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She cheated on me and now desperately wants me back


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 1st January 2018, 8:09 AM   #1
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Unhappy She cheated on me and now desperately wants me back

I dated my ex girlfriend for 2 years and I was head over heels in love with her and she said she loves me too (she claims). Until not so long ago when I started suspecting she was seeing someone else on the side. I ALWAYS trust my gut instinct and 99.9% of the time my gut is telling the truth, turns out I was right. I asked her out on a date and she declined and said shes already made plans to hang with her friends ( translation : no thanks Iím going to hang with my other boyfriend).

So I decided to follow her to the guys house, I know where he lives (he lives about a mile and a half from her house, mind you itís dark out so she canít distinguish whoís around because you canít see the cars around, and sure enough guess whoís car is parked in his driveway
This is 2 days before Christmas so Iím sitting in my car waiting for her to come out with him. I have her Christmas present in my hand, Iím squeezing it so hard the wrapping paper is starting to rip open, and my heart is vibrating and I felt like I could snap at any second.

So when I see her come out she was with him and they exchanged hugs and kisses and i immediately stormed out of my car and made a B- line to her and she saw me I heard her faintly say ďoh sh*tĒ and I began my rant and said ď so itís true, you are seeing someone else on the side!Ē and she had this expression on her face knowing she had been caught and didnít know what to say, so I carried on saying ď you are a liar, a fraud a phony and youíre faker than a 3 dollar bill and I never want to see you again, take your fu*king Christmas gift and shove it up your a$$ because you and me are done and I mean fu*king done do you understand me?Ē (I threw her Christmas present on the ground hoping it would break. I bought her a nice diamond necklace)

And she tried to talk to me with the whole ď baby please talk to me.Ē bs and I wasnít having it. She started crying and pleading me to not leave but I pushed her away and sped away in my car, and IMMEDIATELY deleted her off of everything and burned our self portrait of us because I was so crushed. A week later on December 30th her sisters and family and friends are all trying to talk to me and telling me sheís an emotional wreck without me and she canít get out of bed and canít eat and is crying so much her bed is soaked in tears, theyíre saying sheís dying without me and she wants me back and doesnít want to lose me. Theyíre asking me to talk to her but Iím beyond disgusted with her actions.

What should I do? I loved her beyond words and she betrayed me 2 days before Christmas where we had a special day planned. Should I stick to my guns and avoid her or hear her out?
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:23 AM   #2
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She betrayed you and will do so again in the future. She not only cheated but lied. There is no excuse for that.

You can never have anything of value with her and I would not let your love for her allow her to come back. You loved who you thought she was; not who she is.

If you do, she will promise/do the world for you - until she cheats again.

I would not have given her the diamond necklace.

And as much as her family says sheís a mess, do you think she was a mess when her legs were up in the air getting pounded by this guy?

F her. Find another girl.
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:23 AM   #3
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She cheated on you.

To many that is unforgivable. Instead of talking to you, working on the relationship, or anything that shows RESPECT for you she went for quick gratification and started seeing someone on the side.

I wouldn't of even left the necklace. I would've returned that and used the money to change the locks. Be done with it. She doesn't respect you and she's only sorry because she got caught.
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:43 AM   #4
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You did the right thing. Avoid her and everyone thatís connected to her.
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:45 AM   #5
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For many people, cheating is the ultimate deal breaker; for others, it's something that can be worked through in ways that make the relationship stronger.

Only you know how you feel about it, and with all the emotions swirling right now you probably can't figure that out, so I'd give it all time to settle. I'd keep A LOT of distance right now so you can reflect on the entire relationship and see if it's really something you want back in. Odds are you'll want to move on.
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:48 AM   #6
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I didnít read the post, but based on the title..

Do not ever to back there man.. DONíT DO IT!!!
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:52 AM   #7
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Dude, she cheated on you for who knows how long...all you should do is stick to your guns and STAY NO CONTACT (which includes her family and her friends). She cheated so she's out. Who cares if she cries herself to sleep?! She obviously has someone else to comfort her. If you let her weasel her way back into your life, not only will you appear weak by not sticking to your word but you'll essentially tell her it's ok to treat you any way she pleases. Why? Because you'll take her back no matter what.

Understand that she did this to herself. So she has to live with the consequences of her actions. Do you think her pillows were soaked with the tears of a thousand children when she was with the other guy? Nope. She was probably thinking about how good she had it to keep her main guy and have a guy on the side too. She has exposed you to who knows what as far as diseases are concerned and just showed how manipulative she can be. Did her friends and family reach out when she was out with the other guy to warn you? No, probably not.

Stay the course, move on, and find someone trustworthy (hard to do these days...i know). She isn't worth the time and effort it will take to rebuild the trust you once had in her. It will hurt her a lot more for you to quietly move on and show her that she doesn't have a place in your life anymore. She holds no power over you when you move on, self-improve, and fulfill your goals. Best of luck!!

Edit: And I forgot all about the necklace...dude, you left her a diamond necklace?! You can't be serious. You should've returned it and put that money toward a nice vacation WITHOUT HER.

Last edited by LostOnes05; 1st January 2018 at 8:56 AM..
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Old 1st January 2018, 10:14 AM   #8
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Donít look back.

She knows that no other guy would want her because she has cheated in the past, except you.
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Old 1st January 2018, 10:38 AM   #9
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What was her reasoning for cheating?
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Old 1st January 2018, 10:51 AM   #10
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Good for you that you caught her and confronted her. Now continue no contact no matter how much she tries to contact you. If you take her back she will have no respect for you and will cheat again because there were no consequences. Sorry you go hurt but it was best to find out the type of woman she was before you put a ring on her finger. Also you should have kept the gift and got your money back. She doesn't deserve it. Don't look back.
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Old 1st January 2018, 11:23 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vickyp View Post
What was her reasoning for cheating?
What? Reason for cheating?! There is NEVER a reason to cheat.
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Old 1st January 2018, 12:45 PM   #12
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Forget about her; she is the worst kind of cheater because it sounds like this was going on for a while. She was actively deceiving you and playing you for a fool.

So now she is crying crocodile tears? Boo hoo. She wouldn't be if she hadn't been caught. She'd still be seeing her other guy. Tell her friends and family to get stuffed.

She doesn't desperately want you back. She desperately wants the guilt to go away. Those are two very different things; don't make the foolish mistake of confusing embarrassment and guilt for regret and remorse.

Last edited by ExpatInItaly; 1st January 2018 at 12:47 PM..
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Old 1st January 2018, 12:56 PM   #13
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You did what was needed. The only thing left is to stay completely dark.

She's a cheating liar and that's all you need to know.

Her words are meaningless. Why listen to her crap now?

Unless you like drama in your life and a repeat of what you just went through.
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Old 1st January 2018, 12:58 PM   #14
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Who cares what she wants?

You wanted a GF who was honest & trustworthy. Neither of you got what you wanted.

Yes it hurts but you can't go back.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:17 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Who cares what she wants?

You wanted a GF who was honest & trustworthy. Neither of you got what you wanted.

Yes it hurts but you can't go back.
Better read this again.
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