First Date (?) w/ Ex Boyfriend

[coffeegrl]

Hi all. So I need a bit of advice. Here's the history: We dated for 8 months and things just didn't work out. We couldn't seem to move at the same pace in the relationship (one of us always seemed to want to move faster or slower than the other) so things just ended. We haven't seen each other or spoken in a year and a half.

 

We recently ended up back in touch and he asked me out to dinner for later this week. He did not say it was a date, so for all I know, he just wants to catch up. The relationship didn't end badly. It just sort of ended.

 

So how do I approach this? Normally when I'm going on a first date, I don't question what his intentions are. I figure if he wants to ask me out again, he will, and I can either accept or not. But this is not a typical "first date" or "meet up" or whatever you want to call it. We have history. He didn't say, "Want to grab dinner and catch up?" He said, "If you want, I'd like to take you out to dinner this week." This was after finding out that I'm currently single. He is also single.

 

So how do I handle this? Do I ask him if this is just two people catching up? Or is this a date? Having history makes things more complicated than two people who have just met. This could be just him wanting to catch up OR him missing my company OR him just wanting some female company in general OR him wanting to test the waters with this as a date.

 

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[basil67]

Don't ask him what his intentions are. Instead, tell him what you want (trying again/close friends/casual friends/sex only) and state that you're only interested in meeting him if he's on the same wavelength as you.

[d0nnivain]

Assume it's a date but be prepared to pay for your share if it's not. Dress accordingly. Catch up with him when you see him. Hear him out about what he wants & decide what you want.

 

Do not ask any Qs in advance framed as "what are his intentions?"