Difficult Breakup. Feeling Lost.

[hopeless08]

Trying to keep my head up. In short, the man I love is in a relationship with someone. Everything between us happened organically (at least on my part). I didn’t even WANT to be in love originally as I was focused on finishing university and hadn’t dated anyone the whole time I was in school. The other day he cried on the phone telling me loved me but that he felt bad because he cant be here for me like I need him to be. He also doesn’t foresee himself getting out of his current relationship anytime soon because his girlfriend has children from a previous marriage and one with him, and they are financially dependent of one another. All this makes me feel like an idiot for even opening my heart up to love again. Now, I am by myself once again. The other night we sat on the phone for two hours crying and telling each other that we have to let go of one another. But I do believe if we are meant to be together it will happen on the right terms and I should still be happy regardless; it's just difficult to be happy when my heart feels broken. I’ve completed school, am financially stable, and I’ve endured a lot emotional pain over the years. But I don’t want to have to go through this pain. This is hard.

[PRW]

Learn the concept of casual dating. During that time you are not in a relationship and not boyfriend/girlfriend. You should date more than one at a time (again, not a relationship, not boyfriend/girlfriend). I usually recommend 2-3. More than that gets to be too complicated. Go into these dates without any preconceived expectations, don't go into thinking this may be "The One". Just hang out and have fun. But the balance of that is that they are real dates, I'm not talking about friend zone stuff. So hopefully along the way someone stands out from the pack and you can then start to focus more on that one. But if no one stands out for a while then just enjoy, have fun.

 

This is the best way to get over the pain, and at the same time it teaches you that you really do have options out there. Practice makes perfect, you will get better, more skilled, and wiser at dating as you go along.