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Strange behavior from ex boyfriend. Am I reading into things?

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Old 8th December 2018, 4:18 PM   #1
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Unhappy Strange behavior from ex boyfriend. Am I reading into things?

Hello everyone.

My ex-fiancÚ broke up with me two months ago. We were together for three years and lived together for about two. Our relationship was for the most part good, we loved each other and were planning marriage and a family together in the nearest future. We broke up when I confronted him about some stuff I found on his laptop - apparently he was seeing another woman last summer while we were on a break.

When I confronted him, he just responded with “I’ve been wanting to break up for a while anyway, so I’m glad you brought it up”. I was shocked. I know it was wrong to go through his computer, but I just felt like something was off in the last month, so I couldn’t help it...
During our break last summer I also moved out, but we talked and saw each other almost every day (he always initiated contact) and within the next two months we were back to living together...But this time he is acting completely different. Less than a week after our break up he got into a rebound relationship while I was still living in the house. He didn’t invite the woman to the house while I was there though, but I could hear them talking all the time..

Two weeks after our break up I moved out of his house and immediately started no contact. Since the break up he has contacted me a few times at the very beginning wishing me a good day at the university, asking how my studies are going this semester, along with some business stuff about the move. I’ve responded when he texted me, but never initiated contact. I’ve started trying to live my life and getting busy every day with activities, my university, friends, gym, family, looking good and traveling, but obviously thinking of him every day...

Two weeks after I moved, I went on a trip to Paris and posted a photo on Instagram of me in front of the Eiffel tour. (He still follows me on all social media) Next day I get a text from him “Found your ice skates, when can we meet so I can return them?” I wanted to see him, but also realized it was not a good idea for my recovery progress + I wasn’t sure of his intentions, so I responded and asked him to leave them at my neighbors apartment. He texts back that my neighbor is not picking up the phone. I didn’t respond after that. Now I’m not sure if that was the right move? I still want to get back together, I just thought he would try harder.

It’s been almost a month since he texted me about this and he still hasn’t returned my skates and my neighbor said he never even called or texted her!!! He hasn’t texted me ever since, it’s just silence. Was he “testing the waters” to see if I would meet up with him? Why hasn’t he returned the stuff? And why has he stopped texting me altogether?

His activity online is also really confusing - his relationship status is still set to “engaged” on Facebook, although he took down all our photos. He is still following me on social media + he is viewing all of my stories on Instagram. Also, I’ve recently noticed that he went through ALL of my photos on Instagram and Facebook and unliked them all (more than 150 photos dating 3 years back). Why would someone who broke up with me bother to take the time to do all that?

During the “break up talk” I asked him if he still loves me, he said yes, but is not sure if we will get back together. As he was helping me with the move, he said he is very hurt by our break up because he was planning a future with me. Also, while we were in the car he said “you are going to find another guy in 3 months and move in with him”. Why would he say this out of the blue? What is he thinking? His behavior is so confusing!

Someone help! All of your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Last edited by Moderator; 8th December 2018 at 7:04 PM..
Luna18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th December 2018, 4:27 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Luna18 View Post
I still want to get back together, I just thought he would try harder.
Good grief girl, why? This relationship died a long time ago and he treats you like a toy.

He doesn't love you, despite what he said. He keeps you just warm enough so that if his other girls don't work out, he has you waiting in wings. He probably stopped texting and unliked all your photos because he's dating someone more seriously and doesn't need you for back-up or interference anymore.

It's time to realize that the happy future you dreamed of with him is just that - a dream. It's not going to happen and you need a good dose of self-worth so you can move on.
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote


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