Why do I get invested so quickly?

[Josh_7798]

Hi,

 

Been a while since I was on here (almost 3 years!) and I've had no real problems in terms of relationships. Ever since my last break-up, I've tried to be more cautious when dating new women.

 

This, however, made me realise what I think is a big flaw in me, I get invested too quickly.

 

Take my most recent example, liked this girl for a while, eventually got with her and went out on a few dates. There was definitely attraction from both sides, we'd text everyday, always interested in eachothers lives. An issue was that as it was close to the end of term at Uni, she went back home for a while, meaning I couldn't see her in person. We kept talking and went on another date, and at this point I knew that my barrier had broken down and I was so invested in her, which leads to the next problem.

 

Eventually I noticed a bit of a change in behaviour (yep, that classic) and soon enough wanted to know where I stood. Unfortunately, the friendzone card was pulled out which did hurt as I thought things were going well. She hinted that that was only how she felt at the current moment, and foolishly my mind wandered thinking theres still a chance.

 

We carried on talking (still to this day) but I just get mood swings as I don't really know what to do, I feel like there isn't a chance of anything progressing with her, but I do enjoy talking to her. Some days I feel so happy, we're having a good conversation and whatnot, but other days, sometimes when she doesn't reply or ignores messages, it completely changes my outlook on the day - how can a person do that to me?

 

Why do I get invested so quickly? Anyone been in this situation who can give me some advice on how to tackle this situation?

 

Cheers.

[d0nnivain]

I'm not sure invested too soon is your problem. I think you failed to realize that college relationships change over the summer. When you were just down the block & able to see each other every day things are easier then when you are hundreds of miles apart because you went home for break.

 

She has already friend-zoned you. Let that relationship go. Have a great summer reconnecting with your friends. Come fall, start all over again with a different co-ed. Just remember behavior over break will involve less communication then behavior on campus.

[Despr8]

My thoughts it's just the wrong people you're meeting. Life is such on odd thing. I've been with women who love me after a week and I don't feel the same. Women who I get infatuated after a week and get dumped. It's all a toss up. Makes it harder in this Gen with so many options and values dropping.

Current GF we were exclusive after two dates. Just keep trying is all and you'll meet someone and just know. No games, no test, no grey areas, simple and loving. If it doesn't work you keep trying.