geckooo23 Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Soo i would ask you for some advice, my ex (22F) and i (25M) where together for 2.5 years, 2 of these we lived together, because she wanted and i was in love. During our relationship we had an amazing time, i was her first in lots of things ( sex inclusive) but lots of times , i would feel that she would be unstable mentally. Cutting people off on the first deception, badmouthing people etc. She was in her eyes perfect and the most mature person in the world. She changed me, my entire me was by the end of the relationship totally diferent. In the beginning i was social, great looking guy, always up for drinks with friends, and full with self esteem. By the end i was boring ( because she never wanted to leave the house, lost my looks because she didnt liked it when i was styling myself, and everything i did was wrong in her eyes...inmature... Fast forward 1 week before christmas she cheates on me with a co worker, came home told me, apologized. Gave her a second chance, she goes out again the next day , does the same thing , i tell her wtf, she says she wants to live her life and im boring ( srsly?) ... now 1 . 5 monthes later, they are together... kissed right in front of me 3 days ago. No empathy, no respect. Sorry for the long post, but i would like to ask for advise Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 The relationship is over. Stop having anything to do with her, and try to get back to your old life. Make new friends, lose some weight, look after yourself, take up new hobbies or go back to old ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geckooo23 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 i know but is dificult, we live in a small town i see her almost everyday with him, about the weight well i lost a lot already, starting taking care of myself ... but everytime i see them is like a punch in the face, cant really handle it Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Sorry dude. But consider yourself lucky because you are still pretty young. You have lots of years of fun ahead of you. Enjoy the single life and have some fun doing the things that used to make you happy. You will be ok in time but for now just worry about you and only you. Heck with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geckooo23 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 I dont know how to be single anymore... *♂️ Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 She is 22, the world is her oyster and she did what many young people do, they think they want one thing, she played the "wife" for a while, but realised it was not for her and moved on to another guy. It is not surprising, it is par for the course. You were the filler relationship, it was never going to last. Dating is not about meeting one person and sticking to them like glue forever, it is about finding out what works and what doesn't. She sounded too young for commitment and you should have walked ages ago, not put all your eggs in her basket and then get upset when she crushed them underfoot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geckooo23 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 you are sooo right... and i accept she is gone, but i would expect a little empathy after all Link to post Share on other sites
primer Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 The fact that she is showing no respect to you says a lot about her, not you. She is not taking your feelings into consideration by flaunting and kissing her new boyfriend right in front of you. That is not the type of person to be with. I am sorry you have to deal with this. I also live in a small town and know how it can be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geckooo23 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 I think i just wanted an apology, some regret... That she would show she is human... and the 2.5 years where not worthless Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 I think i just wanted an apology, some regret... That rarely happens as the dumper is "right" in their mind and they often have to "hate" you somehow, in order to move on swiftly on with no regret. They have nothing to apologise for, as far as they are concerned... If she was a more mature person, she would have sat you down and told you it was over, she would not have cheated and rushed out the door... Her lack of empathy and concern for you is about protecting herself, you "deserved" it, she is thus blameless. Nothing is wasted, you had an experience for 2.5 years. Live and learn. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 You do know how to be single. You are just rusty. Reconnect with the friends you ghosted in favor of her. Next go round when your SO criticizes you for styling yourself, reconsider that person's motives & the advisability of staying with such an insecure person who tries to isolate you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geckooo23 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 You do know how to be single. You are just rusty. Reconnect with the friends you ghosted in favor of her. Next go round when your SO criticizes you for styling yourself, reconsider that person's motives & the advisability of staying with such an insecure person who tries to isolate you. Now really, i really dont know how to be single... either i go out with my friends and get totally drunk, or i get depressive and be at home 1 hour later... i have no hobbies , really dont know what i like after this 2.5 years living for her i forgot what i like... what kind of dreams i have Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Now really, i really dont know how to be single... either i go out with my friends and get totally drunk, or i get depressive and be at home 1 hour later... i have no hobbies , really dont know what i like after this 2.5 years living for her i forgot what i like... what kind of dreams i have Sounds like she did you a huge favour by leaving. NEVER allow yourself ever again to be so swamped by a relationship you lose yourself. Relationships are supposed to add to your life... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 So go out with your friends & don't get totally drunk. What hobbies did you have before? Reengage in them. Think about something that you always wanted to do, that looks interesting & do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geckooo23 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 i really dont know ... it irritates me i cant find anything interesting... Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 right now you're upset so it's going to be difficult to find a hobby or something that interests you. Get yourself a motorcycle and ride it cross country. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 She doesn't sound like a very nice person. Avoid her as much as possible and block her too. I'm sorry. She just sounds kind of uncaring and unsympathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
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