Nikki Sahagin Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Me and my ex have recently been in touch via emails. He emailed me out of the blue saying how hurt he was and how difficult things were. I responded, we talked things through, and I finally got the closure I needed (if a person can ever truly have closure, i'm a demanding type, I always have more questions that need answers!). Anyway the last note he left it on, was, so are we friends? And all I could respond was that if you couldn't give your 100% in a relationship, then 25% or less in a friendship is not enough, and if we ever were to be friends, it wouldn't be in 'months time' as he is expecting, but far into the future most likely. For those that have remained friends with exes, is it truly a friendship? Like a meet up regularly, confide your problems etc friendship or is it that vague definition of friendship, where you catch up once every couple of years? I mean really, how is friendship with your ex even possible? TRUE friendship, that wont just lead you back into a relationship. By the way, I am not interested in his friendship at the moment. I just wondered for future reference...though i'm pretty sure that though I care for him as a person and friend, I wont be able to fulfill the friend role again. Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I have 1 that is a good friend. We dated for 3 years and broke up a few years ago. Although I say we are just friends, we act like we are dating when we occasionally hang out and neither of us ever mentions anybody else that we have dated. Link to post Share on other sites
Gottabestrong Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I am friends with 2 exes I had serious, long-term relationships with. Both friendships only developed years after the breakup when we both had moved on to other people. While I call both my friends, they are not friends I talk about my relationships with, more like friends I catch up with twice or so per year and update on what is going on in my life. I am glad we are still friends because I truly loved them at some point in my life and I hate losing people from my life that I really care about. But no matter what, there is always this knowledge/memory of what we used to be, which prevents us from truly being just friends, if you know what I mean. It is weird, but I would not want to miss them from my life, even though it took me a long time to get to a place where I am okay with the fact that they are in committed relationships with other people. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigCow Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I'm wondering the same thing as you Nikki. I don't have experience with this but I do have friends who are very good friends with their ex's, as in hang out often, even with new SO's around. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Being friends with someone you're not completely over, is just moving backwards. Don't do it. I've always liked my exes as people, therefore, tend to keep them as friends but not close friends. Getting too close can be dangerous, if the physical attraction is still there. Right now, I'm in contact with four exes who treat me well. The minute they stop doing so, is the minute our friendship ends, the same bar I maintain for all my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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