DSKostadinov Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 (edited) Hi guys, I will try to keep this short. I was with my ex-fiancee for almost 5 years, we had 1 year long-distance relationship and have lived together for 2 years after that. We had the perfect relationship as we are very compatible and look in the same direction for the future, no arguments etc. She broke up with me 1.5months ago (2 months after I proposed - she wanted me to propose) saying that she wants to live a little, to go partying etc. I had to remain in the same room with her for 1month, 2 weeks after the break-up she started going out with a guy. After I left the city for my internship I told her that even though she wants us to be friends I need time to heal so I want No Contact. She didn't contact me for like 3 days and then said that she wants to come for my birthday... I agreed and we had the perfect first date, as if we have never known each other. We didn't speak about the past but she insisted on telling me that nothing happened with the other guy and it's over and that she is happy that nothing happened. I didn't initiate anything but she was holding my hand and hugging me all the time. Her plan was to leave at 23pm but she stayed until 5am. After she left she texted me that she had a great time and wants to meet again etc... She knows that I still love her and that I want to be with her and she said she won't give me any false hopes at the date but she certainly did... I don't know what to do, my expectations are that we can be back together but I am unsure if that is what she wants as well... I don't know if I should act as if I am flirting with her or try to stay a bit more NC and see whether she initiates something... I want to play this best and be back with her but her signals are so mixed... I don't think that she knows yet... If she was a girl with whom I was having a first date I would have definitely kissed her... Any advice on what to do? How to make her to want to be back together. Do I go all in as if she is someone I am trying to be with or should I be more NC? Thanks Edited July 7, 2018 by DSKostadinov Link to post Share on other sites
fredflint Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Sounds to me like she was cheating on you while you were engaged. I would be very cautious about investing yourself emotionally in this woman again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Perhaps the idea of marriage & forever scared her. You sound young . . college or just post college. She may be right that she's never lived. It's up to you but I'd be very cautious. FWIW, my college roommate has been married to her HS sweetheart for almost 27 years. Our Junior year while she was dreaming of forever, he was running for daylight. They were broken up for about 3 years. They got back together when he was in med school & never looked back. When you are young cold feet can be a surmountable issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) Hi guys, I will try to keep this short. I was with my ex-fiancee for almost 5 years, we had 1 year long-distance relationship and have lived together for 2 years after that. We had the perfect relationship as we are very compatible and look in the same direction for the future, no arguments etc. She broke up with me 1.5months ago (2 months after I proposed - she wanted me to propose) saying that she wants to live a little, to go partying etc. I had to remain in the same room with her for 1month, 2 weeks after the break-up she started going out with a guy. After I left the city for my internship I told her that even though she wants us to be friends I need time to heal so I want No Contact. She didn't contact me for like 3 days and then said that she wants to come for my birthday... why would you not have enough respect for yourself to stay in this? Her actions speak volumes. She could care less about you or your feelings. I agreed and we had the perfect first date, as if we have never known each other. We didn't speak about the past but she insisted on telling me that nothing happened with the other guy and it's over and that she is happy that nothing happened. I didn't initiate anything but she was holding my hand and hugging me all the time. Her plan was to leave at 23pm but she stayed until 5am. After she left she texted me that she had a great time and wants to meet again etc... You are very naive. You teach people how they can treat you. She knows that I still love her and that I want to be with her and she said she won't give me any false hopes at the date but she certainly did... I don't know what to do, my expectations are that we can be back together but I am unsure if that is what she wants as well... I don't know if I should act as if I am flirting with her or try to stay a bit more NC and see whether she initiates something... I want to play this best and be back with her but her signals are so mixed... I don't think that she knows yet... If she was a girl with whom I was having a first date I would have definitely kissed her... You are letting her determine your fate when that's something you should be doing. She's stepping out and you are pinning for her. I doubt she finds that attractive. Any advice on what to do? How to make her to want to be back together. Do I go all in as if she is someone I am trying to be with or should I be more NC? Thanks Hard NC period. You should download and read "No More Mr Nice Guy" free pdf She is not relationship material and you are letting yourself be played hard. Why? Edited July 8, 2018 by Marc878 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DSKostadinov Posted July 8, 2018 Author Share Posted July 8, 2018 Hard NC period. You should download and read "No More Mr Nice Guy" free pdf She is not relationship material and you are letting yourself be played hard. Why? I had to remain in the same room because we don't live in our home country and I had nowhere to go because it is a shared student house. Link to post Share on other sites
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