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"need time to find myself" = someone else?


McGrupp

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i need my hopes crushed right now.

 

last time i talked to the ex before the last time (a lil drunk here) she said she needed time to find herself.

 

this was 1.5 months post breakup

 

then the other night i asked her if she was in a relaionship and she said no.

 

but...um...

 

she didnt leave me for anyone.

 

can i assume the worst?

 

does it matter? = no

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i want to go up there and see. i want to knock on her door and see someone else in my bed. i want it all to come crashing down.

 

and feel the bottom

 

thats what i want. i want to feel the ***cing bottom and picture her when she sees me crushed and knows im dying inside and doesnt feel sorry but even more like she made the right choice

 

i want to embarass myself and become that pyscho and really ****ing devulge and destroy all my self worth and hit the bottom again. and the bottle and all this will make me so ****ing bitter that any woman meet again will suffer

 

and then when i finally realize wha i did i can laugh and cry a little but is she with someone else and why does that eat me up inside?

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dude whether she is with someone else is irrelevant because either way she is not with you. you need to pick your balls up off the floor and get yourself together and not contact her or see her ever again.

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oh man. but seriously thats why i come her. i feel down. bam. pick me up.

 

ls i love thee.

Edited by McGrupp
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Need time to find myself can mean...

 

a - she left for someone else

b - there isn't "someone" else, but she wants to date other people, i.e., multiple someone elses, either real or anticipated

c- she just doesn't want to be with you

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want that ****ing door slammed on my face as i hold some roses and preferably were some sort of bow tie.

 

but i ****ing love the pain. it keeps me skinny

 

dude, you're funny

 

x

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Everytime you get in this state of mind you are going to have to have a tool to get you out. A friend, an exercise, an activity.....

 

This is that pattern of thought that you need to break. Break it with new thoughts, new activities.

 

You know that saying "ask and you shall receive"? Well, in the same way you can "act, and you will be".

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my ex told me the same thing, she said she needed time for herself, and that maybe later we could get back, but then this friday she said we could never get back together because "her parents got really mad at me", and idk if its true or if she only said it so i could leave her alone

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