tattoos Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Approaching the second longest length i've gone without talking to my ex and it's hurting. I know 9 days is nothing. I'm wanting to call so bad but I know the outcome won't change. Currently having an overwhelming sense of guilt for everything that happened in the breakup. To elaborate further I just feel like I could've done better. When I met my ex at 16 it was my first real relationship. She was a lot more mature and relationship focused then I was (wanted to party, hangout with friends, etc...) Now that I am 20 I just have a completely different mindset. I made mistakes, a lot of mistakes. Whether it was not being there or arguing and being a jerk at times, or not taking her out as much as I should have in year 2 or year 3. Currently I'm having a hard time processing that she's gone. If you've read my original thread regarding my story. She's with her coworker that she essentially cheated on me with and it's been like this now for 3 months approaching 4. Last time I spoke with her was last Saturday. Emotional conversation with me begging back for her telling her I'll treat her different cause I've changed so much and she's pretty much a main priority at this point. She'll say that I hurt her a lot, and that she wanted to stay but then states that it's not the right time and it wouldn't work. She doesn't stop telling me she loves me and adores me to pieces and that she misses tons of things about me. That makes me want to fight because I do think things can be different and healthy and i don't want to lose her to this other guy. She just doesn't believe me and now she hasn't called for the last 9 days and i'm freaking out even though I told her I can't speak to her and I want nothing less than a relationship. I've been working out regularly, just inquired a new job opportunity, and even been around the friends more. But my ex is on my mind 24/7. And i'm constantly trying to figure out if she'll come back due to the fact that we've been in contact this entire time and she hasn't even done anything serious with this other guy. She'll call with random excuses, asking me how I am, and that she misses me. But once I show the backbone or any sight of moving on she states things that make me crumble. Such as "Why do you hate me?" or "I can hear it in your voice you don't care, why..". She told me they express feelings but all they do is hook up. I can't stop trying to analyze the situation with figuring out if she'll ever come back. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 She's not going to come back. She cheated on you then chose him over you. Sorry but that is the reality. You have to find a way to accept that it's over & stop holding out hope. It's tough because she's all you have known. It's OK to grieve the loss of something that was so precious to you but you have to embrace the change. Spend time with your buddies this summer. Don't worry about dating. Just self soothe & heal. In time you will be ready to date someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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