Tangerina Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Ok, so my ex owes me $65.... and I know that isn't that much, my situation is that I am a college student without lots of time to work, but I do have an ok-paying job so I get by.... I even have enough money to do nice things like go out for dinner or blow $40 on lingerie every now and then.... but still, I try to watch it and save as much as I can while still doing fun things now and then... so $65 is like 2 weeks of groceries, or would cover all of the times that I don't eat at home for a month, or buy a used text book, or pay for X-mas presents this year.... etc.... My ex knows he owes me the money, but kept forgetting to send it, it wasn't a mean thing, he just didn't have any extra money until this month... So, I e-mailed him and asked for the money and he said, oh yeah, I no longer have an excuse not to pay you because I got a job... and he was gonna pay me when he came to pick up some of his stuff from my parent's house.... but then last week he sent me a letter and called me to get closure after 5 months and it was the first time he cried to me about the breakup (he left me but wants me back, I'm with someone new who treats me better) and it was really painful for both of us but good because it got some stuff out in the open, but by the end of the conversation things were pretty hard and he was crying saying that he is afraid he missed his last chance and then said "I'm going to let you go" and hung up.... So now I feel like I really do need to leave him alone and let him heal but I want my $$$!!! not just for the money but also because when I feel mad rather than compassionate towards him I get mad about the money, I just don't want any more reasons to resent him anymore..... but I feel totally heartless e-mailing him or whatever... "oh, BTW.... please mail me my money... sorry about that whole broken heart thing".... I am sure someone else has been in this situation, maybe not with money but will stuff or something... it isn't like we will never talk again, but I want to give him lost of time without rubbing my happy moved-on self in his face. What did you do? Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I seriously doubt you'll get your money back. Just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 sounds more like he manipulated you into feeling guilty and forgetting about the money. i don't think i would have fallen for this act, but you never know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tangerina Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 Nah, it wasn't manipulation.... it was just a tough conversation that we needed to have, but it left things in an awkward state and now I really don't feel comfortable calling him for a little while...... Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Nah, it wasn't manipulation.... it was just a tough conversation that we needed to have, but it left things in an awkward state and now I really don't feel comfortable calling him for a little while...... okay. sorry. but that's what it looks like from the outside. in any case, i would let it go. i don't think you'll get the money. Link to post Share on other sites
downcydeguy Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Did you ever see A Bronx Tale? A kid owes another kid $20 and keeps avoiding him. He gets pissed but is told by another guy that it only cost him $20 to get rid of him.... He knows he owes you the money so you don't have to contact him. His debt may actually be reason enough for him to leave you alone - which is what you want right now. So look at it as it only cost you $65 to move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Stormy99 Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 First of all why would you ever describe yourself as the "B" word ? Dont do that to yourself or anybody else and dont be around anyone that does that to your or anybody else. Second, put that $ 65 in the trash can of your memory. Be Thankful it's not $ 65,000. And dont let yourself get in that financial position again. Be Happy for all you do have ( okay finances, better boyfriend, etc ) and stop thinking about minute amount you do not have. That is a cheap lesson, dont let it become expensive. Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 mine owes me $320+ and i have basically forgotten about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Brokenheartedmom Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 i have to agree with everyone.... my ex owes me about $700 and i have just written it off.. i would rather not see him than have to deal with it Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Tangerina, 1. There is no reason for you to believe (yet) that your ex won't give you the money. Be optimistic about it. 2. There is no reason for you to be rude (I know you didn't meant to anyway). Just call him on the phone and say: "Hi, how are you? The reason why I am calling is to remind you about the $65... You don't have to give it to me now, I can wait for a few weeks, but I will really need it before _____ (insert a date here). Thank you very much... Oh you will send it sooner? That's very kind of you.:)" That kind of tone is necessary when you want to achieve something. You only switch to the bitch mode if you're given a good reason. If he doesn't send you the money by the date you state, call him and KINDLY remind him again. No need to be rude and no need to feel bad about asking for your own money, but also understand him that he might be broke at this moment so forgive him and give him some more time. It sounds like he still loves you and he seems like a decent guy. I think he will give you the money back so relax. Link to post Share on other sites
ButtonPusher Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 You said it yourself Tangerina, its only $65. My ex owed me more than that and it was on my mind for a few weeks after the break up but I don't give a toss now. I'm a student too, and have to work to be able to support myself so I know what its like to be tight over money. But cmon its 65 bucks! You haven't died of starvation while stressing over it so it can't be that important to your budget. Just let it go. In a few months you might regret being so petty towards your ex if you keep bugging him about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 The girl that dated my husband before me?? He lent her tons of money. It's an embarrassing sum of money to even say out loud to me so I won't even do that here. Needless to say you could add two zeros to that figure plus a extra couple of thousand. I've often joked that had he ever figured out just how much that piece of ass cost him per time?? In reality, she was a single mom and he cared about her kids who were the ones suffering. He even lent her money after they broke up- every bit of it was a loan and there was an agreement in place to pay it back. Guess what? She stalled on paying him back. He could have pursued it legally and his attorney was ready to do so. It was ALOT of money. I told him just to forget it. She was unbalanced in reality and she'd already given us some drama. It just wasn't worth it to have her back in our lives for as long as it would take to get it paid back. It's 65.00. Come on, forget about it. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 It's an embarrassing sum of money to even say out loud to me so I won't even do that here. I wonder how much it can be... Needless to say you could add two zeros to that figure plus a extra couple of thousand. Oh! Here the answer comes in the next sentence: it's $65 x 00 +2,000 = $8,500 Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 It's your money , you have the right to ask for it back and you shouldn't be embarrassed. If you don't want any conflict and it's not worth it, then let it go... that's if you really don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
mazza32cott Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 My ex owes me a couple of grand. Forget it.... You WILL get over it. It's not worth the hassle, he knows he owes it and if he wants he'll give it back. Maybe he has been in another relationship which has just broken up and that's why the delay in wanting you back because now he is upset... Who knows, just move on. You are in a new relationship. Be happy. Maz Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tangerina Posted November 9, 2005 Author Share Posted November 9, 2005 Thanks you guys, that is all good advice, and it makes me feel a little bit better.... yeah, $65 is not that big of a deal, I can absorb it no problem... it was more the principle of the matter... as fundamental said, it's my money he has and I have a right to it.... but yeah, I think I am just going to forget about it unless it comes up naturally sometime in the future when we can talk naturally about it.... that was the whole reason I felt bad if I contacted him is because he is really sad about us right now and I think it is best to leave him alone... it would be nice to have it before X-mas, though! Though I don't think he would want to give it back if he knew that I would use it to take my boyfriend to a bed and breakfast on the Oregon coast... hmmmm...... Link to post Share on other sites
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