I feel like throwing my self out the freaking window!!!

[Not the love ace]

Well,

 

Even though the title suggest I do, of course I really don't. However I am highly exasperated.

 

Since losing my ex-girlfriend she has had two different boyfriends already. One boy she went out with two weeks after we broke up, and was with him for about a month. It was more of a quick rebound. Then while she was with him, a week before they broke up she got with another guy she known for only a few weeks. She told me her friends chose the guy for her.

 

I tried going NC and did until she gave me an E-mail and ring. Then that's when she told me all the information. I am annoyed because these are the same people who told her I was no good for her. I just feel like she's influenced by them too much.

 

Anyhow that I don't care for too much, what bothers me is that she tells me she loves me and that she really cares about me to pieces, however she also tells me she is with her new BF and that she is really in love with him, cares about him, and see's a future with him (like engagement marriage etc).

 

I get so annoyed because I truly do love her and my feelings for her won't just fly away anytime soon, I know that much. I have gone on NC again, but I for the past month and few days I just can't get her out of my head. She was really more than a girlfriend to me she was my best friend. Me and her shared so many things in common and had the same passion for art, and much more. We had our own inside jokes and we were attached-to-the-hip when we were together.

 

When we were together I knew she loved me and I loved her just as much. However, now that we're not together, of course I just feel like she's throwing everything out the window and trying to erase me from her life, though she does still contact-me.

 

She apologized for how she hurt me and apologized for all the mess that went on.

 

I do want her back in my life but I just sometimes feel hopeless. I just don't want to lose her because I know I'm not going to find a girl like her for a long time, if ever. She was the only girl I can say I was truly in love with. I never been in love like this before. I want her back and I'm hoping that one day we will see each other and sometime down the road be with each other again.

 

I know this isn't a unique problem, and everyone is just going to tell me to move on, and I want to. I just don't know how. Everything I do, everywhere I go, I constantly have her on my mind, more so than ever. I tried hanging out with friends, meditating, exercising, writing, reading coping books, everything but the feeling and the thoughts won't go away.

 

Its like not only does she have a new BF but she has a lot of friends to go with it so she has comfort. Where areas I have a limited number of true friends whom I don't get to see everyday.

 

For the past two Fridays I've been home bummed over her with no energy to do anything. I've been a little less social, been feeling like a total loser, I feel broken down and stomped on, and its been a month and a week already and I need it to go away.

 

I tried to put hateful thoughts in my head, so that way I can program myself to hate her, but that doesn't help and I don't want to deny my feelings.

 

Do you think she's trying to cope by being with someone soon in the past 3 months? Or what?

 

What the hell should I do because I feel like its been over taking my life. I feel like I've lost her for eternity and that I'll never have her in my life again.

 

Plain and simply I want and need to get over this. I'm not suicidal or anything but it really has taken control of me.

 

Any advice would help, thank you.

[Surfer Dude]

You should go date other women, find some projects, go earn more money etc. Anything that will keep you positive. Unfortunately, it's not possible to just instantly put an end to this pain (we've all been through this), but I can promise you it gets easier with time.

 

You will care less and less every day, if you do NC for as long as it takes for you to heal.

 

Of course, there will always be bad days, even many months later, and you will sometimes really miss that person's presence in your life. But you have to deal with it. Keeping yourself occupied with dating and work would be beneficial for you at this point. And once again, go NC - you will heal regardless, but this is by far the easiest and fastest way.

[Not the love ace]

Yeah, I feel like the biggest loser thinking about her everyday. I feel embarrassed and defeated. It just kills me...sigh....life goes on.

 

What does it mean though if she says she still loves me, and has feelings for me? Yet she doesn't want to date me? Do you think she's trying other people?

[Surfer Dude]

What does it mean though if she says she still loves me, and has feelings for me? Yet she doesn't want to date me? Do you think she's trying other people?

 

Women say this kind of thing all the time, and usually their words have very little meaning. Observe her actions, not words. She's in her twenties, I assume? Women of that age are fickle, live in the moment, say one thing and five minutes later do the opposite. Don't try to analyze her actions, it's completely irrational.

 

In my opinion, she's trying to keep you hooked with crumbs of attention till she needs you for emotional support and validation, to be her crying shoulder or even a booty call when she breaks up with her boyfriends. She might not be doing it consciously, but it's certainly the case here.

 

The reasons she's not hurting is because women have MASSIVE support groups and social circles to rely on. While you are alone at home, pining and trying to survive through this, she has her bunch of friends (who validated her feeling that you're not good for her), she has family, boyfriends and rebounds she can get any time she wants etc... It's so much easier to get through the pain if you have people jumping around you all the time and opposite sex contending for your attention. Without all this, she'd probably be in even worse condition than you, but her rich social life and rebounds are like painkillers.

 

I say, go out and date women, seriously. And go total NC and don't talk to this chick. You said you're afraid you'll never meet anyone like her... well bro, that's a pretty stupid sentiment, there are 3 billion women in this world, of which 1 billion is probably in your dating range. There is ALWAYS someone better. For every woman you know, there are 100 out there that are even better. If your ex was such a high quality person, she wouldn't have done what she did. Go NC and don't look back. I can promise you that it will get easier, especially if you start dating immediately.