Why is my ex discussing about other dudes in front of me?

[ieele]

It's not a matter of jealousy but more of a matter of disrespect.

 

Just feel like it's a bit wrong? This isn't the first time either. I reconnected with her after NC and we chatted for quite a while. In that time she would mention all the guys that hit her up and how some dude tried to make a move on her and started touching her. She told she is definitely not talking to him anymore. II HAD NO IDEA HOW TO RESPOND... I was like why tell me this.

 

Yesterday we bumped into each other and we sticked together with some friends and again while I was near her she started discussing about another guy. She said that he barley knew him and whatever.

 

It's pretty rude and I'm wondering why she is doing this ESPECIALLY on 2 occasions now

[smackie9]

Sorry but she's being a bully, maybe trying to push you out of your little social circle, maybe she's mad at you, maybe she wants an ego boost.....you have only 2 choices, to talk to her about it or stop all contact with her.

Edited December 15, 2018 by smackie9

[PRW]

Personally I don't think there is anything going to work here. But I'll give you my analysis of what I am seeing and maybe you can avoid the same thing with the next one.

 

Just feel like it's a bit wrong? This isn't the first time either. I reconnected with her after NC

 

So a screwed up history already. "Reconnected" doesn't mean "dating" so I take it that you are not a couple right now but run in similar circles and hence "bump" into each other.

 

In that time she would mention all the guys that hit her up and how some dude tried to make a move on her and started touching her. She told she is definitely not talking to him anymore. II HAD NO IDEA HOW TO RESPOND... I was like why tell me this.

You probably have a history of being jealous and getting bent out of shape over her "talking" to other guys,...hence the former break up and the resulting NC that you are now passed. So she is just poking you with a stick to see if you have changed or are still the same old guy that she broke up with earlier. You don't even really know if these things happened, she could just be making it all up to see how you would react. Granted she is probably telling the truth, but the point is that she could be making it up and you wouldn't know either way.

 

Yesterday we bumped into each other and we sticked together with some friends

This sounds like you didn't plan to be around each other this time,...just common friends and happenstance, so this is not a date.

 

and again while I was near her she started discussing about another guy. She said that he barley knew him and whatever.

This is just more poking with a stick.

 

It's pretty rude and I'm wondering why she is doing this ESPECIALLY on 2 occasions now

It is just life dude. Stop playing the victim. If a chick I know does that to me (which rarely happens) I pat her on the back and tell her "Congats!" and ask her to teach me her secret (or some other light-hearted response my imagination comes up with). We laugh about it, and somehow miraculously, she doesn't do it any longer, and starts paying more attention to me than she does the other guys who "raised an eyebrow" at what she had been saying.

[stillafool]

OP, she was trying to show you her value (that so many guys want her) and make you jealous. You should have said "good for you, you should have given him a chance." That would have made her jaw drop.

[SunnyWeather]

Why is my ex discussing about other dudes in front of me?

 

because she's insecure and crass

[elaine567]

You are now firmly in her friend box and what do friends discuss?

They discuss their dates.

She has turned you into her bestie.

 

 

That is why you need to go NC and stay NC with people who have dumped you.

Whilst you are hoping for some "reconnection", they have hardly given you second thought, at least not in a romantic way anyway.

[Highndry]

The real question here is why are you within shouting distance of your ex? She's an ex - what are you doing talking to her, and what are you hoping to accomplish?

 

I have a rule with ex-girlfriends: We are not, nor are we EVER going to be, friends. I make it perfectly clear.

 

They all understand this, and respect my boundaries. Should we connect in the future it would be under those same circumstances. We are acquaintances who share sex and intimacy, and that will never change if we are to be in each other's company.

[basil67]

I don't see that it's rude at all. You are exes and you chose to reconnect as friends. Friends talk about their romantic interests. Do you really expect her to shelter you from knowing about her life?

 

If you don't want to hear about what's going on in her life, don't be her friend.

[d0nnivain]

She is either

 

a). clueless that this is inappropriate / mean

 

b). trying to make you jealous

 

or

 

c). drawing clear lines that there is no way you two will get back together because she has all these other options.

 

 

She's an EX. When you see her, it's OK to spend 2-3 minutes chit chatting then excuse yourself from the conversation. Simply don't engage beyond a curt acknowledgement that she is in your presence.

[preraph]

Unlike most men, women are perfectly happy to remain "just friends" with exes up to a point, so at this point you are "just a friend" and she feels she should be able to tell you stuff like she does her girlfriends. Honestly, you need to clear out if being her girlfriend isn't anything you want. Because that's where she's at. You can even tell her, You're treating me like your girlfriend now, and it's inconsiderate. I don't want to hear all that. We can be acquaintances, but I'm not up for being your bestie.

[HumanMachine]

This is why you don’t break no contact.

[Despr8]

Thats really disrespectful and would've stopped it right there and told her "i'm not one of you gossipy girlfriends" respect or peace. Odds are she probably felt you were to good for her and is trying some childish im valuable move Or she thinks you're a beta male so she can do whatever she wants. Just leave

[healing light]

She's trying to make you want her by making you jealous. If she were totally over you, she would have no motive for doing this.

[Fekenaws]

I'm of the opinion that she is putting you in the friendzone as opposed to making you jealous. She is showing that she has high value and that, at least in her current opinion, you have low value. If you want to test if she is making you jealous just make up some story about how this girl was coming on to you and casually throw it back in her face, if she reacts negatively maybe she was trying to make you jealous. If she is unphased then you're in the friendzone, and you should go No contact and move on.