Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Ex reached out after six months no contact

Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree1Likes
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 16th March 2019, 10:58 PM   #1
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 1
Post Ex reached out after six months no contact

I’m in a weird situation. I’m 10 months post breakup and 6 months no contact. My ex broke up with me right before I was to move to be with him. He cried, seemed confused and said “this is the right thing for right now”. Took me months to even feel ok and like I could breathe. He wanted to be friends, I told him no. He said he would follow my lead with contact.

A few months ago I got a notification from google photos that he had viewed our shared photo albums, then he liked a tweet of mine (I then blocked him on all social media because I didn’t want to see his name pop up). I even removed him from LinkedIn and Pinterest because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of keeping up with me.

Fast forward to Tuesday. I’m at a work conference. I’ve had an incredible week. Just hours before I found out that my mom was cancer free after just two months since she received her diagnosis. I’m feeling good. I get a notification, look down at my phone expecting a message from my dad. It’s from my ex. I couldn’t even open it for a few hours. When I did, I saw that he wrote:

Hey. I might be late to the party here but I wanted to congratulate you on earning your degree! And a new job as well I hear.. it’s well deserved, you’ve worked hard for it. I’m very proud of you and happy for you. I hope the winter hasn’t been too bad, and that life is (still) treating you well.

What in the actual heck? He knows I don’t want to be friends. He must’ve realized he had been blocked everywhere. I don’t know how he got this information unless he asked his best friend (whose wife I’m good friends with). How do I interpret this? How do I respond? I’m so tempted to just say something along the line of “Thank you, but unless you’re reaching out to reconcile, I’m not interested in hearing from you”.

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice?
kelozu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th March 2019, 11:01 PM   #2
Established Member
Cersei's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 440
I would just say "thanks" And leave it at that.
If he elaborates go into the reconciliation talk then but I would keep it brief to start with.
Cersei is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th March 2019, 11:34 PM   #3
Established Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,416
This is a really annoying behavior that seems to be somewhat common among dumpers. I really don't understand it. Unless it's to apologize, I have no idea why they do it.

I wouldn't say "unless you're reaching out to reconcile." That would sound like it's something you're hoping for, or at least an option for you.

If it were me and I was dumped, if I even responded, which is unlikely, I'd probably say something like "why are you contacting me?"
Highndry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2019, 12:41 AM   #4
Established Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,211
I agree with the above poster

Just reply with “thank you”

And go from there

These people have no shame

My ex s way of coming back to reconcile was sending me a pic of her son with a toy I gave him ...?! I mean really ?!

She got upset when the pic didn’t go through because she was blocked
Purepony is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2019, 3:07 AM   #5
Established Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 79
Just ignore and don't reply. Block his number as well.
assertives is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2019, 5:38 AM   #6
Established Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 199
He misses you obviously.
Thingsfallapart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2019, 10:05 AM   #7
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by kelozu View Post

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice?

Agree with others. Just say thank you and see how he reacts. Personally I think he means well. It would make him clingy if he started off talking about reconciliation. So it's completely natural for him to text something nice (and light).

Last edited by Moderator; 17th March 2019 at 12:16 PM..
Sophia1000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2019, 10:27 AM   #8
Established Member
BC1980's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 8,018
As time passes, emotions even out, and he probably thought it was okay to reach out. This message might be a peace offering of sorts. I don't think you're obligated to respond, but, if you do, just leave it at "thanks."
BC1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2019, 11:15 AM   #9
Established Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 166
I wouldn't bother responding because you will keep thinking about it if you responded with thanks. Not worth it and if you are moving on, keep it that way.
ilovemefirst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th March 2019, 4:04 AM   #10
Established Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 147
do you still love this person?

you can't go from 0 to 60 without some conversation, or at least opening the lines of communication.

that was a lovely message - respond.

let me know how it goes!
thekarmacist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th March 2019, 6:51 AM   #11
Established Member's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: On an island
Posts: 1,538
Any update OP?

Did you respond at all?

There is nothing in his message that indicates he wants reconciliation. I would not advise you to respond that he shouldn't contact you unless that is what he wants. You are showing him that you are willing to accept that if you do. Are you? Do you want him back?

Decide the message you clearly want to send him as silence is still a message in itself.

My ex sent me a huge message last week with an apology and omission to behaviour I had begged him to recognise and take responsibility for our entire 6 year relationship. It felt like a slap in the face to be honest and just a way to for him to feel less guilty. My response was cordial - yet made it clear that regardless of his "trying to make right" bollocks, it's too little too late for that and I'm not giving him a pass to move on guilt free after what he did to me. and that I'm not interested in further communication or friendship. It wasn't easy.. I still love him even though he was abusive. I forced myself to send the message I know I had to in order to keep moving forward.
I'm learning there are better men out there if I'm willing to look away from him.

keep us updated on what you send, or don't send. I know its a tough one.
。.。:.* ♪♫•*¨*•.¸☆* ❤ *☆¸.•*¨*•♫♪ *.: .。。

Last edited by; 18th March 2019 at 6:58 AM.. is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
She reached out after 5 months of NC djung87 Breaks and Breaking Up 22 30th August 2017 7:30 PM
Reached out after 2 months? barbes Second Chances 3 19th February 2017 1:15 PM
EX reached out after 3 months. We met. grokcahsevol Second Chances 2 14th October 2015 12:36 PM
Reached Out To My Ex Today After 9 Months NC Catwalk87 Breaks and Breaking Up 41 9th June 2015 10:28 AM
Reached out to my ex after many months freebird31 Coping 16 16th April 2014 1:08 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:47 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.