Here I am 😓

[Brokenheartedman12]

Hello all,

I’m still here. It’s been a bit I’ve dated but yet I’m still stuck on my ex, I was good for a long time but recently I feel like crap again. Like it feels all of it happened yesterday again. She crosses my mind constantly, I feel damaged I don’t get the spark like I had with her. I went on a date with my new gf and I literally saw right threw her wishing she was my ex. I felt so bad cause she’s a nice girl, so I broke it off. My ex is currently dating a 27 year old she’s now 23 and I’m sick of the thought that they may marry. They live together after a year and got a puppy. Idk why I’m still stuck or how I became stuck again but. I am lost I would never do anything to ruin it, but I’m still in love with her and it’s driving me. Nuts

[mark clemson]

This sounds like residual limerence to me. Suggest you wait a bit until you feel okay again and then fully resolve to be done with her and block her in all ways possible. No social media or checking up on her in any way. No nothing. Nothing to do with her at all.

 

It does sound like you tried to move on to a new GF a bit early, before you were fully ready. Consider doing more casual dating instead, with no intent for it to be more than fun.

 

Eventually with some time and possibly some add'l casual dating to take your mind off of it, you should be ready for your next "real" relationship.

[Flame Aura]

How do you know she has a 27 year old boyfriend and they live together and they have a puppy?

[Brokenheartedman12]

Work relations she contacted me a few times as well so I asked her how she’s been

[lonelyplanetmoon]

Yep and there is your problem. You need to stay in NC. You should know nothing about her new life. The knowing will just damage you because you will measure your self worth to what she has. You need to take responsibility for your feelings and actions. You control contact and peeking etc.

 

It sucks to be sure but NC is really important. You can do it.

 

I am miles from where I thought I could be. And I have strict NC to thank. Sure he has texted me the breadcrumb messages and emotions would rise up and the urge to reply would occur. Many written texts that were deleted before sending etc. But in the end, each time I did not reply, I grew stronger.

[Brokenheartedman12]

I usually am nc but when I got a new job a serious career she contacted me at odd hours 2am to wish me a congrats on the new career and I heard threw a grapevine she lives with her new bf there was one time before she contacted me at 1am saying hey while dating this man and it’s killing me cause I heard they getting married

[lonelyplanetmoon]

It is hard to let go. We have all been there.

It becomes harder when you take the breakup personally like they are rejecting YOU. You cannot let them go because your ego would have to accept this as rejection.

 

You have to rewire yourself to thinking that they left because they wanted something DIFFERENT, not better. By accepting this reality, your ego does not have to accept it as rejection of you. You then move forward with accepting things you cannot control. You grow as a person by doing the work to let go and learn acceptance.

 

You are worthy of finding someone who loves you for you and who gives you their love freely. Life is short don’t waste it on someone who is not investing in you. Your time is better spent investing in yourself. And when someone else comes along you will have more to offer to them.

[Flame Aura]

I usually am nc but when I got a new job a serious career she contacted me at odd hours 2am to wish me a congrats on the new career and I heard threw a grapevine she lives with her new bf there was one time before she contacted me at 1am saying hey while dating this man and it’s killing me cause I heard they getting married

You are doing this all to yourself.

 

 

If she messages you - you delete the message and don't reply. You don't ask others about her. You tell anyone who knows her to not mention her to you again.