I feel shattered all over again...

[SadHeart79]

I recently found out that my ex fiance has now moved into a house with his new girlfriend and I feel shattered all over again. This is a girl who he has been with for 2 months, and already they are moving in together. I don't know why it's affecting me so much, but I have been having so many nightmares and thoughts about the two of them since I found out, I just don't know how to cope anymore. I feel so sick and horrible all the time, this is just so unfair. I keep thinking that they will be doing all the things together that we used to do, waking up in each other's arms, and it makes me feel so sick inside. I remember when I first started dating him, it took over a year before we got a place together, and with this new girl, he has taken 5 minutes to do the same thing! Is he trying to dig the knife in even further? How can he just forget our 6 years together and rush into a new relationship and get so serious so quickly??? Everyone keeps saying that sooner or later he will realise he made a huge mistake and come crawling back to me, but I'm not so sure. Everyone says this new girl is just a rebound, but if that was the case, how come they are still together? He is so happy, and I'm the one left to pick up the pieces, living a lonely life in the house we were supposed to share together, barely existing from day to day and stuggling financially because of him leaving me with everything.

 

I just don't know what to think or feel anymore. I am trying so damn hard to get on with my life and I just feel like I am falling into deeper depression every day. Who am I kidding, I'm not getting better at all. This is news that I really didn't want to know about. When I do hear from him, it's like he takes pleasure in telling me things that he knows will upset me. Then he plays mind games and tells me that who knows what might happen and where we might end up? I mean, what on earth does that mean? It just gives me false hope all the time.

 

I am not interested in dating at all, I just have no interest in men now whatsoever. The thought of falling in love and having my heart ripped out again is something I just don't want to go through again. I have no interest in doing anything apart from going to work and coming home to bed. My life is such a mess, I should not be in this position. I was the best fiance I could be and he took my heart, my self-esteem and the life I loved away from me. I have hardly any friends (he was my best friend) and my family don't understand. I can honestly say this is the worst, most horrible time of my life.

[tealeafbud]

Stay Strong SadHeart. A lot of people are going through the exact same feelings you are. A lot of people have moved on from those exact same feelings. YOu need to trust in yourself that you will move on from the relationship. I know it's difficult right now, but you need to utilize all of your friends, family, relatives, acquantances, for support. Reach out to anyone! But don't contact him, and don't let him contact you. You need strength and courage at a time like this. Reach within yourself and be strong. It's ok to grieve, but move on ultimately. good luck and stay strong.

 

Peace

[kizik]

Like tealeaf said, you have to stop contacting him, ESPECIALLY because he seems to be intentionally hurting you.

 

I am SO sorry that you are hurting. I am sure that you are BEAUTIFUL and have TONS to offer, and it just turned out this this relationship did not work out. It happens every day, to millions of people... and they (hopefully) become stronger for it. I know, that doesn't help right now.

 

Trust me, I know what you're going through. My ex used to be MINE and I used to have such pride in her, and the fact that I could trust she would be there. My world crashed and all I have is this computer and few friends.

 

Like TLB said, if you have friends, if you have family- go to them. They are going to help you get through this. In the meantime, feel free to write me at

 

[email protected]

 

and take care of yourself. Each day it will get progressively easier to wake, eat, work and then sleep.

 

Times like these are tests of our true selves, of our capacity to deal with adversity. You're going to win this one.

[kjoy82]

Just so you know sadheart.... there is someone else out there, and they are praying and looking hard to find someone who is sweet and loyal like you.....

You deserve so much more. Stay strong..... you will get through this.....

[borelandkaren]

I recently found out that my ex fiance has now moved into a house with his new girlfriend and I feel shattered all over again. This is a girl who he has been with for 2 months, and already they are moving in together. I don't know why it's affecting me so much, but I have been having so many nightmares and thoughts about the two of them since I found out, I just don't know how to cope anymore. I feel so sick and horrible all the time, this is just so unfair. I keep thinking that they will be doing all the things together that we used to do, waking up in each other's arms, and it makes me feel so sick inside. I remember when I first started dating him, it took over a year before we got a place together, and with this new girl, he has taken 5 minutes to do the same thing! Is he trying to dig the knife in even further? How can he just forget our 6 years together and rush into a new relationship and get so serious so quickly??? Everyone keeps saying that sooner or later he will realise he made a huge mistake and come crawling back to me, but I'm not so sure. Everyone says this new girl is just a rebound, but if that was the case, how come they are still together? He is so happy, and I'm the one left to pick up the pieces, living a lonely life in the house we were supposed to share together, barely existing from day to day and stuggling financially because of him leaving me with everything.

 

I just don't know what to think or feel anymore. I am trying so damn hard to get on with my life and I just feel like I am falling into deeper depression every day. Who am I kidding, I'm not getting better at all. This is news that I really didn't want to know about. When I do hear from him, it's like he takes pleasure in telling me things that he knows will upset me. Then he plays mind games and tells me that who knows what might happen and where we might end up? I mean, what on earth does that mean? It just gives me false hope all the time.

 

I am not interested in dating at all, I just have no interest in men now whatsoever. The thought of falling in love and having my heart ripped out again is something I just don't want to go through again. I have no interest in doing anything apart from going to work and coming home to bed. My life is such a mess, I should not be in this position. I was the best fiance I could be and he took my heart, my self-esteem and the life I loved away from me. I have hardly any friends (he was my best friend) and my family don't understand. I can honestly say this is the worst, most horrible time of my life.

 

Do you really want to know anything about this guy? All I saw was "mind games and who knows where we might end up." He's already being unfaithful, in my mind, to his new girl. Give it up. NC!!!

[SadHeart79]

Like tealeaf said, you have to stop contacting him, ESPECIALLY because he seems to be intentionally hurting you.

 

I am SO sorry that you are hurting. I am sure that you are BEAUTIFUL and have TONS to offer, and it just turned out this this relationship did not work out. It happens every day, to millions of people... and they (hopefully) become stronger for it. I know, that doesn't help right now.

 

Trust me, I know what you're going through. My ex used to be MINE and I used to have such pride in her, and the fact that I could trust she would be there. My world crashed and all I have is this computer and few friends.

 

Like TLB said, if you have friends, if you have family- go to them. They are going to help you get through this. In the meantime, feel free to write me at

 

[email protected]

 

and take care of yourself. Each day it will get progressively easier to wake, eat, work and then sleep.

 

Times like these are tests of our true selves, of our capacity to deal with adversity. You're going to win this one.

 

That's the thing though. I'm not the one contacting him. I've been very good with NC, I hear from him about once a week via email at work. I do not initiate any form of contact whatsoever, it's always him. I don't want to lose contact altogether, I just have to not ask questions that I know I don't really want the answers to. It's just so hard though.

[Grace112]

Sadheart, I have a similar situation to you. A couple of weeks after my ex called off the wedding, he met someone online and just a few short months afterwards, he moved in with her.

 

It took me a long time to realize that his choice to move in with her had absolutely nothing to do with me. My ex is acting on behalf of his best interests and your ex is doing the same. His choices are not a reflection of you, nor do necessarily mean that he's happier without you. Sorry to sound harsh, but you're probably not even a consideration when he's making his decisions. He's made the choice to move on and every choice he's made since then doesn't factor in your feelings or the time you spent together.

 

I know that that sounds and feels truly awful, but those were all his choices. You need to make the choice to not care about how/what he's doing and care more about you.