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I don't understand what happened?


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Rubikscube77

I don’t understand what happened. We broke up coming up to 4 months ago now out of nowhere after 3 years together, I’m 24 shes 20. A couple of weeks before the break up she was wanting to look at houses together, there was talk of us opening a joint savings account together as well. (We had separate savings accounts with the goal of moving out together soon). Then as I said, out of nowhere she decided that she ‘Didn’t feel the same way about me anymore’ and didn’t think that ‘She could feel how she felt again’ This has been the only explanation I’ve had as to what happened but there was never any hint about it, never any clues. Just out of the blue bam. She’s gone. There were never any arguments or huge disagreements between us, we had been on a few little holidays and breaks last year and had more planned for this year too, everything seemed to be heading in the right direction and there was never any indication she was unhappy at all, we were still having regular sex and everything up until literally a week before this all happened.

 

She broke up with me over text and then the following day came round and collected up her things and dropped my stuff off, there was a brief conversation where she repeated what she said via text and I kissed her on the forehead told her I loved her and that was the last time I saw her.

 

Friends and family couldn’t understand why or what happened either, with all of them telling me they thought we were the real deal. I told her I would give her her space and messaged her a couple of weeks later asking if she wanted to meet up (she didn’t), so I carried on with my life, I met friends, I worked on myself I joined a gym and have started swimming every morning before work. I messaged her once more about a month ago now asking her to kill this thread of hope I had that she would come back to me, I kept imagining that she would just turn up at my house or at my work even though I knew how unrealistic it was, but you know, hope is a killer. She replied to this message saying ‘Sorry but it is completely over’ I replied saying I still don’t really understand what happened and that we were so good together and got no reply.

 

I just don’t understand what happened or what is happening, I’m struggling to move forward as she is always at the forefront of my mind, I have been told there is no chance of us getting back together but it seems that wasn’t enough and my mind still cannot accept it. I removed her on all social media before removing myself because I found it toxic to my mental well-being as you can still search for people even if you’re not friends with/blocked them, there is no sign of anyone new or her seeing anyone so by the looks of things she didn’t leave me to be with someone else, so then why did she leave so suddenly and do everything so quickly and coldly? I’ve asked friends and family and nobody knows or understands it, so here I am begging for help on the internet because I cant get my head around it, I would be eternally grateful to the person that can hopefully put some sense into this for me and help me let go/move on, as I cant do it.

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She is 20, she doesn't want to settle down with you. It was all going down a slippery slope towards living together, engagement, marriage and kids.. She didn't want that, the world is her oyster, she is far too young for all of that...

She has been dating you since her teens, she wants to see what and who else is out there

She therefore put a stop to it, and is not coming back.

You can't usually make "wives" out of women in their early 20s, they don't want to settle down.

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When you started dating she was a 16 year old child & you were a 20 year old man.

 

Now that she's moving on to adulthood & her world is opening up you no longer hold the same allure for her. Sorry.

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ExpatInItaly

My honest guess is that it's a combination of her young age and having met someone else. Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean there hasn't been another guy on her radar, unfortunately. It's not hard to hide such things.

 

I'm sorry, OP. It sounds like you really didn't see this coming.

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