Help!!! Should we stay or should we just let go????

[b18bme]

Well to start things off....

 

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months and living together for the past 3. I know we moved fast but we just couldn't get enough of eachother.

 

Things where going great for a long time but lately we have been fighting SO much. We both can't stand the fighting and most of our fights are just over little things. We got in a really big fight the other night and she broke up with me saying she didn't wan't me to help her or be a part in her life anymore. That hurt sooo bad and I couldn't help it the tears came rolling down my cheeks. We agreed that I would spend that night then I would move out all my stuff the next morning. So that is what happened I moved out all my stuff and left.

 

She called me later that day and wanted to talk. I agreed and we met up. She said that seeing me cry actually gave her joy... not the good kind really but she said it showed her that I really do care, and it made her feel wanted again....something she said she has not felt in a long time. She said she wanted to try and work this out and I agreed. But I told her I was not going to move back in with her, I just barely moved everything out! She was not to happy about it but thats what I wanted and need. Things wen't ok for a couple of days but now everytime I leave her to go home she starts crying and she doesn't sleep but for just a few hours a night. She says she just can't sleep without me. She keeps saying this just seems so easy for me when really its not! It hurts bad! She has started being rude and very short with me...she says its the only way she can deal with whats going on.

 

I told her she needs to start treating me better or she is just going to push me away. She says that it just isn't fun for her to hang with me because she knows at the end of the night I am going home. Well I feel that me staying at my home will help things. It will give us time to miss eachother and give us some mystery back into our relationship. Plus I am not going to move all my stuff back in untill I am sure that we can work through all of this.

 

I am just not sure what is happening! I don't know what to do? Can someone from the outside give me some help and maybe point something out that I may be missing?!? I don't want to break up but it might just be the best thing I don't know! please help a fellow Man in need!!!!!

[Zaira]

Geez, you guys are rushing all over the place.

 

You have moved out, so keep it that way, even just for a little while - I suggest at LEAST a month. Your girlfriend has to know that you can't live like that, and she shouldn't be selfish because it IS both of you going through this rough period. Tell her that you need to have things improved living apart before you will even consider moving back in, because you just don't want things to go back to the way they were. If you were to move back in so quickly then I think it will make her think that she can walk all over you - you need to call the shots at some point! If things go back to the way they were, then you will both just end up hating each other.

 

Maybe she should try counselling if she can't bear being alone, but at this stage I don't think you should be blaming yourself for it, or trying to fix it by moving straight back in. Actually, if I were you, I would be spending a little less time with her overall, and encouraging her to do things for herself, and finding activities to keep her mind off it -- as you should be doing too.

 

I have found that people can't really be happy together, unless they can be happy with themselves (apart).

[Cwazydude]

Compromise is one of the many keys to a good relationship. Maybe you could move a little bit of your stuff back in, and sleep there every now and then.

 

Some relationships have fighting phases, it happens. Just, Try to work it out, meet her needs a little and make sure she meets your needs a little.

 

Just, Find that middle ground and you'll be fine.