T - mac Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 ok well i never thought about this but about 30 minutes ago when my best friend(who i have liked for over 5 months now)'s sister logged on, and i went to say hi and saw a pic of my friend hugging another guy, and i dont know why, but i suddenly felt really sad and my stomach kinda started to hurt, and i got really cold, and went and lied down... is there a such thing as physical emotional pain? Link to post Share on other sites
CalamitousJane Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Absolutely, T-Mac I think it's good to feel it in your body like that - it's a hint to be very gentle with yourself, almost like you're sick. When I'm in big emotional pain my stomach knots so badly I can't eat. Coldness and stomach pain usually means so kind of fear to me. Right now, missing MY best friend, my heart feels like a giant throbbing bruise. Take good care of yourself. Have you ever thought of just walking up to her and giving her a big hug, so she knows you feel that way about her? Link to post Share on other sites
cant let go Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 i'm actually surprised this is the first you have ever encountered such an experience. i have on more than a few occasions become physically ill after a heartbreak. i lost 10 pounds in the first week after this break up and 10 more over the first month since i couldn't eat because i was nauseous all the time. i still feel sick when i see my ex's new girlfriend (who i once thought was my friend). i actually experienced that this morning at work. i had to get a drink of water and take quite a few deep breaths and just talk myself out of it before i could collect myself for an important meeting this morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author T - mac Posted December 14, 2007 Author Share Posted December 14, 2007 well, she knows i like her already, and she is fine with it... and yes it has already happened to me. and yes i am kinda scared that she might like the guy, since i kinda know who he is. im just really worried cus i know that we wont be able to be friends in the same way we are now after she gets a boyfriend. and i still feel pretty bad, and dont feel like eating iether. Link to post Share on other sites
CalamitousJane Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 T-mac, did you ever consider flirting with her a bit - letting her think you might not mind being her boyfriend, but keeping her a little curious? I can tell you from experience, that drives girls crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author T - mac Posted December 14, 2007 Author Share Posted December 14, 2007 well she already knows i like her, like i said... and we've been friends for so long now its kinda hard to get out of the friends zone after so long if you know what i mean. but if you've ever liked someone that doesnt exactly like you back then you know how hard it is, and im actualy thinking about moving back to the states because of it... im in mexico rite now going to school and living with my mom, and i like it, but her, her sister, and a few half american kids are really the only friends have rite now... and really the only reason ive stayed is because of her, but now im thinking of leaving because of her... i dont know, she said, after i told her i liked her that she just finished a 1 and half year relationship and isnt ready for another one, and said that rite now, anything can happen between us, but i just get the feeling that she just doesnt like me that way. damn, this whole thing is just leaving me so confused, and im pretty much failing every class rite now, besides history, which she did a whole essay for me so i could pass yesterday. but aaahhh im so confused. dont know if i should just leave her or if i should stay. it would hurt so bad if i did leave her, but when i find out she likes some1 or has a boyfriend i will be even more hurt... Link to post Share on other sites
CalamitousJane Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Oh, T - mac... The deal with a connection is that both sides feel it. It's plain physics. Maybe you think you feel it more than she does, but that's just an illusion. It's just that you're more aware of it than she is, right now. You need to learn the secret: trust the connection, so you can play with it. She will feel it. From now on, about half the time you would normally connect with her, make other plans. Find something to do with your sister, with other friends, with yourself. Make a solemn commitment to these plans, then tell her "I'm sorry I can't do it then... maybe next week?" She needs to feel your absence a little, in order to know how much she's connected to you. Imagine you're her pillow, and you have a big dent in you from holding her head up all the time. You need to get away for a bit and fluff yourself, or else she won't even know you're there. Does that make any sense? I can tell you're a good, loving person - whoever ends up with you will be very lucky! Link to post Share on other sites
Author T - mac Posted December 14, 2007 Author Share Posted December 14, 2007 thank you. actualy i thought about not seeing her so i could try to forget about her, but i couldnt do something like that, it would just kill me not to see her anymore. and well i think thats a good idea but i know she will think something is going on, and unfortunately this has already started to happen but not because of me... it used to be that we would see each other every weekend, and we would go to the mall and do stuff... and now we hardly ever do things, the last time i saw her was on the 4th when we went to pizza hut for her birthday, and then went to a church group or something like that... and i asked her why dont we hardly ever do things together anymore and she said t was because she had so much homework and stuff, not because she didnt want to or because i told her i like her. and well i would take your advice, but the only place i really see her often is at school , we spend every minute of recess togoether, but we'll see, except Christmas vacation is coming up next week and i would want to spend time with her then ... but thanks for your advice, it does help. and thank you all for your kind words. Link to post Share on other sites
CalamitousJane Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Hang in there T - mac. Maybe be a tiny bit busy with something else at recess. I promise she'll be curious. Take good care, and don't worry about whether she likes you - I know she does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author T - mac Posted December 14, 2007 Author Share Posted December 14, 2007 ok thanks, ill try... and ill try out what you said, but its going to be hard not seeing her as often Link to post Share on other sites
CalamitousJane Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Give it three weeks. By the third week she'll be the one wanting more from you. I know you can do it! Link to post Share on other sites
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