What do you do at night when the pain is worst

[abotha5]

I would like to know what you do at night when the loneliness and the heartache is really bad. I try to stay busy. One of my hobbies is producing dance music. I also try to read and watch some movies, but somehow the memories come back ans so also the tears. Its been 4 months since the breakup and 1 month of NC. We were together for 4 beautiful years. On the Friday she wanted to get married and on the Monday I was dumped with a TXT message. Haven't seen her since. Please let know what you do to fight the pain at night?

[preraph]

Well, it's not a quick fix, but you're on the right regimen by staying busy. Also, watch stuff on movies or tv that are guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. I think that's important, just to relieve your body from stress and give your mind a break from it. I'm way old, so my go-tos for that are things like "Pretty in Pink" or "Spinal Tap" and I used to love to watch "Leave it to Beaver" because I find it hilarious, but you can't find that anymore anywhere. During my worst time, my rescue lab mix saved me by bringing me daily joy and loyalty and love. I also like to get out in nature and then the rest of the world kind of melts away for me. I get into my primal state of mind there. That helps. But whatever works for you. Just be sure you do something to laugh.

 

Also, exercise is important to relieve stress AND release anger. I was doing water aerobic boxing and it helped relieve stress a lot.

[Endnote]

I would take a long walk, listen to music or a podcast while at it. I didn't find meditation that helpful in the very beginning, though I've tried it with success more recently. Exercise seemed to help me the most, especially in the beginning months. Whether you want to do it or not, even before going to sleep, give it shot.

 

As for the text message breakup, I can't begin to tell you how many people have been through something similar, my recent ex dumped me after 7 years over email, mind you we lived together for 5 of them. Low quality. That behavior is unacceptable.

[traditional]

I feel your pain, its just numbing. When it became too much for me I resorted to pot on advise, with the idea that it would calm me and help me relax forget and sleep. But I found myself in a nice swing, calling her number compulsively and crying her name-so not a good idea. also decided every time I think of her I would rub one off thinking about my co-worker, also a disaster because the thoughts would switch to default which is her.

 

 

You must remember love and those feelings are habits that you developed over four years, it means you have implanted your habitual mind-unconscious mind with that idea-that she is a part of your life and that you have affection. Good thing is your unconscious really does not care-it is indifferent. If you manage to re-imprint that you are alone and happy-it will also reprogram to that state. But this is just too easy to say and near impossible to do.

 

 

For now it helps to cry and feel sorry for yourself that you were rejected and hurt. You must admit that you love her and it feels very bad that she don't want you. You must talk to her in your mind all these things. Tell her that you accept but that it will take time. You must talk out as if you talk to her. It is good to keep busy and gym and friends and going out and meeting other women, but all those are external-you still have to deal with the internal. Be in the present, do not allow thoughts to take you to the past like remembering and spending time on memories. When you talk to her by yourself-say that I love you and it hurts that we are not together/that you left me, I hurt but I will get over it. Repeat it as much as you need.