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Ex-gf reached out and wished me a happy b-day???


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Old 9th April 2019, 11:15 PM   #1
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Ex-gf reached out and wished me a happy b-day???

This is a first for me, but my ex-gf from a few months ago reached out and texted: Hey Jimmy, I just wanted to wish you the greatest birthday ever!!! I hope you are well!!! with a kissy face and b-day cake. She's 40.

Background was that she wanted FWB after wanted to be exclusive, I declined and went NC.

I do not know if I should respond or not as trust and respect were broken. She went away two weeks on "vacation" by herself without her kids or friends. She actually went away one week, came back, saw me, then left to go back three days later. Then she was back on a dating site the same day with new pics as one of my friends saw her active profile. My gut thinks she was doing something behind my back. Then switch from an exclusive relationship (she suggested) to a FWB so we can date other people.

Do I ignore? Do I just say thank you and leave it at that? In my 37+ years on this Earth, I've never had an ex reach out of the blue to wish me a happy birthday, so I am unsure what to do.
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Old 9th April 2019, 11:27 PM   #2
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Iíd stay NC.

The only reason she did that was because itís an excuse to contact you and mess with your head. If you were truly that important to her she wouldíve been exclusive back. Donít go there. Just ignore it.
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Old 10th April 2019, 12:33 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by jimbo View Post
This is a first for me, but my ex-gf from a few months ago reached out and texted: Hey Jimmy, I just wanted to wish you the greatest birthday ever!!! I hope you are well!!! with a kissy face and b-day cake. She's 40.

Background was that she wanted FWB after wanted to be exclusive, I declined and went NC.

I do not know if I should respond or not as trust and respect were broken. She went away two weeks on "vacation" by herself without her kids or friends. She actually went away one week, came back, saw me, then left to go back three days later. Then she was back on a dating site the same day with new pics as one of my friends saw her active profile. My gut thinks she was doing something behind my back. Then switch from an exclusive relationship (she suggested) to a FWB so we can date other people.

Do I ignore? Do I just say thank you and leave it at that? In my 37+ years on this Earth, I've never had an ex reach out of the blue to wish me a happy birthday, so I am unsure what to do.
Iíd ignore it. If you do answer, itís not going to change anything or make a difference. Could be many reasons why sheís reaching out, most likely itís just in a friendly way because she does care about you. But she didnít care enough to be with only you and thatís really all you need to know. Keeping in touch with her will just make it harder for you to move forward.
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Old 10th April 2019, 12:37 AM   #4
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If you both agreed on exclusive and she did all that, don't reply. In fact, block the number so you don't get follow-ups either and go NC for real.
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Old 10th April 2019, 12:55 AM   #5
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She's trying to re-start communication. But she's your ex for a reason. What are those reasons? Is it reconcilable or a train wreck waiting to happen? Do you really want something from her? If not, I wouldn't respond.
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Old 10th April 2019, 1:23 AM   #6
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Just breadcrumbs so ignore. She has major character flaws. Stay dark
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Old 10th April 2019, 2:30 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by jimbo View Post
This is a first for me, but my ex-gf from a few months ago reached out and texted: Hey Jimmy, I just wanted to wish you the greatest birthday ever!!! I hope you are well!!! with a kissy face and b-day cake. She's 40.

Background was that she wanted FWB after wanted to be exclusive, I declined and went NC.

I do not know if I should respond or not as trust and respect were broken. She went away two weeks on "vacation" by herself without her kids or friends. She actually went away one week, came back, saw me, then left to go back three days later. Then she was back on a dating site the same day with new pics as one of my friends saw her active profile. My gut thinks she was doing something behind my back. Then switch from an exclusive relationship (she suggested) to a FWB so we can date other people.

Do I ignore? Do I just say thank you and leave it at that? In my 37+ years on this Earth, I've never had an ex reach out of the blue to wish me a happy birthday, so I am unsure what to do.
I'd say that's nice of you thank you!
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Old 10th April 2019, 10:20 AM   #8
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You can even say "thanks. I wish you well".

By saying that you are not leaving a door open.
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Old 10th April 2019, 10:25 AM   #9
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She's chumming the waters for you.

Do you want to be bothered with her again?
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Old 10th April 2019, 11:05 AM   #10
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We did not end on very good terms with the FWB thing and the mysterious trips out of no where. When I said no to the FWB, she didn't understand and wanted to keep things going. I said she ruined it with her actions. Then she said can we still be friends and hang out, I said no reason.

She said, well if you change your mind, I am here for you. I said, I won't, take care. She then replied, if you do change your mind, I am here. I then deleted her text.

Just very weird to have a text from her. I am not going to lie, it did bring back memories, but the thought of her messing around with others and some other things I was going through was just too much. Once trust and respect is gone, I do not think I could have anything to do with her again. It's a shame as we matched on many levels, but I was always skeptical as she always had men hovering around her who she said wanted to have sex with her and do favors for her. She agreed to stop conversing with them, but something wasn't right. We broke up for a couple of weeks, she apologized and said she was wrong, I accepted it, but two weeks later she wanted the FWB thing; amongst other things. I just said good bye. I couldn't take the see sawing.
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Old 10th April 2019, 1:36 PM   #11
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All the more reason to stay dark.

You really should block her on everything.

You don't need this crap or drama in your life.

Why leave the door open and keep dealing with this?

Full no contact is your best path
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Old 10th April 2019, 1:58 PM   #12
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All the more reason to stay dark.

You really should block her on everything.

You don't need this crap or drama in your life.

Why leave the door open and keep dealing with this?

Full no contact is your best path
I blocked her on FB as she primarily contacted me on FB. I also deleted messenger. So she reached out via text and she also send me an e-birthday card. WTF?

I will not be responding, still stings, as I now have it playing in my head how she acted. I do not think she's a bad person, I just think she is not good in relationships. or, just not good with me I guess. lol.
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Old 10th April 2019, 8:23 PM   #13
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I blocked her on FB as she primarily contacted me on FB. I also deleted messenger. So she reached out via text and she also send me an e-birthday card. WTF?

I will not be responding, still stings, as I now have it playing in my head how she acted. I do not think she's a bad person, I just think she is not good in relationships. or, just not good with me I guess. lol.

No, we mean No Contact--that includes phone and email. You left the door open by restricting the blocking to facebook/messenger--you might want to explore why. Make sure your curiosity doesn't lead you somewhere you don't want to be. You two already connect on a lot of levels and it's really easy to think you can handle something that you can't. I seriously doubt she's given up seeking the attention and favors of other men. That's a hard drug for some people to give up. She's probably going through a dry spell and figured kitty triumphed once before... just sayin'...
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Old 10th April 2019, 8:49 PM   #14
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I donít usually block ppl from texts or phones. I never reached out, but was initially leaving the door open to see what happens. It was pretty shocking to see her back on the online dating site the next day with all brand new pics was a big punch to the gut.

I guess, she never saw it that way. I didnít respond and deleted the text
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Old 10th April 2019, 9:02 PM   #15
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I was initially leaving the door open to see what happens.

be careful you don't get hoisted by your own petard...
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