Over one year since the breakup was with 2 girls since. Still not ready for real rela

[health]

Over one year since the breakup was with 2 girls since. Still not ready for real relationship.

 

Things are okay but sometimes I just get struck with these negative thoughts about my ex. I met a girl recently and we slept with each other several times. Now she's backing away cause I talked about my ex alot.

 

I still feel numb. I don't even want a relationship now.

 

I'm scared cause I feel like I blew my ex up in my mind. We were together for almost 6 years.

 

I haven't talked to her for over 8 months.

 

Part of me wants to look at our pictures and videos again - but I won't. Haven't since feb 2009. And don't want to be the one looking at them a year later while she's with someone else. I don't want to throw them away just yet and I did put them all away and out of reach.

 

I know these feelings are my responsibility. I have faith I will find someone who loves me as much as I love them and is commited.

 

I will take care of myself and keep moving forward.

[deux ex machina]

...Part of me wants to look at our pictures and videos again - but I won't. Haven't since feb 2009. And don't want to be the one looking at them a year later while she's with someone else. I don't want to throw them away just yet and I did put them all away and out of reach.

 

The part of you that wants to look at the pictures and the videos is the part of you that doesn't want to let go. Yet.

 

I know these feelings are my responsibility. I have faith I will find someone who loves me as much as I love them and is commited.

 

I will take care of myself and keep moving forward.

 

You will have to free yourself of the attachment you still have to your ex, because as you well know it is disasterous to any new relationship you may have - also, I am sure it affects other areas.

 

NC can work wonders, but sometimes that's not all we need. Sometimes, you have to do some digging to figure out why there is a part of you that does not want to let go. It is possible - likely, actually - that in the end, this may have very little to do with her as a person, how special you may think she is, ect...but more to do with you, and what's going on with you.

 

Please do take care of you, so you can move forward.

Let 2010 be the year you can do this.

[pureveritas]

yeah...the pictures and videos are like asking for a match and some gasoline...

avoid them if you can.

 

keep on keeping on...

[bluestraps]

Ive got a memory box also. I would put that thing away where you will forget where it is . I had done this like last year and I forgot all about it. And then this year we broke up. This must have been some relationship you were in.

 

I had a particulary nasty breakup, a few mos back a I feel like i am half way back to where I was before we met 10 years ago .

 

You may need to just become more positive about what you have now and just date and not force yourself. But If you do find someonelse you really get along with , go for it.

[health]

The part of you that wants to look at the pictures and the videos is the part of you that doesn't want to let go. Yet.

 

 

 

You will have to free yourself of the attachment you still have to your ex, because as you well know it is disasterous to any new relationship you may have - also, I am sure it affects other areas.

 

NC can work wonders, but sometimes that's not all we need. Sometimes, you have to do some digging to figure out why there is a part of you that does not want to let go. It is possible - likely, actually - that in the end, this may have very little to do with her as a person, how special you may think she is, ect...but more to do with you, and what's going on with you.

 

Please do take care of you, so you can move forward.

Let 2010 be the year you can do this.

 

deux ex machina, thank you. I take responsibility for my part in this. Also in my part of letting go. I have been over 8 months no contact now.

They say the relationships after a major one are transition ones.

 

I know not to bring up exes in the future. I just want these thoughts to stop popping in my head so intensely at times. Generally I am doing well. The goal is to haver her 100% out of my head. She kept calling trying to saty in my life. Part of me feels like picking up next time she calls. Part of me does not.

I wish her the best. I wish myself the best. Love, and progress. Thank you again deux ex machina.

[health]

yeah...the pictures and videos are like asking for a match and some gasoline...

avoid them if you can.

 

keep on keeping on...

 

pureveritas, thanks. I will avoid them. I don't to be like my friends friend who kept a photo of his ex in his work drawer a year later and stared at it.

 

I will move forward. Thank you!

[health]

Ive got a memory box also. I would put that thing away where you will forget where it is . I had done this like last year and I forgot all about it. And then this year we broke up. This must have been some relationship you were in.

 

I had a particulary nasty breakup, a few mos back a I feel like i am half way back to where I was before we met 10 years ago .

 

You may need to just become more positive about what you have now and just date and not force yourself. But If you do find someonelse you really get along with , go for it.

 

Thank you bluestraps. What happened with your 10 year one? Yes. I will be more casual and set the tone as going slow. I don't want to break any girls hearts. I don't want to have sex fast with girls who want more either. It's just not right to me. I am happy I met several new girls this year. I put myself out there and met a handful of girls that are now on my facebook. I have been with 2 this year in other ways. I am proud of this - cause It proved I can get more girls. The right one, is a different story. I will find her one day.

[deux ex machina]

deux ex machina, thank you. I take responsibility for my part in this. Also in my part of letting go. I have been over 8 months no contact now.

They say the relationships after a major one are transition ones.

 

I know not to bring up exes in the future. I just want these thoughts to stop popping in my head so intensely at times. Generally I am doing well. The goal is to haver her 100% out of my head. She kept calling trying to saty in my life. Part of me feels like picking up next time she calls. Part of me does not.

I wish her the best. I wish myself the best. Love, and progress. Thank you again deux ex machina.

 

You can do this, and I just know you will. *hugs*

[HeavenOrHell]

I don't think we can get an ex 100% out of our heads, that wouldn't be realistic if they were so important to us! But to just be able to look back and not feel affected by the break up anymore would be good!

[lostboyuk]

Do think you're right heavenorhell, I know I'll never completely get her 100% out of my head for sure. How could you if you had something that was good and although you may find even better in the future it will never be a like for like replacement. This leads me to my latest revelation today that if it's like that for us and together at some point it was good, they will never forget you or be able to replace the things only you shared either. I find this both deeply sorrowful but also calming to know I made my place in my lady's heart.

[HeavenOrHell]

Some of my friends agree when I say it will be hard for both me and my ex to find others we click with so well and are totally ourselves with, I feel neither of us will be ourselves totally like that with anyone else, I could be wrong of course.

No, they could never be replaced, some people say maybe I'll find something as good or better (not sure about that) but different.

It's just I wanted to grow old with him, I don't want someone different, you know?

 

 

Do think you're right heavenorhell, I know I'll never completely get her 100% out of my head for sure. How could you if you had something that was good and although you may find even better in the future it will never be a like for like replacement. This leads me to my latest revelation today that if it's like that for us and together at some point it was good, they will never forget you or be able to replace the things only you shared either. I find this both deeply sorrowful but also calming to know I made my place in my lady's heart.

[lostboyuk]

Some of my friends agree when I say it will be hard for both me and my ex to find others we click with so well and are totally ourselves with, I feel neither of us will be ourselves totally like that with anyone else, I could be wrong of course.

No, they could never be replaced, some people say maybe I'll find something as good or better (not sure about that) but different.

It's just I wanted to grow old with him, I don't want someone different, you know?

 

I do know what you mean, there's a song a stumbled across recently by 'the script' called 'I'm Yours', some of the words say "and somehow growing old feels fine". You just know it didn't matter if you had no plans for that evening or weekend because you had your partner to share all time with. It's not so much about being lonely, just that comfort to relax knowing everything was going to be ok.

 

Loads of hugs....