LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

How to get past the anger stage?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree4Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 13th March 2018, 10:38 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 62
How to get past the anger stage?

Hey,

a few of you may know that I got dumbed in January after having an abortion. My ex left my while I was going through hell and at first I was just sad and felt broken. I have definitely moved on from that stage as I realized how much of a monster he actually is. However, every single day I feel so upset with him and myself. I question why I put up with a man like him for so long? How can I find peace and get rid of that anger I feel inside of me
? I feel so upset that I feel the urge to send him and even his family members long letters.
Lenila1992 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2018, 12:27 AM   #2
Established Member
 
todreaminblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: down under
Posts: 14,996
write the letters get that anger out fo you/........write long letters.....then rip them up ...vent on here if you have too....i journal...and i let anger go it is really helpful for me...to let go of negativity by writing ...not only for pleasure but for peace........and breathe..its over cant be changed .......realize your l8ife is from right now...not yesterday ...and live your life with love in your heart ...for tomorrow and every day after.....you wont ever get a sorry so never expect it...forgive yourself...thats what you have to do ..........deb
__________________
Captive with chains held unbroken, in my fists
born by the lips i lose and lips that I've kissed.....
todreaminblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2018, 12:31 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,798
No no no. No letters or contact with him or his family. Can you talk with friends and family? Do you have any hobbies or do you work out at all? I can tell you that playing sports and working out helped me a lot especially during the anger stage. Also, I wrote a lot of stuff out but never sent it. It felt good to write out what I was feeling, but you can never send it. The anger stage may come and go a few times.
dumbass2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2018, 12:48 AM   #4
Established Member
 
todreaminblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: down under
Posts: 14,996
Quote:
Originally Posted by dumbass2 View Post
No no no. No letters or contact with him or his family. Can you talk with friends and family? Do you have any hobbies or do you work out at all? I can tell you that playing sports and working out helped me a lot especially during the anger stage. Also, I wrote a lot of stuff out but never sent it. It felt good to write out what I was feeling, but you can never send it. The anger stage may come and go a few times.
too true anger subsides.....like a tide with writing....

i am so glad i have never said the words when i have written in anger......because anger if you look at it is just hurt feelings lashing out....and i dotn want to because i am hurt...hurt someone else .....so writing is a really good outlet..and when you do meet up again you might even manage to discuss what went wrong and see that it takes two to fight...i never stay angry long and thank god i didnt say the words and guiding me to a notebook or online journal instead....if i keep what i have written which sometimes i do ....i feel ashamed at my horrible words and see where most of the time i am partly to blame.......and thank god again...for loving me ...even when im angry....to not lash out....and hurt another...because ...i honestly ....dont want to hurt anyone....ever.....at the time though......i wanted to tie them to ceiling fans and hit rotate till they say sorry ...because they hurt me......i find it much easier to forgive without an apology ..... ...when the anger ......is out of me....and it doesnt take too long once i start writing..................deb..
todreaminblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2018, 3:59 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 184
This is a very tricky stage and a point where you can mess up and go completely wrong, acceptance of the emotions-anger is a great way to cope, even in the thick of it, reinforced belief that this is one of the stages of healing is important.

It's very detrimental to send those letters because the purpose and the outcome are very different.
Young mind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th March 2018, 1:08 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 62
I am not trying to fix anything with this guy relationship wise.
He turnt out to be a monster. This is more about me as I am still dealing with the loss of the baby. The last few days Ive felt really sad and guilty after I thought Im on the other side of this.
Dealing with the aftermath of an abortion after being dumped in such a cruel way is so painful. I feel like I can't deal anymore
Lenila1992 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th March 2018, 1:32 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: N/A - Correct. I do live in North America.
Posts: 388
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenila1992 View Post
I am not trying to fix anything with this guy relationship wise.
He turnt out to be a monster. This is more about me as I am still dealing with the loss of the baby. The last few days Ive felt really sad and guilty after I thought Im on the other side of this.
Dealing with the aftermath of an abortion after being dumped in such a cruel way is so painful. I feel like I can't deal anymore
I was in a relationship that involved an abortion (as the guy) and it was difficult to get over. Fortunately I write songs and poems and writing a song about the child who lost its life in that situation helped. Your letters might not have an effect, but writing them did. I would encourage you to keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions. Writing is a powerful tool.
Romantic_Antics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th March 2018, 10:19 AM   #8
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenila1992 View Post
I am not trying to fix anything with this guy relationship wise.
He turnt out to be a monster. This is more about me as I am still dealing with the loss of the baby. The last few days Ive felt really sad and guilty after I thought Im on the other side of this.
Dealing with the aftermath of an abortion after being dumped in such a cruel way is so painful. I feel like I can't deal anymore
I am so sorry for your loss. I've known several women who have and abortions and they have told me that the regret and sadness are very real. What you are experiencing is normal and it may last a while. It certainly isn't easy, though. Is there anyone that you can talk to...a counselor or pastor? I know that in my town, the crisis pregnancy center (not the one that performs abortions) has someone who can help women who have been through what you've been through. Maybe you could check to see if there is something like that in your town.
SummerW is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Anger stage :( Hobbit Coping 0 11th September 2012 7:42 AM
Think i'm now in the anger stage k100danny Breaks and Breaking Up 2 18th August 2012 6:21 PM
I think I am in the anger stage Hindsight_is_20_20 Breaks and Breaking Up 6 15th August 2012 2:05 PM
Past the anger stage... Now back to being sad and missing him! :( flow15 Coping 16 11th April 2011 2:01 PM
At The Anger Stage BenThereDunThat The Other Man / Woman 14 5th August 2006 10:11 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:16 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.