Gf of two years broke my heart and left me

[Kaidan513]

So my ex girlfriend and I whom I have been with and lived with for two years recently broke up. A little too recently, as it has been three days since our bitter, tearful end. I caught her cheating on tumblr-sending nudes and lingerie pics to people online, and when I confronted her she got silent and then said I wasn't what she wanted anymore, and that was that. She cut me quickly out of her life, blocking me on social media platforms, blocking my phone number so I wouldn't reach out to her leaving behind really no closure as to why she stopped loving me after two years, and why she cheated. So a few days later, after drinking and crying myself to sleep, I decided it was time to move on. I needed to say things on my end to her so that I could get clarity. That's when I decided to reach out to her but of course she blocked my phone number so I had to create s google voice number and contact her that way. I called her leaving a vmail, no response. Desperate for her attention, I sent her a lengthy text, asking to at least give me closure, and for friendship. To which she responded "I've said what I needed to say. stop trying to contact me. I haven't been happy for a long time. Maybe down the road we can talk, but not now. Please respect my request." And then her mom texted me saying I was harassing her daughter and that she'll contact a lawyer if I don't stop. To me I think that was a bit dramatic and incredibly hurtful. I was in pain from what just happened and though me contacting her with two separate numbers was a bit much, I was hurting. I keep asking myself was i not good enough? Could I have tried more to be more attractive or done things differently. I'll never see her again and that realization is what sucks. "Maybe down the road but not now" what does that mean? She'll come back to me? How do you get over someone that has literally been in your life day in and day out for a little two years? Cutting you off completely without a warning or heads up. Sometimes I wish I didn't confront her with tumblr. Sometimes I wish I didn't even see those pictures and flirting she did with another person. Because life was amazing with her in my life and she was my best friend, someone who got my humor and rubbed my head when I was anxious or scared. She cooked my favorite dinners, held me close at night. She was everything to me and I keep thinking this is all my fault.

Towards the end we were long distance, I moved back with my parents to finish school in VA and she moved to NYC. There will be no way of ever running into her or seeing her on the street and that is so painful. How do you move on? Everywhere I looked there she is. I've created memories in my house with her when she lived with me, and my room especially my bed where we laid. How the hell does it get better??!!! How do I move on? I loved her more than life itself..

[d0nnivain]

Breaking up is painful. It hurts & is a blow to your ego.

 

 

But you do heal. Just like physical injuries are acutely painful at first but then they scab over, the black & blues heal & you get better. So too with a broken heart. It just takes time. If your arm was in a cast you wouldn't expect to be back at full strength in 3 days so you have to give this time too.

 

 

You are never going to get closure from her. You have to get it from yourself.

 

 

In time you will move on to productive anger where you will realize you are better off without a GF who sends nudes & lingerie pictures to other men on tumblr.

 

 

For now, if you must purge, get a pen & paper. Do not type this -- handwrite it. Get all your thoughts out -- everything you want to say to her. When you are done, put it in a drawer. Wait at least a week -- next weekend would be better. Take it out & reread it. In a safe space set up a small fire & burn the letter. Watch the flames consume the pages & watch the smoke drift up. Let your anger & angst go with the smoke.

 

 

Meanwhile purge your house & computer of the mementos. Redecorate. Surround yourself with supportive upbeat friends. Keep busy.

[skisa]

Try to think the other way around: how lucky you are that you found out. Take this as a closure, for yourself. Imagine that she begs you forgiving instead of leaving you, and then you stay with her. Would you have trusted her again? Probably not. Sending nudes is some of the things I find more disrespectful in the world. Do you want someone like this in your life? How good she was for 2 years doesnt matter, because at this point, she is not that good anymore. She told you...she was faking, she was not happy, so be happy that happened now and not in one year