My very spiritual gf left me because I wasn’t in it as deep

[Grisha]

Even though I’m not a hippie, I am very open minded and loved that my gf was so open minded and interesting. We are both 24.

 

I’m very business minded. I’m working in business and looking to start my own one day. She loved my passion and drive and how smart I was with finances and we always talked about spirituality together and how important it is to continue doing work within ourselves. I felt like we made a perfect balance. I never cared to have a gf that shared a business like mind like me. I’d honestly prefer someone opposite.

 

Our relationship was always great for the most part. We never argued. When we first started dating she told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship so I backed off and she ended up wanting me more. Then 3 months later she did the same thing and I backed off and she came to me even deeper. She’d sometimes get very moody and upset, but I always remained calm and sorted things out, gave her space, made her feel understood. (I’ve learned to understand women.)

 

Anyways, 6 months into our relationship she tells me that she sometimes can’t help but feel that she has a “twin flame” out there and it’s this guy she was talking to before her and I became official. He lived in another country but he was extremely spiritual but he ended up getting a gf and restricted contact with my gf. My gf unfollowed him off social media and didn’t speak to him since and about 3 months later, her and I became official. When she told me this, I told her that we shouldn’t be together if she feels some other guy out there is her twin flame. Her emotions were all over the place so I told her I loved her and let her go. She told me she loved me too and I didn’t see a reason to respond.

 

That whole night I couldn’t sleep because I felt it was so ridiculous to break up over something so random and so small. The guy was in a another country, they never met in person, and he has a gf. Plus this guy is an ex meth head, very poor, couch surfs, has a child with someone else, 30 years old. Like I’m not bashing the guy but I know they would never last. My gf is high maintenance and even though she’s hippie, she’s like a kardashian. I know my gf and I just know he’d never be able to make her happy. So I ended up texting her the next morning asking to meet up because I felt that he isn’t the one for her and I wanted to talk.

 

We met up and talked and she started telling me that she didn’t mean that she wanted to be with him in a physical way, that a twin flame is something spiritual where it’s more of an after life thing. Basically saying they’d never meet in person anyway.

 

We ended up being together for about a month until she again got distant and 5 days later sends a long text breaking up with me telling me she doesn’t feel like we are meant to be because she’s always been so back and forth with her feelings towards me throughout the 8 months. At this point I simply told her okay if that’s how you feel let’s meet tomorrow and give each other our stuff back and we will cut all ties.

 

The next day when we met we ended up talking for about 2 hours and she was again very emotional and never really gave me a reason why besides that basically it’s because I’m not as spiritual as her. She told me she’s very attracted to me in every way, but doesn’t feel like she can be 100% committed. She told me she’s not sure what she’ll be like later on but right now she can’t be fully committed to me. I remained calm and confident and told her that if we’re meant to be we will be together again. I told her I’d keep the door open for contact if she ever needed me and she hugged me really tight for over a minute and I left.

 

The next few days she’d initiate contact through small comments on my posts and I just kept short responses. Then she went 2 weeks without contacting me but randomly sent me a text saying how well she’s doing with work and getting her finances in order. I simply sent a short congrats response. She’d text me every few days for about 6 weeks after our breakup until I just couldn’t help it anymore.

 

I told her that we shouldn’t remain in contact because the attraction and feelings will always be there so we shouldn’t talk.

She replied 5 days later saying “I completely understand, you need to do what’s best for you.” I didn’t respond.

 

2 weeks have gone by since then and I’m still just so unsure with how we broke up. Neither one of us have gone through a break up where we both got along great and nobody is angry at the other. I keep feeling like she’ll be back because I honestly am shocked she left me.

 

I’m in love with her and I feel like she’s making a huge mistake and I’m not even sure if shes been honest with me. Will she be back soon? I can’t move on unless I find out she is with someone else and happy.

Edited December 16, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited for paragrpahs ~ V

[snowboy91]

Sorry to hear what you're going through. But it seems as if she has an idea of what she needs in a relationship, and needs someone who is as spiritual as she is. I think part of the reason she was so uncommitted the whole time was that you're very business oriented and found it difficult to relate to you, and needs someone she can be compatible with on multiple levels.

 

It's good that you broke up on good terms though - if you two tried to stick it out, things would have ended eventually, and with a lot more nastiness involved. You keep saying how other guys aren't right for her and she's making a mistake - that isn't your judgement to make, it's her life and her journey. And you've got yours - it's probably best to move on and find someone new once you've healed.

[Despr8]

Bro I've been there with the whole spiritual hippie BS. A bit of advice...Run and dont look back. Lets call them Guru chicks. I've known plenty of washed up guru chicks who cant hold a relationship if their lives depended on it. They don't typically date guys who haven't drank the kool-aid. The whole spiritual thing is to mask other things. Years down the road after getting pumped and dumped by smelly yogi guru guys then they wanna change. Don't do it to yourself because at one point she'll try some open relationship excuse so she can try a threesome. Unless you're willing to live that Burning Man lifestyle and fine with your GF bringing home a STD after trying to "connect" spiritually.

 

 

I knew this enlighten girl that was friends with my ex and in our first encounter I knew what she was about. After a few drinks and by the end of the night I called her out on her BS and told her I'll bet you that you'd trade all this spiritualism mumbo jumbo just to be a mother, but no man takes you serious enough to impregnate you at age 37.

 

 

These guru girls generally are broken souls with a lot of miles, cultish/selfish and they will put you through a world of hurt. Look for another girl who matches more with what you enjoy and values.

[HumanMachine]

OP, like you my mind is very business oriented. I’ve come to the realisation that these ‘head in the clouds’ type people are of a complete different mindset to ours. Best to let them plod along through life with their silly ideologies.