bloodreaper Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 So I've been with my girlfriend for a year and 3 months. Everything is going good besides physical touch. I receive and show love from physical touch, she receives and shows love through words of affirmation and acts of service. I've brought it up to her multiple times and also raised my concern about the lack of sex but to no avail. She does love me and she cooks for me a lot and treats me good, she just doesn't do physical touching a lot which drives me insane. We're on vacation now and I've honestly touched her friend more than her and she's not even my gf.. (not sexually obviously). I like having public sex, touch each other secretly when we're at the pool, and just do a lot of touching. She can't stand that even with a lot of talk. When I get frustrated, I get a handjob and if I'm lucky, a 5 second blowjob. Since the first month, she promised a car blowjob and I still haven't gotten one. I love my girlfriend but I'm always having to beg for sex or to be touched. What should I do?? I love her a lot but I'm starting to build some hatred and I'm worried ill regret breaking up with her because she has the purest heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Fekenaws Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 Sex is a healthy component of any relationship, I wouldn't even consider her a girlfriend without sex. Without sex, a girlfriend is just a good friend/best friend. I'd ask her if there was anything you could do to improve her experience or willingness to have sex, and if there isn't I would voice your dissatisfaction. If she still can't work something out, unfortunately, you two aren't compatible, at which time it might be a good idea to split up. Wanting a good sex life isn't selfish, it's part of being human. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 Throw away the love languages book. Date a girl who wants all aspects of a relationship. Your GF sounds like some frigid church girl or something. You can't demand she be a more sexual person. You just have to take (or in this case, leave) her based on what she is, which is an incomplete package as far as GF material. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 There is a huge difference between PDA, physical touch & exhibitionism. If the later (the secret touches in the pool etc) are important you, she's not your girl. Sex doesn't get better over time. Dating is a try out to see if you are compatible long term. You are learning where the points of contention are. What you do with that info is up to you. Let me put it this way. You can get a hot meal in any restaurant. Great sex, the way you want it, isn't as publicly available. Chose wisely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bloodreaper Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) I've been with my lady for 3 years. She's genuinely a very kind hearted good person. She never means any harm. Problem from the beginning of our relationship was that she's not a physical person at all. My birthday was last week and I didn't even get a kiss. She threw me a birthday party, cooked for me, took me out, paid for everything, but not even a kiss. Then last night while hanging out with her friends, they started laughing at how I asked her 3 years ago to become my gf, how it was bad because it was "cold" outside although other girls would have melted because it was such a romantic night I had planned. I bugged her Friday about how I didn't get anything, she said she'll do something Saturday night. Nope, she got tired and went to bed. Same for Sunday, and last night she decided to hang out with her roommates when I went to bed. I didn't say anything but it's sad. I love her and it's like she doesn't care at all about being romantic. I'm afraid to break up because she's a really great person and her family treat me like I'm their own. What would you do? Edit: we've struggled with this over the years and every couple months I get upset and tell her about my frustration. Things get better for a couple days then they go back to normal. She just says she's not a physical person but is trying. Edited March 2, 2021 by bloodreaper Forgot info Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 Sorry this is happening. How old is she? Do you two both live with parents/roommates? Do you have any privacy? Is she a virgin or saving things for marriage? 3 years is a very long time to go without ever kissing or having sex unless that is the cultural/religious context you are in. Or .. do you mean she did all this for your birthday but didn't have sex that night at her place? Link to post Share on other sites
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