JC707 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 So my wife and I separated February 10 so we could work on somethings and have space, we've been together for 17 years and married for 10. She fed me a bunch of bs about how it will make us stronger as a couple and as a family, that we would go on atleast 2 dates a month, atleast 2. I find out 2 months after we split from a secret credit card that she rented airbnbs 2 weeks after we separated. 4 in total to my knowledge every weekend in march when she blew me off and I had our kids for our current custody. How do I heal myself when she won't admit the affair, says they just met during our separation. Her story changed 5 times now on when they met. It dates back to the middle of last year sometime I think. Everything makes perfect sense. I know, my kids know, her family knows, her friends all see it. She has blameshifted and gas lighting me and told hundreds of lies. Says everything is my fault, I know it isn't.But she still will not admit anything to me. How do I heal if she won't admit? Her affair partner dumped her after they went on a week long cruise to mexico. We're not getting back together and I'm filing for divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
ItIsNotMe Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 She's gas lighting you as a try to come back, may be. Her affair is over and now she's alone. She's trying to convince you that all was your fault, to make you feel guilty and accept her back. No matter how hard it is, don't do it. She has no respect for you - she's the cheater and she doesn't even have the courage to admit her deeds. She's probably prone to do it again. In my language we have a proverb "if you try to sit on 2 chairs simultaneously, you would probably fall on the ground". That's exactly what's happening with her right now - her affair is over, your marriage - too, and she's on the ground. Let her go and heal yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Is she trying to come back? If so she won't be admitting anything. How do you heal? Its tough, my wife gaslit ne for 14 months, no healing was done, only distance, resentment and anger. All you can do is accept that she will not be honest. My guess is, in time she will give you something. Mine would apologize for something she claims she didn't do...funny right, but it was acknowledgment, the best I got until she was served. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 How do you heal? Well, I found the best way is to be strong man. Don't take any of her rubbish. Don't chat, don't discuss the marriage or the divorce or your feelings or the affair. You know she is going to lie, lie lie until the cows come home so there's really no point talking to her about it. In fact don't talk to her about ANYTHING unless it's about how the finances of the marriage will be split, or where she will be living when she moves out. Link to post Share on other sites
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