LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Just found out my ex lied and has slept with someone-so hurt!


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree6Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 14th May 2018, 1:06 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: North of London
Posts: 86
Just found out my ex lied and has slept with someone-so hurt!

Hi everybody. At this very moment I am in a world of hurt and here is my story. Me and my ex girlfriend have been broken up since January 2018. She became very neglectful of the relationship even though in the past year we bought a beautiful house and a little puppy. Her family treat me like a son and I've always been very close to them.

On the day my nanny died I had no support from here which ended in a row and she moved back to her parents and took the puppy with her. I've been in the house on my own and am financially ok on my own. Throughout the breakup she has been a mess and ploughed herself into work. I really thought we would work through it as we had a few tiny problems a couple of years ago but we came out stronger and things were great.

During this breakup I've been my normal self. I'm a loyal guy who will support etc but I haven't chased her. However, I have got nothing from her. The only time we speak is when we see the puppy etc. Anyways, this weekend she was asking if I could have the pup for the weekend so she could go out with friends. I thought no problem. Yesterday my friend calls me and says that she's had a guy staying over whilst her parents are away on holiday. He's a member at the gym where she works.

This was confirmed when I asked her sister. Her parents are disgusted and I feel constantly sick. I gave her everything but she makes all sorts of excuses flipping it round on me. She got angry three weeks on my birthday when my friend Meghan took me out for dinner. I didn't even get a text from my ex! I think she's making all sorts of excuses to validate what she is doing. I've been through breakups before but this really hurts as I invested my whole life with her. She's even been walking our dog with him.

I never thought she would be like this. I've called a few solicitors today to get the ball rolling with taking her off the house etc. She doesn't seem to care. The biggest thing that hurts is that she used me to look after the pup whilst she had someone round. Complete liar! How do I get beyond this..need advice as I'm really hurting right now

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 14th May 2018 at 2:42 PM.. Reason: Paragraphs
dv123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th May 2018, 9:06 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 3,183
Well, i know LS is slow...

Well, I know LS is slow... because the site just came up.


So what you need to know, if you have not figured it out yet, is that she has been screwing this guys for a while. When things changed in the relationship that is when her affair started.


How long has that been going on, well that is when she started cheating.


Best thing you can do it is just split everything up and move on and, don't watch the dog anymore.
BluesPower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th May 2018, 2:36 AM   #3
Established Member
 
PegNosePete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 9,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by dv123 View Post
How do I get beyond this..
You get beyond it by facing up to what is going on. You need to wake up and smell the coffee dude.

She is your EX. You might still have feelings for her, but clearly she has none for you. To her, you're simply a convenient puppy sitter.

You've been split up for 4 months. Now what you need to do is sever the ties. You need to sort out the house if it's in joint names: either you buy her out, or sell. You need to sort out ownership of the dog: there's no such thing as visitation for animals. And once those 2 things are done, you need to cut off her, her family, and her friends, forever.
__________________
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
-- Douglas Adams
PegNosePete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th May 2018, 9:31 AM   #4
Established Member
 
act00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,654
You broke up officially in January, but she had been "neglectful" of the relationship prior to that. She already had her doubts and possibly even one foot out the door before the final blow finally came. Who knows if there was anything physical with this guy from work or any actual cheating during this time, but one thing I'm certain of is that she found herself attracted to and wanting to date him or other men, and not so much you anymore. It sounds like things were deteriorating long before things came to a head in January.

This is part of what plays into dating and sleeping with this man so soon. She was out of this relationship long before now, and she has moved on.

You need to sever ties, from the house to the dog to the family. Some of your mutual friends will be lost. No you don't get to have long discussions with her family about her behavior anymore. It's great for you that they're validating you, but I don't know why it's any of their business who she chooses to be with. It's not you. End of story.

I'm sorry for the pain, but realize that the issues that led up to the breakup meant that she was on the last leg, at a point where she wasn't going to try anymore. It just needed that push to officially end it.

The sooner you can sever ties, the sooner you can move on and heal. Sorry you're going through this.
act00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th May 2018, 10:14 AM   #5
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 32,999
She was free to have this guy round because you are broken up. She's sharing the dog with you & you can afford the house. It's good that you are getting her off the mortgage & fully out of your life. Keep moving forward & remember you are well rid of her.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th May 2018, 11:16 PM   #6
Established Member
 
BC1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 7,977
It's hurtful to find out an ex has moved on to someone else, but it's a good reality check. It drives the final nail in the coffin. Get mad about out for a few days and then realize you can now move on without looking back. Trust me, it will help you in the long run that this happened because you won't be holding onto false hope.
BC1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th May 2018, 7:56 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 685
If a partner is not there during bereavement, they are not the partner for you. Its the most crystal clear sign.

It really is time to cut all ties with her and move on, to cope with your loss and move on.
fromheart is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Found out my ex has slept with someone new Emma1234 Breaks and Breaking Up 30 16th October 2013 5:47 PM
Need ! I am so hurt and devastated!!! My ex has already slept with someone Michellinda Breaks and Breaking Up 7 21st January 2013 6:24 PM
She Slept with someone else and lied about it for months DanR2008 Breaks and Breaking Up 20 12th July 2008 3:57 PM
Just found out weeks ago my girlfriend has practically slept with the whole town! Galaxy Dating 14 8th June 2006 11:23 AM
Separated 1 yr 3 mo's Wife has slept with 2 people, I have slept with 4 soooconfused Separation and Divorce 4 27th May 2004 4:28 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:08 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.