trulysomething Posted November 25, 2007 Share Posted November 25, 2007 Made a big mistake this morning in calling the ex (2 months now)..he was supposed to come in yesterday to visit and bailed (typical behaviour...should've seen it coming). We had a nice chat on the phone which then made him mad and he hung up.(about something else entirely) He called last night to apologize for being a jerk..and then said something that made me really think. He said.."Are we okay?" I paused...a lot. Then I said..yeah..sure. But when I got off the phone, all I kept thinking was how we were not we anymore. And that NO, I was not okay because I didn't even know what happened with us. Clearly I had a momentary flash of insanity. So, with that in mind I called him this morning. Got all frustrated and down and not knowing left from right or up from down. I want him, but I don't want him. I am sad and confused and hurt and angry. I don't know how to be his friend...do I even want to be his friend? All questions that only I can answer..and I can't even manage that!! He wanted to come in today and I told him I have plans (I do)... ..must be hormonal or something. Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 no, you are perfectly normal. you are a confused, a little emotional and upset. you are a human being and not a robot. it will get easier, the emotions will go and you will be much more rational when you talk to him or think about him. you just need time. Link to post Share on other sites
Jmina Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 This is normal and all part of the healing process and grief process. To help you see some things a bit clearer i have written what i think you might be trying to find. probably- You dont want to be his friend, you want to be his girlfriend. wanting to be friends is a last attempt a last hope at being in each others lives. Your doubting wanting him as a friend or bf because it isnt what he wants, and the feeling of rejection and our own built in shield tricks us into thinking we dont want it either so we dont get hurt or anymore hurt. when truthfully you still want him and wish it could be that way again. You just know it wont happen/ cant happen. I say probably because i dont know your story or you for that fact. however i guess i am on the ball. Instead of trying to work out what you want, what he wants etc concentrate on creating yourself. your talents, your wisdom and your morals.This is what you are made up of. Only define yourself by these things. Nothing else. Use them everyday and find ways to gain more or understand them more. Doing so could be your road to healing. Or at least open a door for you. keep posting =) Jmina x Link to post Share on other sites
SYRACUSE03 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 I agree with birdie. It's normal and your emotions got the best of you. We all have feelings so don't beat yourself up. That just means we are human. Just give it some time for the wound to heal and things will get better. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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