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What is the best way to get over someone?

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Old 15th March 2019, 5:42 PM   #1
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What is the best way to get over someone?

I know there's probably no quick and easy way to get over a person, but what helps you move on?

I have developed serious feelings for someone I've been working with for almost 2 years - the problem is that he's married and I knew this all along. I didn't really feel anything for him at first, but then he started asking to get lunch with me. I went along with him, just as I would with any other coworker. But then he started to make conversation with me at work all the time, and offered to help me at every chance he got. He even tried to contact me outside of work every now and then - and with all of this happening, I fell for him pretty badly.

Nothing ever happened between us, and I would never ever even think of getting involved with him. Yet at some point I realized that I couldn't even stand to look at him any longer, it was just too painful. That's when I realized my feelings had gotten a little out of hand, and I needed to find a new job. That's just what I did, and now I'm leaving the company. Of course, he's not the only reason I'm leaving - I do want to experience change, and I'm excited for my new job.

Yet I'm so heartbroken. The thought of not seeing him everyday is nearly killing me, and I just find myself so sad these days. It truly feels like I have lost a very good friend.

What do you do when it feels like you'll never get over someone?
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Old 15th March 2019, 8:47 PM   #2
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In your case, I think not seeing him every day is going to help a lot. In general, though, time and getting/staying busy and maybe dating some will do the trick.
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Old 15th March 2019, 9:01 PM   #3
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I agree with Blanco. And kudos to you for just getting another job. It avoided what would have only been worse heartache for you and maybe chaos for him and his family. So you did the right thing. Glad you were able to do that.

I'm the world's worst at getting over someone once I fall hard, and what works best for me is to keep moving, keep going out with friends. If you find yourself depressed, watch movies or tv that makes you laugh or get some funny books or something. Keep laughing. Even though you may not feel like being social, do it anyway and don't spend that time talking about him or it. Go out and have fun and be friendly and plaster a smile on your face, and your life will improve soon enough.

Also, comfort yourself in the fact that you don't really know him well enough. He may be not that great of a guy, especially if she had any intentions of flirting with you or others at work. You are only seeing his work side. People have to be their best self at work.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
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