember tomorrow is a new day!

 

Good Luck

[glynevansv1]

thanx for replying purpleangel.

 

yes what u said has made sence and everything u said is true that everytime i hear her voice and see her face 2 face yes it breaks my heart all over again.

 

i can keep the phone calls away but seeing her i cant where i work she goes through everday so i cant miss her and she is normally with her new piece of ****.

 

im trying so hard 2 get on with my life but its so hard because of all the little things she used 2 do i miss and sleeping back on my own is very hard.

 

im thinking off moving away from london because everything i do around here makes me think off what could off been and everywhere i go we went out together so that makes me feel down again. But is that just running away from my problems or being grown up im only 20 and i dont need all the stress of her over and over.

 

i must admit that i look 100 times better than i ever did and im getting looks all the time but no one ever comes up and says anything. And even if they did i dont think i would have much confidence 2 do anything anymore or its not fair on them that i can never trust them. please reply back

[haoxin]

Purp Angel always give good advices

( i guess he went through sadness and now is tough )

 

glynevansv1 , you must be strong too ! Your ex- is over with her bad feeling and sadness now she is having fun with another guy ! You should stand up and be a man ! She is the one who dump you , its her fault . Don't want her back ! She is bad !

I think* she is just being with the guy for the sake of hurting you and making herself feel better . Maybe she still love you maybe she don't . Anyway what do you mean "she keeps contacting me hurting me more " . You mean she calls you and tell you bout her new guy and everything how happy she is ? If she does that she is a ****ing bitch ! Hate her .. but that is not a good thing . Have the evil thought and slowly realese it . You would feel better . If she calls just to have chat with you . It means she is currently on the process to forget bout you too ! Hit her back with this chance .. if she call be sweet and nice to her for a few times BUT NEVER EVER MAKE UP ! TRUST ME YOU WILL HURT YOURSELF !

then after a few days if she call just ignore the call be out with your friends ! Don't pick that call ! Make her miss you !

 

When you see her at work .. just give her a happy and sudden sad smile . Walk away and continue with your work . Live on ! She isn't the best there is so much more cute / pretty / sweet / nice girls out there ! Remember she isn't the only one ! I can see that you still like her ! Forget bout it don't think bout her at all . Go have fun on the beach or fishing somewhere ! Don't drink and drug abuse ! Its nothing worth it . Time heal . But within the time you have to find something to do to heal yourself . Reading books is good too ! Keep your mind busy . After sometime you will feel happy again !

 

You 've been hurt and can't trust anyone easily anymore . Don't go on any relationship now . Just hang around with girls flirting with them . If you want yourself to be happy go get a cute puppy to play with . Remember be strong ! After sometime you will heal and be happy again like ever ! thinking back why are you so silly crying and hunger for her . You don't need to change your job . It isn't easy to get one . Keep to in . No matter what don't make up with her again if you do MAKE SURE YOUR PLAYING . She may be trying to find a guy just to hurt you . Be strong fight back !

[glynevansv1]

she hasent contacted me for a while and im missing it now i can never make my mind up lol!!!!

[glynevansv1]

im getting there though i do want someone else though but the trust needs 2 be there

[Gray]

My cat helped me thru a breakup once. He was my boy and I treat him like a king now, because its the least I can do in return for what he did for me. Nothing weird about loving your pets.