Trying to prepare for when she dates someone else

[4by4]

Hi guys,

 

Some of you know my story. I recently broke up with my ex of 4 years and have had a mixed experience of ups and downs since going NC. We mutually agreed friendship wasn't going to work. So I am not in contact with her anymore, I also tell myself not to be curious about her life and restrain myself from checking up on her facebook/blog etc.

 

Guess I'm pretty happy where I am, I'm getting used to the idea our time together is over and she won't ever come back, somehow I am starting to feel OK about that.

 

The only time I get some wierd emotions is thinking she could be with someone else, sharing the same intimacy and love we once had in our relationship with someone new.

 

I know I have to prepare myself NOW because she will date another guy, and it probably will happen before I can fully say I am ready to accept it.

 

Of course there are many people on LS who were not only dumped but also watched their ex move on very quickly and date someone else. So my question is, if you are beginning to feel good about yourself again after a break up and things are going well (meaning you are definitely getting over them), what else can you do to prepare for the news your ex is in love again with their new partner?

 

Can anyone share their experiences or give some advice?

[kmeier]

Hey, you could be like me and she could start dating somebody else within 3 days and then tell me how much happier she is with him than me, that's fun!

 

But really, I was crushed when she told me. I guess it's better that it happened sooner than later, for me at least. Im already down in the dumps right now, I might as well take all the pain at once instead of hurting now, getting better, then getting crushed again.

 

But whatever happens, you'll be ok. The more over her you are, the better you will take it. Its definitely gonna sting like hell, trust me, but you'll get over it, just as you seem to be getting over the whole idea that you guys just aren't gonna be together and you can just accept it.

[wowIlose]

Well the only way to prepare for it is to never know about it OR date someone new before she does. Otherwise you'll probably deal with some pain, don't worry it doesn't get much worse than what your feeling now anyway (at least it didn't for me) because in all honestly it doesn't matter if shes single, or with 10 people, the point is she still not with you whichever way. The rest is ego.

[4by4]

Thanks for the replies. I definitely agree once I am over her, no amount of her dating and screwing around will make a single bit of difference.

 

And yes keeping myself away from her is the best solution. Not knowing what she does is the best remedy and it allows me to heal much faster. I actually speak from experience.

 

In terms of dating someone before her, it would be nice to meet someone special but I don't want to put a time limit on it. I'm not in competition with her but I agree it would make things so much easier if I was already with another girl.

[EmperorR]

When I found out my ex was dating it hurt alot especially since it was a werek after she said she wanted to be alone. Hell even when she was dating I hanged onto hope for a little while longer, but then I went total NC I don't care anymore. She's someone else's problem now

[alwayssme]

Aww see that's the one thing that I'm so scared of. I was his frist serious relationship, hell first everything...and when I think of another girl having his love and attention, it hurts me alot. I just wish by then I will have moved on.