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My Story Of Love & Heartbreak


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 14th March 2019, 5:39 PM   #1
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Cool My Story Of Love & Heartbreak

Just want to share my story and maybe see what folks have to say about it. Other than that i think it would be therapeutic to share my own story of a long and winding road of love or something like love. Long but a good read.

At the age of 19 (currently in my 30s) i began dating a very lovely woman (single mom) few years older than me.
She have a daughter from a previous relationship who i also fell in love with.
After a good start i began to get “boring” about 6 months in and we split, she initiated.
I went on with my life, cause as a young man i knew i had to keep moving forward to make a better life for myself. I was able to get a promotion at my job and it felt good cause at the age of 20 at the time it was a good way to show that i have made progress since graduating from collage the year prior.

She reaches out to me and said she wanted to hook back up because she missed me. I was available at the time and i was very fond of her child so i said ok.
We had so much more fun this time around and we eventually got an apartment at about the 1 year mark.
Once we moved in she almost immediately began asking me for a house. Her close relative around her age had just recently purchased a home so i thought maybe she feels out done by her cousin and wanted to pressure me.
Needless to say at the age of 21 with collage debt, living in NY a house was off the table at the time but in life is my ultimate goal.

A year later we split again, this time constant fighting over me doing about 30 hours a week overtime just to help put myself and her in a better position to het a home.
She moves out i move my parent in who is back from Florida and needs a place.
After about 6 months i began dating again. One person in particular was very good to me so we became exclusive. My ex finds out thru a friend and calls me up.
“I still love you and i want to come home” puts the kid on the phone “pappa i miss you, can i come home?”....... Heartbroken i stopped dating and decided to take them back. However she would have to remain in her current apartment as i was not going to kick my mother out.

We started again and within 8 months we split again. This time “ i was taking too long to get an apartment together”.
I am now in my mid 20’s at this point. After taking a year off and with Zero contact i began to see a woman that was close to a friend of mine she was single and i really liked her so we dated and after about a year married.
About 4 years into the marriage my wife receives a tragic news of a ex bf, passed away from a drug overdose. Her world turned upside down after that. Deep depression. At the time she was in school and i was the only one working. Her therapy cost and anti depressants pills were stacking up and the weight of it caused us to separate. We divorce shortly after and went our separate ways.

At this point in my journey I am now in my 30’s and have received a 3rd promotion at work. I am now an Area manager with 5 employees and 1.4 million square feet of property to manage. With a bonus i break 6 figures.
My ex for before my wife pops up, almost out of nowhere. It was a phone call and i did not recognized the voice. She sound much more mature and we spoke for an hour catching up. Wished he all the best and got off the phone.
A few weeks later she calls me up again said she wants to meet up, “just the 3 of us”.

I was ok with the meet up, excited to see them again, but deep down i knew she was looking for more even if it was never discussed.
After about a month of these meetings, things became physical. After about 6 months i asked her to marry me and she accepted. We did everything together for about another 6 months and then she became distant again. It was right around the time my company picked up another location that i also had to manage along with my current property. If she fell out of love because of the increased work load on me, i cant blame her. This time the ole “boring” and I’m “too good” excuse was used. Gave me back my ring and off i went.

She comes back 4 months later, sucks me back in for a few days only to tell me as i was about to slide up in it that she has a bf. “lmfao!” Put my cloth on and said “lets go i will take you home”
At the drop iff spot these are the last words i hear her say to me.
“I made a mistake with you, no one will ever want you, i will never call you again”

Early 30’s, mother diagnosed with Glioblastoma at the age of 61, aggressive type of brain tumor. She survived it for a year, but honestly nothing in this universe would have been able to save her. Rip mom, i love more than you can imagine.

Now in my mid to late 30’s, she calls me up. Tell me her child needs me cause she attempted suicide with her anti depressants that she been taking since junior high school (smfh) and she wants me to talk to her and be there for her cause the kid have always loved me. She said she in pregnant and don’t know how much more she can take.
I told her if you are pregnant you need to get the man that knocked you up be there for your child not me. I also told her that i do t want to be apart of your life cause of all the horrible experiences and to have a good life.

And thats my story, feel free to judge and roast me. But its true folks, dont take you exes back you may end up like me, empty handed after 16 years.

Last edited by Theonetwo; 14th March 2019 at 5:47 PM.. Reason: grammer
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Old 14th March 2019, 5:51 PM   #2
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That young lady didn't have a "stick to it" bone in her body. She kept trying to get you to go way in debt to give her things that weren't practical at the time, and it should be obvious that was her priority: Get things from a man instead of get them for herself.

She used the child for leverage. Sad.

Sorry your marriage crumbled. Mental illness is rough. I bet you haven't seen the last of her and won't unless she finds a pushover with a lot of money.

Sorry you lost your good ol mom.
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Old 14th March 2019, 5:58 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by preraph View Post
That young lady didn't have a "stick to it" bone in her body. She kept trying to get you to go way in debt to give her things that weren't practical at the time, and it should be obvious that was her priority: Get things from a man instead of get them for herself.

She used the child for leverage. Sad.

Sorry your marriage crumbled. Mental illness is rough. I bet you haven't seen the last of her and won't unless she finds a pushover with a lot of money.

Sorry you lost your good ol mom.
I agree, i woild also like to add the day she reached for me to help her with her child, i could not sleep that night becasue i feel bad for the kid. When finally went to sleep it was my mothers voice and tug on my torso that woke me me. She was pushing me on my chest saying “babe wake up, wake up” in a very calm voice. Woke up thinking i was gonna see my mom, reality sets in. Effed me up all week. It gave me the strenght to tell her i dont want to be in your orbit anymore.
Heard from a mutal friend that she was heartbroken when i told her no i wont help. I most likely will never hear from here again, I belive even people like her have a limit.
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Old 14th March 2019, 5:59 PM   #4
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You definitely don't deserve to be judged or roasted. A thing I read a lot around here is that "some people aren't marriage material". I think that applies in your recurring Ex's case.

Very unfair to think she can pop into your life anytime she feels like she needs support and then just drop out again. The only criticism I can see is that maybe you were too giving, but clearly it at least came from a place of decency and caring.
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